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I want to become a nun.

YacababyYacababy
edited March 2011 in General Banter
I feel that becoming a nun is what I am meant to do... But I have a loving relationships. Do I leave to peruse my dream? Also could anyone direct me to a good school/monastery... I have visited several but they were quite overwhelmed already with visitors.. Thank you.
With love, Jen

Comments

  • MindGateMindGate United States Veteran
    edited March 2011
    Zen monks/nuns can marry. :) Just saying.
  • nibbutinibbuti
    Hi Yacababy. If I were you I would try and see. Live by the 8 precepts for some time. 10 days at first, then 3 months and so on. If your partner loves you he or she will understand. When you lived by the 8 precepts for some time, your decision will not be based on a dream alone but also on experience. Good luck. :)
  • SherabDorjeSherabDorje
    There are plenty of threads here, including one or two current ones, about becoming a monk. I think those would serve your purpose to look at.
  • nibbutinibbuti
    Zen monks/nuns can marry. :) Just saying.
    Their path must be incredibly hard to go. :)
  • YacababyYacababy
    Thanks guys, the guy I am with is so dedicated and loving, I just would feel guilty potentially hurting him or influencing him to change his path.
  • nibbutinibbuti
    edited March 2011
    Thanks guys, the guy I am with is so dedicated and loving, I just would feel guilty potentially hurting him or influencing him to change his path.
    Everyone dear will go one day. Who knows. You might by leaving him speed up his own process along the path. Best to stay in the moment.
  • YacababyYacababy
    This is entirely true. I still have many years to think and to practice. I feel as though the gears are set in motion, thank you for your help.
  • hermitwinhermitwin Veteran
    Go for a 3day meditation retreat. You will know how a nun lives.
  • SabreSabre Veteran
    edited March 2011
    Dear Yacababy,

    I can relate to your emotions because I ran into quite the same issue. I had a strong urgency to become a monk and it is still there, but I decided to take it slow and first be a very devote lay. We are not alone because I've seen more of these threads coming up. Of course being a nun would be a wise decision if you want to devote your entire life to the dhamma, but lay life can also teach you us lot. You can even use your relation as an aid in your growth. Buddhism is about respect and love, you can also show this in your relationship.

    Maybe if the time comes you'll leave your partner, just like the Buddha did, but it is for you to find out when the time is right. In the meantime I'd suggest spending as much time as you can practicing the path as a lay person. And keep in mind nun's life is not easy. It is very hard. A lot of monks/nuns return to lay life after a while because they can't handle or for other reasons. In most monasteries you are welcome to practice without ordaining, so you might want to do this for a while.

    Remember, our minds always want to be somewhere we are not. When we are meditating we think about what we are going to have for diner tonight, when we are in the supermarket we wish we were back home meditating. When we have a relationship we wish we had more time for ourselves, and if we are alone we wish we had a loved one. When we are a lay person we want to ordain, when we have ordained we want to be lay persons again..

    "Rule" number 1: Life is suffering, wherever you go, you can't run away from it ;) Believe me, I tried, haha :D

    With metta and good luck,
    Sabre :)
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