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Dealing with guilt when breaking precepts..

painpain
edited January 2011 in Buddhism Basics
Hey all,

I've recently decided to take the ten grave precepts. I wasn't expecting myself to be Mr. Perfect and keep all the precepts without ever breaking them.

However, whenever I break one of the precepts or by just knowing that I will break the precepts in the future brings this sense of guilt and inadequacy.

How do you deal with this kind of self-critical thoughts while taking the precepts?

Comments

  • MountainsMountains Veteran
    Let it go... Guilt is a conditioned response like anything else. You're not perfect, so the sooner you accept that and move on, the happier you'll be (same for every one of us). It's like when you start to meditate and you get frustrated and start beating yourself up because you "can't concentrate". Oh well, that's part of the process. Just notice it, return to what you were doing, and move on. The more you try to "do" something about it, the more life you're giving it. Just let it go...

    Aaaaauuuuuuuummmmmmmmm

    dooksta123
  • compassionate_warriorcompassionate_warrior Veteran
    Why did you take the precepts if you knew you wouldn't be able to keep them?
  • painpain
    Why did you take the precepts if you knew you wouldn't be able to keep them?
    I'm not sure to be honest.

    I know that I'm still way too attached to worldly things and have a lot of personal issues. But, I thought that I don't have to wait to be until I'm perfect to take the precepts.

    Another reason is that I wanted to reduce actions that may cause bad karma.
  • compassionate_warriorcompassionate_warrior Veteran
    edited January 2011
    Most sources I've read say that you should only take vows you know you can keep. But I just did some research online, and found an opinion that said lay people can take vows and use them as a discipline, i.e. a goal to strive for. That's new to me, but since you've already taken them, you may as well go with the latter position. But all 10? That's a lot. A little over-ambitious, perhaps?

    Let go of the self-critical thoughts. Do as in meditation; when the mind wanders, you don't beat yourself up, you just bring the focus back to the breath. When you break a precept, just get back on track. It may help to see your lama/roshi/teacher and get a purification after you break a vow.
  • nanadhajananadhaja Veteran
    I am not sure if I've got this right or not so please forgive me if I am not correct.You are a lay person trying to live on 10 precepts.I would think this is going to be real tricky.First of all,how will you deal with the no money aspect?
    When I was a lay person I tried my best to live on 5 precepts.This is usually not too difficult.I did occasionally blow it when it came to the 5th precept,but I never beat myself up over it.I would just retake it and try harder next time.
    Guilt is a stupid emotion,so don't hold onto this.Regret what you have done and move on.
    I remember the story of Robbie Burns(I think this is the author)about the spider spinning the web.The spider was having difficulties getting it right but kept trying.The moral of the story was-Try,try and try again.You will get there in the end.
    With metta,
    Phra Greg
  • painpain
    there is no precept directly about money in the grave precepts.

    The Ten Grave Precepts

    * Affirm life – Do not kill
    * Be giving – Do not steal
    * Honor the body – Do not misuse sexuality
    * Manifest truth – Do not lie
    * Proceed clearly – Do not cloud the mind
    * See the perfection – Do not speak of others errors and faults
    * Realize self and other as one – Do not elevate the self and blame others
    * Give generously – Do not be withholding
    * Actualize harmony – Do not be angry
    * Experience the intimacy of things – Do not defile the Three Treasures
  • buddhajunkiebuddhajunkie

    If guilt is anger directed at oneself, then you are violating a precept by feeling guilty. Stop now, and have compassion for yourself.


    I think it would be useful, though, to look into this guilt. Guilt usually happens when you hurt or disappoint someone else (or perhaps some imagined sentient being, like God).

    Perhaps it would be best to keep in mind that the path is first meant to alleviate one's own suffering.

    Therefore, if I have a headache and I fail to take an aspirin promptly, I unnecessarily prolong my pain. However, I do not feel guilty for this. I simply make sure to take the aspirin as soon as I can.

    It is a similar thing if you are slow to progress along the path.
  • nanadhajananadhaja Veteran
    there is no precept directly about money in the grave precepts.

    The Ten Grave Precepts

    * Affirm life – Do not kill
    * Be giving – Do not steal
    * Honor the body – Do not misuse sexuality
    * Manifest truth – Do not lie
    * Proceed clearly – Do not cloud the mind
    * See the perfection – Do not speak of others errors and faults
    * Realize self and other as one – Do not elevate the self and blame others
    * Give generously – Do not be withholding
    * Actualize harmony – Do not be angry
    * Experience the intimacy of things – Do not defile the Three Treasures
    Thanks for showing me that.Ya learn something new each day.I googled these precepts just now.I have not seen them before.
    I still say that you should just regret the fact that you were unable to keep a precept,retake it and try again.
    Wishing you the very best in your practice.
    With metta,
    Phra Greg

  • sukhitasukhita
    edited January 2011
    Just some thoughts...

    ~~ Maybe go back to the five precepts and start all over again, gradually moving on to the eight precepts and then ten precepts.

    ~~ The precepts are "training rules" and not "commandments". Treat them as such!

    ~~ If you slipped in a precept, you slipped, it's gone, it's in the past, come back to the present moment, don't dwell in the past, and carry on practicing. Buddhism is about living mindfully in the present moment.

    ~~ To avoid feelings of guilt from creeping up on you, when you slip in a precept, just forgive yourself and move on. There is no divine entity somewhere in the heavens waiting to forgive you or punish you or reward you. You, like everyone else, deserve to be forgiven - don't you think!

    Live with ease, my friend. :)
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    "Proceed Clearly - Do not cloud the Mind".

    Guilt is as much a negative mind-clouder as anything I could mention.
  • fivebellsfivebells Veteran
    The sensations of guilt and inadequacy are useful. Open to the experience of them in your practice.
  • revkusalarevkusala
    edited January 2011
    As Sukhita said, the precepts are guidance, many of us here in the west are accustomed to fundamental religions. its engrained in our thinking to respond with aversion. with the vow that we take to "avoid killing...taking what is not given...avoid misconduct etc" one makes a choice to
    allow these precepts to cultivate a sensibility of the attraction, or revulsion in our being, and in our meditation practice. observe these energies as a way to establish mindfulness,and to cultivate attention, not as laws against the body. best wishes
  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
    Can we keep the precepts? No.
    Do we vow to keep them? Yes.
    Fall down seven times, get up eight.
    Success and failure are not the point. The point is to practice ... and keep on practicing.
  • DaltheJigsawDaltheJigsaw Mountain View Veteran
    Can we keep the precepts? No.
    Do we vow to keep them? Yes.
    Fall down seven times, get up eight.
    Success and failure are not the point. The point is to practice ... and keep on practicing.
    Exactly!:)
  • zenffzenff Veteran
    edited January 2011
    Can we keep the precepts? No.
    Do we vow to keep them? Yes.
    Fall down seven times, get up eight.
    Success and failure are not the point. The point is to practice ... and keep on practicing.
    The same "logic" applies to the bodhisattva vows.

    “Sentient beings are numberless, I vow to save them.
    Desires are inexhaustible, I vow to put an end to them.
    The Dharmas are boundless, I vow to master them.
    The Buddha-way is unsurpassable, I vow to attain it.”

    We vow to do what simply can not be done.

  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    Bag the guilt. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and begin again, without the negative tape playing in your mind. And maybe examine what the obstacles might be to your keeping this or that precept, and work on removing them.
  • CloudCloud Veteran
    @pain, I disagree with everyone, just to be different. :) hahaha

    But seriously, guilt is just shame that you carry. Having a sense of shame in breaking the precepts is good. It means your mind knows that you're doing something wrong. Don't go overboard with it, but it seems like a good thing if not carried too far. Think of it like Vipassana, where every time your mind wanders and you bring it back, you strengthen your focus. Each time you experience such guilt, or break a precept and are ashamed, the less likely you will be to do so in the future.

    For what it's worth, of course.

    Namaste
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