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How to balance out happiness with Career goals, money and time?
I am 23, a little behind on life, I'm a guitar teacher not working many hours... I was thinking about going back to school but so many things come into play:
-Do I want to spend 4-5 years getting a degree?
-If I worked another job would I move up and like the it just as much without spending time on the degree?
-If I don't go to school and have a low income job, what would that be like for a family?
I have the option to get a warehouse job possibly with my half brother, or perhaps go back to school. If I worked the warehouse job, maybe I could open up my own music school one day? It's so hard because there is no guarentee in that ofcourse... Basically to school or not to school? and what kind of money does a family need?
ty
-Do I want to spend 4-5 years getting a degree?
-If I worked another job would I move up and like the it just as much without spending time on the degree?
-If I don't go to school and have a low income job, what would that be like for a family?
I have the option to get a warehouse job possibly with my half brother, or perhaps go back to school. If I worked the warehouse job, maybe I could open up my own music school one day? It's so hard because there is no guarentee in that ofcourse... Basically to school or not to school? and what kind of money does a family need?
ty
0
Comments
Do it first and talk later about balance.
I did a degree in Philosophy because it was interesting. I have a low-paying part-time job as a Tour Guide because I love it. I'm financially poor but I have freedom and time to do what I want.
I do not have a family however, nor do I want to start one. That would change the equation completely, and you might have to put aside temporary happiness for career and money to provide for them.
In the end, you have to decide what direction you take in life, but remember one thing. Life laughs at our plans.
There are a lot of people with college degrees right now who are forced to work at low paying jobs, if they can even find a job. There are lots of miserable, divorced men who thought family was all about how much money you can spend on it.
But being broke and hungry is no fun, either. So try to practice the Middle Way. College is no guarantee, but an education is never a waste or useless. Don't put off a relationship until that magic moment when you have enough money to feel secure, but don't blow every dollar you get as soon as it's in your hand, either.
Remember, life isn't something out there waiting for you, it's what is happening right now.
the thing is i got into violin repair in the early 80s when it was a foolproof way to make money, and then the economy dived, the market was flooded with underpriced chinese imports, and classical music in schools, half the market, dissapeared.
and now because of my manic depressive disability, i can't hold a regular job and its too late to learn something else, thank xxx for ebay, its put good food on my plate, literally, the local market is dead.
if your young and looking intelligently to the future, thinking of a job, think of something that will never go out of style, no matter what the economy, like a firefighter or paramedic, expensive guitars in 20-30 yrs might be as out of style as violins are today, that was my point.
I think people are too quick to advise people to go to college. I myself have the same doubts, and people seem to always miss the point. Life is not about getting a job. Anyone can get a job. Getting a job you love, that's the tricky part...and how much does college help you in that department, in itself?
Just do what feels right to you. Go to college if you are unsure.
You can always quit college halfway.
You haven't even emerged from the first stage of life yet. Just because culture and governments tell you you are supposed to have graduated and be already on the rungs to corporate success doesn't mean anything. You have all the time in the world (and then some, if you believe in rebirth).
A few ramblings for your cogitation:
First, there is a level of material wealth below which happiness is hard if you have a family. Not many people in North America or what we call "The West" have experience of being below that level. *Above* that level, there is very little correlation between happiness/wellbeing/etc and how wealthy you are. So if you are going to have a family, get above that line but then your priorities become something else.
Second, surely this is where Buddhism comes into play? For me that's certainly why I'm looking into Buddhism. I was brought up not too far above the line, but am now *well* above it. And for me personally, and for everyone else I know and have discussed this with, I can say that height above the line does not correlate with happiness *at all*.
What else. Well, all that notwithstanding, is it possible to arrange things (as opposed to have them just happen) so as to have both wealth and happiness? Well, I *suspect* you can, but I'm not sure. And *if* you can, I suspect that the way to do it is not to aim at either. Do what you love, love what you do, and remember that people and relationships matter more than anything, and I *suspect* that maximizes your chances.
Some books to help your deliberations:
-"Let My People Go Surfing", by Yvonne Chouinard. That's the one that changed my interest-from-a-distance in Buddhism to something more concrete
- "The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything", by Ken Robinson. You can also watch him on www.ted.com
- "The Happiness Hypothesis" by Jonathan Haidt
Notice -- I haven't mentioned university degrees at all. I have two, so I don't knock them entirely. But honestly, these days they are mostly economic signals. A Harvard degree is a career-enhancing degree primarily because it's an expensive degree which is because it's a career-enhancing-degree which is because it's an expensive degree...
As I say, I don't knock them entirely. That career-enhancing effect is very real. But you don't need a degree to be happy or successful. And it may be that to be wildly happy and successful, you're better off *not* having one.
Buddha would say it doesn't matter in the end, that whatever you do, you're going to suffer and the Middle Way can be followed single or married or in college or standing on a street corner playing a guitar for change thrown at your feet.
The happiness, jealousy, anger, joy, bliss, sadness, depression, love..
We cling to questions and statements like: "Find your passion.." "Do what you love.." "What makes me happy?" "Am I living life right?"
Without even really giving a thought to the question: How do people find happiness in different things? How can one person LOVE to do math and another person absolutely despise math?
This raised the question in my mind that seems to be more relevant: Is happiness based on the external phenomena (people, things, places, your job, on and on..) OR is it simply a state of mind that we choose to cultivate regardless of the circumstances that we find ourselves in?
I found that if I meditate and simply see things as they are, happiness is cultivated by itself irrespective of the situation I may be in at that point in my life.
Honestly speaking, no one can tell you where to go. However, I will tell you that I was in a similar situation and seeing this helped. Hopefully my viewpoint sparked something.
Thank you!
Lesile
You might get lucky and get a job that moves you up. What do you have to offer an employer, that would convince him you're worth moving up? That's the question. And could you hack the responsibility for supervising other employees, if they moved you up? Could you discipline people?
What would it be like for a family? C'mon, Peace, you know the answer to that one. The more important question is: what would it be like for YOU? 20 years from now, still working the same grunt job, or one maybe a step or two up from entry level, bored out of your skull, but still putting in your time, 'cause you need to eat, can't retire--social security is worthless, so you just gotta keep putting in your time for ANOTHER 20 years, even though you hate it. Think about it.
And let us know what you decide.
That's advice on survival. How many people that survive and that based their most important life decisions on survival get to be happy in the end?
If one shouldn't waste the opportunity of a higher education maybe you could tell me what the criteria for picking a major should be.
But I agree, Epicurus, that too many people are sent to university just because the parents say it's the thing to do. Some people would be much better off learning a trade, and in fact, have real talent for working with their hands in some way.
Metta to all sentient beings
But actually for me, it goes beyond that. There are so many life paths that aren't imagined by an university curriculum. And so many majors that are worthless in the job market once you are out of school.
A niece of mine just graduated with a brilliant BA in international economics, or something, and she took off for Germany where she's working just a grunt sales job, but she likes being in Berlin.
Are we digressing from the OP? I can't tell.
at 21 i had my first child
at 29 i started college, part time
at 35 i finished my nursing degree
at 44 i started my MBA, part time
at 48 i finished my MBA
all along the way, i worked at jobs, took opportunities that i was interested in, paid for most of the classes as i went (both degrees took me twice as long as most people), and watched life surprise me as i used my degrees in ways that i could never have predicted nor planned for.
but both have been very useful in my career, and i never regret getting them. i also never regret waiting until it felt right, as you will notice that i did not do this in the traditional route.
i say follow your heart but don't go into debt for college, and it will only be of benefit to you in your future.
Would love to hear more!
I dont think so, not in my lifetime anyway.
Americans dont know how lucky they are.
Buddha would say, become a monk.
I just woke up and thought ok I'm in management - why am I still not happy?
Does terminating your contract help? How will you earn a living?