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Introducing Buddhism to Family
MindGate
United States Veteran
So, tomorrow, I am going to my grandma's birthday party. I rarely see my extended family, but this is the very rare occasion that I do (on my grandmas birthday, or sometimes a Christmas party or something). So, recently my mom told my BAT SHIT CRAZY mega-Christian aunt that I was a Buddhist. Mom told me that all she said was, "I want to have a talk with him!"
So, tomorrow I will have to talk to my family about my Buddhism. How do I tell them about Buddhism, and/or explain to them why I don't believe in Christianity any more, in a respectful, yet truthful way?
So, tomorrow I will have to talk to my family about my Buddhism. How do I tell them about Buddhism, and/or explain to them why I don't believe in Christianity any more, in a respectful, yet truthful way?
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Comments
you can only speak their language. so you can talk about buddhist concepts through christian concepts.
karma: reap what you sow.
compassion: what jesus talked about.
stuff like that. don't label yourself a buddhist either. it's a label/identification anyways. you're not truly a buddhist. we're not truly anything. have fun btw.
just do good actions and be a good buddhist. don't even talk about it.
be an example of what you've learned instead of teaching them something they probably don't care about.
best advice ever. but who knows they might be interested.
(1) Buddhism teaches about the things in life that cause suffering; &
(2) the things that cause happiness
for example, hatred, anger, intolerance & attachment cause suffering to oneself & others. hatred, anger, intolerance & attachment sets one's heart on fire
love, compassion, kindness, forgiveness, tolerance, patience, gratitude, non-harming etc, cause happiness. these thing bring calmness & peace and I wish to develop a life of calmness, well-being & peace
whatever you do, please do not tell them you believe in reincarnation & worshipping gold buddha statues and Tibetan deities
:hair:
:mullet:
1. avoiding harm
2. cultivating goodness & skill
3. purifying the mind
these three are the teaching of all Buddhas
Well, to be honest, I don't personally feel as though Christianity really worked for me. I don't see how its any more true than any other faith-based religion. Buddhism explains a lot more to me and made more sense to me logically, but you can believe whatever you want - Buddhism sees nothing terribly wrong with Christianity. I'm not out to seek converts, just to be happy and make people happy. And in a nutshell: Avoid harm, cultivate goodness, and purify the mind.
:rarr:
Just repeat as often as is necessary:
,
"You have something that works for you.
It didn't float my boat.
I have something that works for me.
it doesn't float your boat.
Let's agree to differ. "
Smile, and walk away.
Really.
After a while, they throw their hands up in despair that "you just don't get it/won't listen."
Don't be tempted to tell them that you feel that way too.
Just smile, be gentle, radiate loving kindness and compassion.
As Lucy in 'Peanuts' is apt to say:
"Smile lovingly at everyone you meet today.
It will drive them crazy."
That aunt of yours is probably very attached to her beliefs and if she even gets a hint of you not agreeing with them, she will take it as an attack directed at her personally and will start to defend, what is part of her.
You don't need to prove anyone anything. Even tho it's very understandable, that you would like them to understand you. But I don't think that's possible with people, who are very attached to their beliefs. At least not by giving an ordinary explanation of what Buddhism is. In that state of mind she will not really listen to you, whatever you say.
Probably easiest is to just nod and agree with whatever they say.
Most important is to be a "Buddhist" in your actions, not your words (that can of course also mean "right speech" (which can often mean staying silent)).
The best response is as federica has just shown.
How about something like this, ive tried all me life to be a good person, and for some reason christianity didn't help me do this, even though jesus obviously tried to help a lot of people, it didn't work for me, just like christianity, buddhism is about helping people, love and compassion, etc but it explains it in a way I can understand better, and benefit from.
If you explain your desire to follow buddhism is a result of trying to follow right action, trying to be a better person, just like jesus taught, you may have less trouble, than if you try to present some sort of war between buddhism and christianity.
If you can say i'm still a christian in the sense that I respect what jesus had to say, then do so. I still say that to some of my christian friends even though i am clear to tell them I am a buddhist now. i'm not saying claim to be both a buddhist and a christian at the same time, although i don't see why you couldn't follow both religions at the same time if you sincerely wanted to.
If you're not interested in being a good person and living a good life, then I can't help you, and i wouldn't think buddhism would be good for you either, buddhism is very much a discipline of right living, right action, right thinking, and right speech, much like christianity but very different as well.
i let you in on a little trick, just say the buddha lived 500yrs before jesus, and had never heard of the jews or their god, and yet he came up with this wonderful religion thats very good for people, this immediately deflates people calling the buddha a demon by christian standards because every christian knows in the time of the buddha, the jews were very bad christians, and you can't possibly judge someone by what someone said 500yrs later,
when i went through a muslim phase and talked about the buddha to muslims they were perfectly willing to accept that the buddha may have been a prophet just like moses, jesus, and mohammed, so if muslims are that open minded about the buddha, i don't see why christians can't be, its just a matter of how you present your case, good luck, it may not be easy!!!
A couple of things to remember, perhaps: 1. If you and I go to a restaurant and I order spaghetti while you order fish, neither one of us berates or nags the other about what a bad choice s/he has made. We eat. We are nourished. We enjoy each other's company. 2. People prefer beliefs to facts. No matter what the protestations, facts take a back seat to beliefs. Christians, Buddhists -- check it out. But the encouragements that belief can offer only reach so far. Beliefs rely on the past where human beings exist in the present. This means that belief, by its very nature, relies on doubt. The stronger the belief, the stronger the doubt. 3. There is nothing saying that because you are a Buddhist you are therefore a doormat. On the other hand, it also does not imply you need to be a crusader. You just ordered the fish where I just ordered the spaghetti.
Well ... too much talk. I hope things go/went well. And if they didn't, just give it a little time. People's opinions and their beliefs tend to lose their ferocious sincerity over time. And if not, well ... whose problem is that?