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Buddhism and Children
I just viewed the thread titled "Obey Authority" and I like many others found it quite disturbing, almost to the point of brainwashing.
Anyway, my question to the forum is: Should we introduce Buddhism to children and if so, in what sort of age range?
My view is that we should introduce them to compassion and loving kindness immediately. We should also make them aware of Buddhism from about the age of 10 but never take an evangelical approach allowing them to explore for themselves i.e. decisions on following a Buddhist path should be based on the influence of parents but of free will when the child is sufficiently mature to make such a big decision.
Of course, this may be contrary to some Buddhist traditions where children are introduced to Buddhism from a very early age being taught in a monastery and "made" by parents to follow the monastic path. Brainwashing?
Spock
Anyway, my question to the forum is: Should we introduce Buddhism to children and if so, in what sort of age range?
My view is that we should introduce them to compassion and loving kindness immediately. We should also make them aware of Buddhism from about the age of 10 but never take an evangelical approach allowing them to explore for themselves i.e. decisions on following a Buddhist path should be based on the influence of parents but of free will when the child is sufficiently mature to make such a big decision.
Of course, this may be contrary to some Buddhist traditions where children are introduced to Buddhism from a very early age being taught in a monastery and "made" by parents to follow the monastic path. Brainwashing?
Spock
0
Comments
The wonderful thing about Buddhism is that it can be exposed to any situation without even being called Buddhism. The Eightfold Path encompasses every aspect of existence.
It's Right "everything".
What better could you teach children?
BTW, IM_H_O Don't give it a name. Re-title and re-word the 8 fold path if you have to. Don't have your kids get labelled Buddhist. Too much of an easy target given the nature of kids. I dunno. Just guessing.
If the children are children of non-Buddhists, but they learn this, it will be in the guise of something else anyway.
Alternatively, when parents embody certain dhamma qualities, especially genuine metta or friendship with their children, then Dhamma will flow to their children.
When the Buddha taught his child Rahula, he taught two things:
1. Honesty
2. To reflect on actions for oneself to assess whether those actions are skilful or harmful.
The Buddha empowered his son to learn to make his own decisions and take personal responsibility for those decisions.
This seems like enough. We would not want to be teaching our children things such as all conditioned things are unsatisfactory (dukkha) & empty. These realities must be seen via a deep urge for liberation & insight rather than via brainwashing.
The Buddha taught his son Rahula meditation when Rahula was 18 years old. But this was only after Rahula asked the Buddha about it.
I think those non-parents on the group are under the impression that parenting is about telling your kids stuff and they'll just believe you
But kids are wonderful teachers to their parents - even if they're not always the beautiful, compassionate innocents we think they should be. Kids and their parents are all flawed human beings, after all.
I don't have kids now, but if I did then probably the way I'd go about it would be teaching them about interdependence (another way of saying not-self), impermanence, the cause and effect of our actions, how our wants lead to frustration, how others are in the same boat and we should have compassion... in other words, not Buddhism; rather, what Buddhism teaches. That way they don't seem weird to other kids at school because they're "Buddhist". The words Buddhist and Buddhism wouldn't even come up. When they get older, then would be the time to tell them about enlightenment and the like.
Namaste
Restating my original point. If I were a parent I'd definitely raise them Buddhist but I'd try to eliminate the Buddhist label until they and their classmates got more mature. Just speculating. I don't really know what I'd do.
But I don't really hammer home it's Buddhism. It's just how we live.
In metta,
Raven
any good ideas/books/articles, etc., on how to teach mindfulness to young children?
I'll do the same with Mini Me when she reaches that age. After all, if we raise our kids to THINK and use their brains, can we not then trust them to be able to make a decision wisely?
I don't agree with never discussing religion with them, it may make them more impressionable as they don't have a grounding to make comparisons with.
In metta,
Raven
Not mindfulness?
haha! I thought someone would nail me on that, I didn't know it'd be you, DD! I had it coming, didn't I? But you know, it's a lot easier to throw oneself wholeheartedly into something when one is young and naive. Harder to do when one is older, sadder and wiser.
( :bowdown: )
That said, I agree with dhammachick that there isn't anything inherently wrong with raising children one way or another, and I don't see anything wrong with raising them with Buddhist influences and practices as long as they're not being pressured into observing them. I mean, if Buddhism is a big part of a parent's life, it's more often than not going to influence the entire social dynamic of the family. For example, it sounds like dhammachick is doing it right when she says, "I don't really hammer home it's Buddhism. It's just how we live."
Anyway, I realized I didn't want my children learning about religion from kids on the bus. We joined a Unitarian Universalist church soon after. The church provides religious education that strives to give children accurate and appropriate (tailored to each age group) information about the beliefs of the major world religions without forcing any of those beliefs or practices upon them. We do teach them the basic UU principles, which include things like belief in the inherent worth and dignity of every person. These principles are pretty compatible with Buddhism and I currently attend Buddhist meditation classes which are held at the church.
I am not specifically plugging UUism here, but the general approach of educating without pressure is working well for my children. It is helping them to understand those around them and start thinking about their own beliefs. Right now, since I've started meditating, we do discuss Buddhism. I have answered their questions to the best of my (still limited) knowledge and admit when I don't know or don't understand. If they want to pursue Buddhism further, I'll certainly support that but I won't force it either.
I do have one simple mantra for my boy to follow : "Do one thing at a time". Eat when you eat, Play when you play, Watch TV when you watch TV. :coffee:
I believe that if we don't teach our children, others will. I think it is important to be proactive about discussing such topics and giving our children values to help guide their choices. Of course it is important to keep the discussions age-appropriate, but as a parent I can say that my children have sometimes surprised me with what they can handle.
http://www.buddhanet.net/mag_kids.htm
Children's e-books
http://www.buddhanet.net/ebooks_childrens.htm
and sections for Primary and Secondary schools
http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/buddhism/index.htm
.
She's 9. Kids will mull over information they receive from all sources. I have always tried to lead by example and I've guided her towards Buddhism but not forced her to it. She has decided to try it for herself and I truly believe this will be a good decision for her.
I was just so stoked I had to share. Sorry for thread hijacking.
In metta,
Raven
In metta,
Raven