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What do you call a Buddhist who....

hermitwinhermitwin Veteran
edited March 2011 in General Banter
What do you call a Buddhist who works at a slaughterhouse,
steals from the company,
drinks beer, has an affair with the neighbor's wife
and lies about it?
But practises meditation 1 hour, twice a day.

Comments

  • taiyakitaiyaki Veteran
    buddha in drag
  • andyrobynandyrobyn Veteran
    One that isn't travelling too well
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    a 5-precept-Terminator.

    He won't be back.
  • hermitwinhermitwin Veteran
    Astara Vista , fed.
    pardon my spanish.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    What Spanish....? :p
  • CloudCloud Veteran
    A "meditator" would be a better label than "Buddhist" in that case.
  • formermonkJohnformermonkJohn
    a meditationist, not a buddhist, or just plain a really bad buddhist, i mean saddam hussein was a muslim i guess, he even had a special koran printed with ink mixed with his own blood, no kidding, saw that on the news.....
  • formermonkJohnformermonkJohn
    how about a person that definetly doesn't get the point of meditation!!
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    a meditationist, not a buddhist, or just plain a really bad buddhist, i mean saddam hussein was a muslim i guess, he even had a special koran printed with ink mixed with his own blood, no kidding, saw that on the news.....
    So it must be true.....

    :lol:
  • taiyakitaiyaki Veteran
    the story takes place at the time when shakyamuni buddha lived in india. it tells of a man whose regular job, his daily job, was killing cows. every day, a cow would come in front of him, he would hit it on the head with a hammer, and the cow would cry out "mooo" and die. the man did not like this job, because he was a follower of the buddhist teaching. but at that time in india, with its caste system, it was not possible to change jobs. in the caste system there were priests, the brahmans, who were in the highest class. then there were the kings and the warriors, then the merchants, and then the people who had the lowest-class jobs, like hitting cows on the head and killing them. this man talked to his parents about this situation. they said, no, it would not be possible for him to change his job. so he kept doing it. one day shariputra--one of the buddha's main disciples, who had completely attained the essence of the sutras that deal with emptiness--came walking by the slaughterhouse. this man said to shariputra, "the buddha and the precepts teach non-killing, but i have this job killing cows every day, so i am making a lot of bad karma. what should i do?

    shariputra asked, "who kills the cow?"
    the man said, "i kill the cow."
    shariputra then asked, "who are you?"
    the man said, "i don't know."
    and shariputra replied, "only keep this don't-know mind while you kill cows. then you won't make bad karma."

    after that, shariputra left and the man kept doing his job: pow! mooooo! pow! but the question, "who is killing the cow?" kept growing bigger and bigger. finally he was so consumed with the question that his guilt transmuted into a feeling of great perplexity, "who is killing the cow?" one day a cow came in front of him. pow! moooo! pow! when he heard that last pow! his mind opened and he got enlightenment. at that moment he could perceive, "i am one with the buddha! there is no birth, no death."
  • CloudCloud Veteran
    Great story!
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited March 2011
    He must have been in the zone when he killed cows. I was like that in basketball, which I was short player. Quick as lightning though.
  • formermonkJohnformermonkJohn
    good point federica it was on the national news but it might have just been american propaganda.
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    My dad told me that last month and I told him it would be a good plot for a videogame.
  • CinorjerCinorjer Veteran
    What do you call a Buddhist who works at a slaughterhouse,
    steals from the company,
    drinks beer, has an affair with the neighbor's wife
    and lies about it?
    But practises meditation 1 hour, twice a day.
    A Buddhist learning the hard way.



  • formermonkJohnformermonkJohn
    how about a buddhist that's not learning anything from buddhism!!
  • RogerRoger
    edited March 2011
    What do you call a Buddhist who works at a slaughterhouse,
    steals from the company,
    drinks beer, has an affair with the neighbor's wife
    and lies about it?
    But practises meditation 1 hour, twice a day.
    Going out on a limb here but, for the purposes of creating a mind-bending punchline, I'm going to say:

    A Buddhist who is on the path to Enlightenment? Shocked

    You know..., infinite lifetimes..., gotta get there sooner or later if he keeps up with the meditation thing.





  • CinorjerCinorjer Veteran
    What do you call a Buddhist who works at a slaughterhouse,
    steals from the company,
    drinks beer, has an affair with the neighbor's wife
    and lies about it?
    But practises meditation 1 hour, twice a day.
    Going out on a limb here but, for the purposes of creating a mind-bending punchline, I'm going to say:

    A Buddhist who is on the path to Enlightenment? Shocked

    You know..., infinite lifetimes..., gotta get there sooner or later if he keeps up with the meditation thing.
    Nailed it.
    :bowdown:
  • RogerRoger


    Nailed it.
    :bowdown:
    Nah!!!! Really? HAHA. OK if you say so. High Five

  • yimingyiming
    What do you call a Buddhist who works at a slaughterhouse,
    steals from the company,
    drinks beer, has an affair with the neighbor's wife
    and lies about it?
    But practises meditation 1 hour, twice a day.
    I would call him a normal everyday just-like-you Buddhist. Do you think you are any different? You are sharing the same reality with him and going through the same karmic hell, are you not? At least, he is not having a worse time living the life of a self-righteous, holier-than-thou hypocrite.

  • RogerRoger
    edited March 2011


    I would call him a normal everyday just-like-you Buddhist. Do you think you are any different?
    Yes. He's different from me. The lucky b*st*rd's having an affair with the neighbor's wife! Drooling Bouncy Smiley......Bouncy......Too Happy

  • zenffzenff Veteran
    What do you call a Buddhist who works at a slaughterhouse,
    steals from the company,
    drinks beer, has an affair with the neighbor's wife
    and lies about it?
    But practises meditation 1 hour, twice a day.
    A fool.

  • NomaDBuddhaNomaDBuddha Scalpel wielder :) Bucharest Veteran
    What do you call a Buddhist who works at a slaughterhouse,
    steals from the company,
    drinks beer, has an affair with the neighbor's wife
    and lies about it?
    But practises meditation 1 hour, twice a day.
    A drunk thief butcher who likes to have some fun, and at the end of the day deny it, ending it with a meditation session.

    Wait, I'm missin' something. Maybe this man can be a 'food quality control' inspector working at a slaughterhouse; he steals money from the company because he somehow ended up in the 'bad circle' of that slaughterhouse's management team. He enjoys drinking a bottle of bear, but doesn't exagerate. He has an affair with the neighbour's wife, becasue the woman wants to break up (badly) with her abbusive husband ( assuming our man is single), and lies about it becasue he doesn't want every one to know about the affair. He practices meditation twice a day, 1 hour sessions because he's a buddhist (right ?) who wants to practice the way of buddhism. :D:lol:
  • zenffzenff Veteran
    The case can be supplemented in various ways and it will look different every time.
    But basically it is foolish to harm others and it is certainly foolish to harm ourselves.
    It is foolish because it will not ever make us really happy.

    Buddhism has nothing to do with it – in a sense.
    A fool is just a fool.

    One way of supplementing the case is saying the person has seen through the illusion and is free in his heart.
    He is not harming people but he chooses to be with butchers, adulterers and drunks.
    He loves them and attempts helping them to see through the illusion for themselves.

    That would make him a Buddha in rags.

    But as always these are all just words and concepts.
    I’ll have a beer now.

    :p
  • zidanguszidangus Veteran
    edited March 2011
    Modifying a line from the life of brian you could say that (if its a he)
    "He's not a Buddhist, he's a very naughty boy !!"

    For those who have not seen the film



    Metta to all sentient beings

  • CinorjerCinorjer Veteran
    Ah, NomaD, we all must start where we are at. The question, "What do you call a Buddhist who..." is really a loaded question. What follows is almost irrelevent. If breaking the Precepts disqualifies any of us from being on the path to Enlightenment, then none of us can claim to be Buddhists.

    It's a matter of perspective. As is usually the case with questions in Buddhism, it's really not about the man in the story. It's about each of us.
  • NomaDBuddhaNomaDBuddha Scalpel wielder :) Bucharest Veteran
    @ Cinorjer.

    I was just joking. Now, the question could be formulated like: How do you call a Christian/Muslim/Hindu/Jewish/etc/ Human being who...works in a slaughter house, steals, drinks bear, 'effs' with his neighbour's wife and meditates twice a day ? The thing is, the answer to this question might be just 'A human being who lives his life according to his own will'. (I'll take some punches in the face for this one...) Why bother , in the buddhist-man context, call him either a fool for breaking the precepts or a buddha in his own 'land' ? He wants to live his life that way...so be it. I choose to call him..."Neica Nimeni" ( romanian for Mister Nobody', or in romanian slang " Average Joe").

  • buddhajunkiebuddhajunkie

    maybe he's not as bad as he would be if he didn't meditate...
  • formermonkJohnformermonkJohn
    maybe hes meditating for all the wrong reasons!
  • hermitwinhermitwin Veteran
    He was mindful to note every thought and sensation as he smashed the precepts.
  • still_learningstill_learning Veteran
    I say labels don't really matter. He's just a bad person.

    But if he wants to call himself a buddhist, it just means he's a very bad buddhist.
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