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Chronic/recurrent health problems and Buddhism
Does any of you have any chronic or recurrent health problems that make you life more difficult? How has Buddhism helped you with that?
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I also used to have general anxiety and had to take medications rather often for it, and that entirely went away. I think it was social anxiety, but now I can be in a crowd of people and feel at home. That's the important one I think.
In 2002, I had a back injury which caused my lumbar/sacral disc to explode in 3 directions.
it trapped my spinal cord and did irreparable damage to part of my sciatic nerve.
the result is now, that my lower left leg (the calf) is atrophied, I have partial paralysis of my left leg, and can no longer wear high heels.
I'm 4'10" and therefore petite.
I used to have trim legs and pretty ankles, and wearing high heels gave me height and elegance.
Now, both ankles are swollen and misshapen, because I keep twisting the left one (I can't feel where I put my foot, and sometimes, it just gives way) and my right ankle is entirely load-bearing, and has therefore amassed muscle and thickened tendons and ligaments.
So now, I can no longer wear pretty frocks or evening dresses, only trousers. I haven't worn a skirt or dress for 6 years. Apart from heavy winter stuff, that goes well with boots and ankle warmers, that is.
I'm a very feminine person, and I desperately miss being able to dress elegantly (there's only so much a lady can get away with, in flat shoes) and being able to look feminine.
This is the most dreadful aspect of attachment for me, and I feel frustrated with my own clinging.
What's more, I can still walk, I'm upright and it hasn't disabled me, so really, I should be grateful that the injury was not more debilitating.
It's a foolish and egotistical attachment, and one that is both vexing and frankly, ridiculous.
Yet it still makes me depressed at times.
Then again, I am perfectly aware in the society we live in these days. I just wish I had these problems when I was a bit older with kids and all that. My health problems have a history of not letting me enjoy my youth.
At 54, I really don't give a rat's ass about looking sexy.
What I do care about is that this injury has limited my movement and ability to wear appropriate clothes for appropriate occasions. It has seriously curtailed my own flexibility, and impacted on my social life.
For my part, sexiness doesn't come into it.
But now you mention it, I've never seen any pictures of women in flat shoes who wwere wearing gorgeous clothes, or underwear - and who looked sexy.
A sign of a woman's sexuality, is her ability to look good, right down to her feet.
Men perceive sexuality in a woman with high heels.
so, thanks, that's another factor I can be depressed about.
I also no longer look sexily appealing.
was on pretty hard core medication for them (which had unpleasant side effects).
Migraine are gone completely since my first Vipassana 10 days retreat.
Changed my life significantly.
Women love to dress up and look special for social functions, and look elegant and feel elegant. Women go to a lot of trouble to project an image of elegance and effort.
men - unless it's an official function like a gala evening or wedding, and there is a prescribed sartorial requirement - always wear the ubiquitous sweatshirt, jeans and sneakers.
go to a social high-spot on a Friday evening and just observe.....take a look at the difference in between the effort ladies have made, and the guys with them, have made.
Guys wear trousers. And sweatshirts. And sneakers.
all the time.
Women have a greater variation of outfits, and like to dress up.
A woman who's possibilities are curtailed or limited, feels like a portion of her self-expression has been silenced.
I don't buy it. I have actually very good levels of self-confidence.
Sexiness is something different altogether.
I know where im from (Quebec, Canada) is a culture that mostly put more value on the personality over physical appearance.
Which is a obvious difference with a culture like Korea, where plastic surgeries are more common than the common flu, and where all of the boys will line up in front of the girl that is the closest to the cultural ideal of beauty at a speed dating event, while completely ignoring every other girls.
Keeping this in mind may help put the inner conflict in perspective a bit.
Uhh anyway we're getting off topic, I'm done.
I think it boils down to what kind of values you're looking for in the opposite sex.
Oh, and to answer your OP, Epicurus, I had pretty serious chronic fatigue for years. I used Buddhist psychology to deal with it. "This too shall pass" (great opp'ty to develop patience, and this lasted over a decade!) was a mainstay. Even though I gained weight, it didn't affect my body image, really. I lost the weight quickly when I found the right diet. These things don't have to be a big deal if you don't let them.
REALLY sorry to hear about your back problems, Fed. It sorta seems like shoes are the least of your worries. How's your back now?
BTW, lots of men LOVE petite women!
Also health is just one of those basic needs that can make one relativize one's beliefs and practices a whole lot.
Anyways, just kind of blue since returning from the hospital. This too shall pass....I just hope it's not in a bitter way making me wish I had a life that never was...
:rolleyes:
1. Grounding the anxious tension
2. Overactive thinking
3. Attachment to what others think
When I was around 17 years old, I started thinking more and more about how I present myself to others, until it encompassed many aspects of my life and caused anxiety. Since then I've read a large amount of books on psychology, philosophy, and self-help, and though I respect the knowledge gained from them, nothing helps more than meditation. It helped me understand impermanence as well, which sparked my interest in Buddhism. I initially believed I was 'cured' from the anxiety because I achieved a blissful meditative state, though hastily realized the state was temporary. With meditating every day or two and taking a couple of supplements, I avoid the need for SSRIs and have a clearer thought process.
The dharma helps with directing and solidifying my identity. Though everything including identity is transient, 'who I am' is more clarified and I battle less with desiring to act a certain way.
And don't let depression get you. Just don't even allow it a toehold. During my years of illness, I was determined not to fall into that, so I found something to busy my mind with, something that really captured my interest and dedicated myself to that. You might have moments when you think, "When will this end?", but you just let it wash over you, recognizing it's just a temporary moment, and then you keep going.
I've had similar experiences on a smaller level, and even though I learned to be happy afterwards...there is still a sense of having wasted a lot of time and youth. My biggest fear has always been to have regrets....and I'm starting to have loads of regrets.
Anyway, thanks for the support message. I wish I had more faith in the happiness completely independent from external conditions.
Much better to be aware of how life really is, and to help people who are suffering, than to be self-serving for no good reason.