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What is the best way to maintain a positive and happy outlook in our day to day lives?
Comments
You want to maintain a positive and happy outlook it seems.
However, there's this concept of ourselves that we claim to be which seems to always struggle with reality: I am sad, I am happy, I want this, I want that, this shouldn't be happening. So therefore, meditate and see that those are just thoughts and not you. When it's seen that those are just thoughts, reality is reflected clearly. So reality is experienced as it is. In my experience, when this is seen appropriate actions are taken... intelligence increases, concentration increases, compassion increases, decision making skills are sound and consequently happiness arises too.
My answer would be let go of trying to be happy or trying to be not happy. Just be. The happiness will find you.
"I am soooooooo happy - How on EARTH could I be otherwise?"
It may come as a bit of a shock to many, but being happy - is a choice.
It simply comes down to something I used to think to myself most days:
"Do I have anything today to be truly Happy about?
do I have anything today to be truly miserable about?"
If the answer's 'no' to both, it's best to be happy for no reason, than miserable for no reason.
If you have worrying situations, then really, worrying and fretting won't solve them. Logical constructive action solves problems, not worrying about them.
The saying goes:
If you have a problem, and there IS a solution - there's no point worrying about it.
If you have a problem and there is NOT a solution - there's no use worrying about it.
Approach matters when they present themselves to you and require immediate attention.
Until they do, lay them aside and do not consider them.
When they present themselves, consider the most practical, functional and expedient way of dealing with the matter, and deal with it.
After you have given them your attention - lay them aside and do not consider them.
I guess you could say I learnt much of this before I committed to a Buddhist path - and then discovered that most of it was echoed in what I learnt in Buddhism.
It's sound, to my way of thinking, so really, the source is immaterial.
But if it works, it little matters what the source is. Implementing it is what counts...
In practice, happy and sad are a choice ... although to begin with we assume that happy and sad are a result of something outside our control. But with practice, the choice becomes clearer. So we practice being happy/positive/smilie-faced. And a little at a time, the habit begins to take.
However, this habit is like any other habit ... something to get to the bottom of. Who wants to run around all day with an idiotic grin, sweating and straining to make nice. Life unfolds in its own time and way and, "just because we are indispensable to the universe does not mean the universe needs our help." So we practice, using attention and responsibility, and with an occasional contrived grin.
And our practice of attention and responsibility teaches us at a level that precedes contrivance. As Martin Luther King once observed approximately, "It's not what's wrong with the world that scares people. What really scares them is that everything is all right."
Making an effort; going a little bit out of your way if you see there's some help that could be offered or simply to cheer somebodys day by being attentive and perhaps saying a kind word.
Taking responsibility for yourselves and others.
Surviving another day and being appreciative if you managed to face the day.
Sort of makes it easier for people to feel confident and comfortable with you. It has a knock on effect. If people don't like you for what you do or say, they will at least not be disturbed by the way you are, and the ones that perhaps feel alone or unappreciated will not feel this way momentarily.
Let's go back to the wild and wooly world of the 80s. The corporate world discovered Dr. Norman Peale's book and fell in love with the motivational industry's promise that preaching the power of positive thinking would create miracles. Unfortunately, a teaching designed to make people afraid of negative thoughts resulted in a compliant, noncritical workforce willing to do whatever the boss wants or be branded as nonpositive. Enron's workers thought only positive thoughts right up to the time it exploded, leaving them all out of work.
Do not be afraid of negative thoughts or think there's something wrong with you, if you're not happy all the time. Just make sure the negative and positive are in balance. Don't focus on one or the other. Life needs some caution, along with some risk.
If you get a shot of a feeling happiness or pleasure (and are not at the wheel of a car) close your eyes and let that feeling persist for as long as possible until it fades.
If you get mad or happy from something which happens to you say out loud, "May all sentient creatures in all universes [experience or not experience] what I just went thru."
Works for me.