Spending too much time online.

thewalkindude

Recently i have noticed how much time i spend online. I spend most of the time when im not working browsing through random web pages or one any of the forums i am a member of. There are plenty of other things i guess i could do but i dont feel like doing them. I think it may be because i dont socialize enough in real life so i do it online to get my social "fix". Anyone have some advice on what i should do?

compassionate_warrior

Get out and about. Find someplace where you're comfortable hanging out, that's also good for meeting people. Take a book along if you need something to do there. Take walks. Be active. Attend lectures. The possibilities are endless. That said, I, too, have found that I've been spending too much time online, specifically on this forum. Being mindful of the time you spend online is the first step to doing something about it. Sitting in front of the computer for hours/day isn't part of a balanced life (those with physical or other limitations can be excepted), a middle way.

laurajean

I have mixed emotions on this. On one hand, I too, spend a lot of time at my computer. There are other things I can be doing. However, I still manage to get my responsibilities accomplished, so nothing is suffering or neglected as a result of my computer use. Also, I use my computer for Buddhism learning and sharing, and genealogy research, both of which are productive.

If you're sitting around playing Farmville (or whatever that Facebook game is) all day, that's another thing. But I don't see much wrong with PRODUCTIVE computer use, as long as you aren't neglecting things.

If you ARE neglecting things, then I would simply set a timer. "I can spend 2 hours online, and then back to chores" type thing.

Just my thoughts.

DaltheJigsaw

I am with you.
I got those smart phones now and boy I don't even now..
Lol.
I guess time limit is necessary.

Dazzle

My personal opinion is that the internet can be very addictive. It shouldn't become a substitute for offline life unless one has physical disability - and even then I don't think its healthy to be glued to it 24/7.

As Laurajean has said, rationing ones time and using a timer alarm could be a good alternative.

pineblossom

I see nothing wrong with the internet. In fact, I see many positive effects. I would not have been having this conversation five years ago.

We live in a information age. Most of that information is now being transferred to the internet. So I see nothing wrong with being on the internet. It's a bit like telling your child that they should not spend so much time in the library. If only I had spent more time in the library as a child.

The internet allows us to cover great distances. I live in an isolated pocket in a very parochial part of Australia. If it was not for the net I would end up like the rest of the town - narrow minded and bigoted.

We are 'socializing'. In fact I would rather 'socialize' with my friends on the net than being forced to confront the 'How's the weather' conversation when I go to town. In that respect, I leave my 'socializing' to the time I visit my Buddhist Centre. At least I engage in meaningful conversation.

compassionate_warrior

Pineblossom, I think you've pointed out a very useful side of the internet--to remedy geographical isolation (not to mention the social isolation people feel when they're not in sync with their community). Different strokes for different folks and different circumstances. But for people like our OP, who, it sounds like, lives where there are opportunities to socialize in real life, the internet can become somewhat of a compulsion. It's up to everyone to figure out how much is too much, where to draw the line.

Epicurus

I too sometimes feel the internet is hindering my growth. Spend too much time "learning" and too few practicing or actinf. It's been like this for the last 15 years though... :P

thewalkindude

Yeah i have learned so much through the internet and its addicting knowing that all the knowledge is at your fingertips.

I live in the country where the nearest town is about 15 minutes away. Nothing to do there. And the larger ones are about 25 minutes but nothing all that interesting.

Roger

Ya know what? I'm starting to think select internet communities are just fine. Your mind is active, not passively reading. Not TV. You're helping people who raise issues they are wondering about. Just make sure people are positive (like here for example) people are generally caring and helpful. Help them back and feel like your time was well spent.

Some groups are negative, have pecking orders and resident bullies which can be soooo discouraging. Some are downright scary, sickening and DEFINITELY you can spend too much time there (like anything longer than three minutes) since they reveal the depths of ignorance, prejudice and hatred.

That said, hanging out with people in person is a muuuuuuch better way, a much more natural way, more stimulating-to-the-whole-brain way, to get the endorphins to flow and keep you healthy.

Mr_Serenity

Interacting on the internet and interacting face to face are completely different. Face to face interaction is much more challenging, because you don't have as much time to think about your thoughts, so it is much more stimulating to your brain and to your social intelligence.

Of course by socializing face to face you also build much needed local groups of friends, and acquaintances. So while internet is useful for many things, getting outside and building yourself locally perhaps is even more useful. Meetup.com is a great tool to find local meetups of your interest and meet like minded people.

Sage

Recently i have noticed how much time i spend online. I spend most of the time when im not working browsing through random web pages or one any of the forums i am a member of. There are plenty of other things i guess i could do but i dont feel like doing them. I think it may be because i dont socialize enough in real life so i do it online to get my social "fix". Anyone have some advice on what i should do?

Join a gym, take yoga or ... any group of interest. I have the same problem. I start yoga and zazen meditation soon.

Thao

It is interesting how it seemed to always be okay to read books or watch TV, but researching on the computer produces guilt, whereas spending all day in a library doesn't. Still, I try to balance my time on the internet but like you I don't socialize enough in real life, and I have no Buddhist friends or anyone in the community where I live that is Buddhist. So I tend to come to the forums.

pineblossom, I feel just as isolated in this Ozark town of Oklahoma where most people are fundamentalist Christians and far right Republicans. I am told that I am the only Buddhist here. It isn't easy. If it were not for the internet and Buddhist forums my only contact would be with my teacher, via email. I need more than that.

I think the waste of time comes when you are not getting things done that you should be getting done, with me it is house work or gardening. Or you are on a game or virtual reality like second life. I know someone who is addicted to second life and now her husband does the shopping, etc. but that is her social life, and it is just as real to her as real life, so i can't knock it, can I? Except to say that i wish she had a real life that was just as rewarding.

Me, I allow myself one to two hours in the morning, and then I do other things, and sometimes I come back to read the messages. But it just means being aware of the time you are on the computer and then getting off. Of course, I can spend all day in a used book store and not feel guilty, but I would it if were done daily.

pineblossom

I need more than that.

No - you would 'like' more contact - you don't 'need' more contact.

From The Wheel of Sharp Weapons.

'And thus Bodhisattvas are likened to peacocks:
They live on delusions poisonous plants.
Transforming them into the essence of practice,
They thrive the jungle of everyday life.
Whatever is presented they always accept
While destroying the poison of clinging desire.'

The 'brave ones' are the bodhisattavs who turn the poison of the world into the path.

GuyC

Hi Walkindude,

I recommend periodically taking a break from the computer. maybe just once or twice a year, decide to take a few days away from the cyber world. It might seem weird at first because it is such a common thing for you to do, but its worthwhile to get some perspective...after today I might take my own advice...take 2 days off the computer. See you on Friday (maybe)...maybe I will enjoy being offline so long that I won't come back!

Metta,

Guy