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Complete Change
I'm not sure why, but I figured this site would be the best group of people to post this about. It's nothing really to do with Buddhism, and it's not really a question of any sort, but just something I've been thinking about, and I don't really know anyone anymore that I can discuss things with...so I must turn to the internet. That is a sad state of affairs, but, that's the deal.
Over the last couple weeks I've kind of had an epiphany. I dunno if it's good or bad. I'm in a program to get an A.S. in Information Systems Technology. I'm having trouble with some of the math and stuff, but, I will finish my degree, I have to, I'll feel like a failure if I don't and I really want to do it - for myself. But, my problem is.
As some of you may know, I like making films. I haven't done anything big, or anything earth-shattering, or maybe even anything thought provoking. But I feel like it's what I should do, like that I need to make films. I hear music, or I'm walking around and I see something a scene starts to form in my head and I think if I had a camera, I could turn this into a movie. I'm okay at writing up simple scripts or making up ideas, but it's really about putting together everything I see and hear.
So anyway, my internal question is, what do I do with my life? I have meddled with the idea of starting my own tech business, and I thought I had a passion to do that, maybe I do and I'm just not ready for it. But I can't make movies for a living, I always thought of this as something I toy around with, I bought a cheap camera to make little movies and I have a website for it.
Now Linc and I have started making this show, and my friend Mike and I have actually begun writing a new movie that will be 20-30min long. This is another thing I HAVE to follow through on, I really want to do it. I guess I'm starting to think of myself as an artist. I want people to see my art, I want to make something to make people think, or even to just make them laugh, I want to like make my contribution, as it would be.
But then I think well that's not going to pay the bills, that's foolish and you can do that in your free time. But it always seems that I don't have enough free time to accomplish what I really want to make.
Pardon the rant here, it's just something that's been on my mind, I almost feel like that it's my 'calling' or something
But who knows. I'm only 19, I'm just wondering where I should go with my life, and I'm not really sure that what I thought I should do for a career is going to make me happy and really make me feel accomplished, and without that, what's the point to all of it?
Over the last couple weeks I've kind of had an epiphany. I dunno if it's good or bad. I'm in a program to get an A.S. in Information Systems Technology. I'm having trouble with some of the math and stuff, but, I will finish my degree, I have to, I'll feel like a failure if I don't and I really want to do it - for myself. But, my problem is.
As some of you may know, I like making films. I haven't done anything big, or anything earth-shattering, or maybe even anything thought provoking. But I feel like it's what I should do, like that I need to make films. I hear music, or I'm walking around and I see something a scene starts to form in my head and I think if I had a camera, I could turn this into a movie. I'm okay at writing up simple scripts or making up ideas, but it's really about putting together everything I see and hear.
So anyway, my internal question is, what do I do with my life? I have meddled with the idea of starting my own tech business, and I thought I had a passion to do that, maybe I do and I'm just not ready for it. But I can't make movies for a living, I always thought of this as something I toy around with, I bought a cheap camera to make little movies and I have a website for it.
Now Linc and I have started making this show, and my friend Mike and I have actually begun writing a new movie that will be 20-30min long. This is another thing I HAVE to follow through on, I really want to do it. I guess I'm starting to think of myself as an artist. I want people to see my art, I want to make something to make people think, or even to just make them laugh, I want to like make my contribution, as it would be.
But then I think well that's not going to pay the bills, that's foolish and you can do that in your free time. But it always seems that I don't have enough free time to accomplish what I really want to make.
Pardon the rant here, it's just something that's been on my mind, I almost feel like that it's my 'calling' or something
But who knows. I'm only 19, I'm just wondering where I should go with my life, and I'm not really sure that what I thought I should do for a career is going to make me happy and really make me feel accomplished, and without that, what's the point to all of it? 0
Comments
If there's anyone out there who will encourage you to follow your dreams, no matter the cost, it's me. DO NOT FALL INTO THE TRAP that you "must have a good job blah blah blah this and that". "That's not going to pay the bills"? Pfffff. What's the goal then? To get a "good" job that pays the bills, so you can buy expensive stuff that creates more bills and then you have to work harder to pay those bills and see the people you love and do the things that you love less often because you're always working? Fuck that mess. Look around you. Look around at the people who have "good jobs".. Are they happy?
I was the kid in my family (from my generation) that everyone had "high hopes" for. I was "smart". I knew computers. I had to go to college! To get a good job!
So I played that game. I went to college (spending my own money of course since my family was pretty poor). I went for a semester, and then decided to stop going to focus on starting my business.
My parents gave me hell about dropping out. They gave me hell about starting my own business. NOBODY in my family supported me. Sometimes I had to borrow money from family members, but everybody sure let me know how pathetic I seemed. They sure let me know that I wasn't living up to their expectations. Every time I ever had to borrow money, with it came all kinds of hateful and spiteful comments "You don't have a pot to piss in" "You are screwing up bad. You have a family to support" blah blah blah.
Not once did anybody in my family say "here. I believe in you. You have a dream, you should follow it, and I will help you when you need it to support that dream."
So Cameron, I am here to say to you:
I believe in you. You should, under any circumstances, stick to your dreams. DO WHAT YOU LOVE, and you will be happy. I promise you that if you don't follow your dream you will regret it for the rest of your life. The fulfillment that will come when you step back and realize that you are doing the thing that you love is priceless.
Time for a counterpoint!
You Can Get a Job With Any Major
By Kate Lorenz, CareerBuilder.com Editor
What do these people have in common: Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan, comedian and actor Steve Martin and former Attorney General Janet Reno?
None of these highly successful people ended up pursuing a career relative to their college major. Reno was a chemistry major, Greenspan studied music and Martin earned a degree in philosophy.
How can you expect to map your entire life with a college major when, according to the U.S. Department of Labor, the average person changes careers three times?
And, in search of the perfect course of study, 75 percent of students change majors at least once during their college years, according to Randy Miller, chairman of student counseling Web site Readyminds.
Don't worry. The biggest secret in career development is that you can get a job with any major, according to Donald Asher, career consultant and author of "How To Get Any Job With Any Major" (Ten Speed Press). Asher says that even though all majors may not supply equal preparation for all jobs, no job is out of reach simply because of your major.
You have more options than you think. Many students have tunnel vision when it comes to choosing their major - they pick their major on the assumption it's the only fast track to their lucrative dream job. Problem is, they might hate that major, do badly in it and subsequently rule out a career they might have been great at.
Employers do look at your major when considering your application, mainly because your major helps the employer determine the skills you'd bring to the organization. But other factors, especially your relevant experience, play a big role. [snip]
end
I have another friend who came into college as an IT major. Didn't give a shit about it really; he was just kinda hanging in there. Then he was in the right place at the right time and got bumped to work in our digital video department (which is student run) and take over as manager a semester later. Now he's going to have the most ridiculous DV resume ever and changed his major to Digital Media. He's running video projects you wouldn't believe, including the creation of the next major promotional campaign video for the college, and has his own staff and $10K+ budget to manage.
My point to all this is that college gives you a ridiculous amount of options if you're looking for them, and you could end up finding something cooler than you can think of now.
One nice aspect of our education system is that anyone can go back to school at anytime. So you shouldn't feel like the descision you make now is going to the the end descision for the rest of your life. You've got plenty of time to see what you like best and if that means going to college a few years down the road after trying something different, then so be it.
Don't fret, you'll figure it out
George Eliot
(And excuse me if I sound patronising, but just in case you didn't know, George Eliot is a 'she'.)
Heck, I'm 48 and I still don't know what to do with my life......
The point is, (and I'm not belittling you,) you are still young enough to go with the shopping cart.... don't fret so much about what you feel you should be doing, or what you feel in a hurry to achieve. Try to relax and see what Life drops in your lap. I know a lady who studied for seven years for her Law degree (we're talking the U.K. here) and she took her final exams, passed with flying colours,and then decided to take a years' sabbatical before taking the exam which would have 'called her to the Bar'. She travelled, visited Egypt, managed to join an archaelogical dig - and promptly changed careers - !! her family was stunned, but she really had stumbled upon her 'calling' by accident!
You may believe that film making is what your destiny holds. Good. But don't fall into the trap of being blinkered to anything else. With all that Modern Life has to offer, what a truly sensational smorgarsbord you have before you - !!
I agree with what Brian said. Follow your dreams and be happy; I relate to what Brian said because I also went to college to "Get a good job and make money" at first. What a load of bull! I am utilizing my degree which happens to be in Business Administration since I am self-employed and I really like it because I am my own boss and not someone else's gopher. In my particular case, my major helped because it gave me the necessary background to start my own business. I am not rich but I make enough and I am happy with that. I also have the time to pursue other interests which are necessary to me in order to grow and learn. I started college in my forties, earning my associate's degree and my bachelors at the age of 48. I just turned 48 last April 13th and in May I will graduate with my bachelor's degree. But please remember these things are what I wanted to do; I never got to go to college when I was younger because it was not an affordable option open to me or my parents. What you want to do, well, I think it's great! Please know that I support you and encourage you every step of the way.
Adiana
to the young 19 year old.. you go get what you dream of..
like brian said..
pay the bills? keep up with the jones?
big fat NO
you put your marbles in one hat and fly..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FOLLOW YOUR HEART............ NOT WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN CONDITIONED TO DO.
AND............
LET US NO HOW YOUR JOURNEY IS GOIN..
colleen
Decide on a career, one you think can support you today, and get the best education required for that specific field. Buddha did the starving artist thing...remember?
I do believe that things change - like when you having children. Now, you are not only responsible for your welfare, but for the welfare of those little guys that are depending on you.
But, even that shouldn't diminish your dreams.
I would love to do music. I "do" it - but would love for it to be on a larger scale.
I think we have to remember that sometimes, pursuing our dreams is not an easy path. Sometimes, you will have to recognize that it takes a lot of effort and you just have to come to terms with how much you are willing to do to persue that dream.
But... at 19!?!?!!? You have the whole world open to you.
I'd say, "Go for it."
-bf
Thought I'd contribute a little.
I'm 38.
I went to school to acheive a certificate (diploma) in Radio Technology-I loved Short-wave radio Listening and I was an avid CB'er (the Internet of the seventies haha).
So I learned all the high-tech subjects like Maths Physics Chemistry, Science Technical drawing, English which I excelled in and, of all things an elective, ART.
I was also interested in extra-curricular activities such as two Dimensional Art and Design-so I went to night school to study that. LOVED IT!
I went to Military College and learned sh** like Radio Technology and Electronics woohoo I had attained my goal...I spent the next 6 years repaying my debt back to the AirForce for their training. (YAWN).
In the back of my mind I really wanted to do something "Artistic" but still needed to pay bills and survive.
for many years now I have pursued all fields of electronics from repair to teaching people how to repair electronics. I'm an Instructor now.
About four years ago, I decided to take a leap and do something that combined the good English skills with something artistic and even some technical aspect (all interests of mine).
So I decided I'd learn how to write for real!
I thought I'd try to write about something technical/artistic I thought, Photography! well the first three articles I submitted to Australian Photography Magazine-were accepted! P.S. I never officially studied Photography in my life!
Today I received my confirmation of passing my Writer's course-next week I get my certificate!
The moral of the story is, get a job that can allow you to pay for your real interests (film, cameras, sets, lighting, studios etc.) then when you pay off a substantial portion of your debts and bills or own your own home-GO FOR IT! This is what I do. It worked for me.
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! but get yourself some working capital.
This is the heart of it, isn't it?
The sad truth is that we are not made happy by a career, but we can make any career a source of happiness.
Although I am at an age where 'career' is no longer a criterion, there are still choices to be made. One test that I have found useful is to ask myself: "When I lie dying, which choice will I be pleased that I took?" Because, despite you're only being 19 years towards heaven, you will die.
The paths of glory lead but to the grave.
As Don Juan says to Carlos Castenada, all paths lead nowhere so it is important to choose a path "with a heart for you".
Brigid
Oh by the way, I struggled for years to make "the dollars to live comfortably" and to enjoy some luxuries, but in doing this it nearly ruined my life, health, marriage etc.
Just don't fall into the spiral downwards in the pursuit of some ego-derived goal that says a man (or woman) needs to get a career to feel good, or get others to feel good. Trust me it doesn't work.
I think the Buddha said, and I'm really sh** at quoting Buddha or others, as Brigid will attest to, he said, "Take the middle path."
Or you could look at doing a number of different things that meets your current interests and needs. Then one day you will get to your 38th birthday and realise you will be 40 very soon and what have I got to show for it.
Then you will think, Oh f**k I wish I'd became a lawyer.
Enjoy the trip.
HH
PS. If you become a crap lawyer you run the risk of then becoming some arse wipe of a politician.
*moves away, avoids eye contact...*
Simon - maybe peyote should go in the Favorite Meatless Dishes...
-bf