be yourself

genkaku

Yesterday, I received a slightly-too-cute email that retailed some of the wisdom to be found in the cartoon "Peanuts." It was homey and it was warm and I sent it along to various friends, some of whom said thank you.

While I wasn't enthralled by it all, the punch line stuck with me because it struck me as a very Buddhist encouragement: "Be yourself. Everybody else is taken."

I can hear the groans from here ... be yourself ... how trite ... what self... etc.

But I think there is sometimes a tendency in Buddhist practice to imagine that everyone is supposed to turn out somehow the same -- cookie-cutter serene, compassionate at every turn, thoroughly-realized just like everyone else who is thoroughly-realized. Everyone who is anyone gets the same shiny halo and gets a name tag that says, "Hello, I am enlightened."

I think it is a good reminder: "Be yourself. Everybody else is taken." Trying to be like someone or something else is OK for children, but since most of us here are adults, however wobbly ... well Buddhism is not built for a prolonged childhood. Gautama, the patriarchs, and your favorite heroes and heroines are all wonderful and encouraging people. But ... well, everybody else is taken.

Practice. Be patient. Be constant. Be courageous. Exercise your doubt. Say "thank you" to your friends. And ... "Be yourself. Everybody else is taken."

Just noodling.

Yacababy

This post was in a way " too cute " I think it needed to be said not only for beginners but to remind the more seasoned Buddhists. Either way I found this post light hearted in a heavy world. Thanks it made my night. :clap:

Dakini

But I think there is sometimes a tendency in Buddhist practice to imagine that everyone is supposed to turn out somehow the same -- cookie-cutter serene, compassionate at every turn, thoroughly-realized just like everyone else who is thoroughly-realized. Everyone who is anyone gets the same shiny halo and gets a name tag that says, "Hello, I am enlightened."

This is why I avoid sanghas.

Paradox

Be your not-self. Anyone else is mistaken.

Cloud

I like it. Me, I think I'm more like myself the further away from myself that I find myself.

GuyC

Hi All,

This reminds me of Ajahn Chah's teaching about the baby crabs who learned to walk with a limp because that's how their mother walked. The limp here symbolizes a Dhamma teacher's idiosyncrasies which the students then mimic.

In my opinion "avoiding Sanghas" is just as much a potential hindrance as trying to be somebody else is. We should become a refuge for ourselves...but...sometimes other people have some useful advice, often things we do not see about ourselves. Why not be open to the wisdom of others?

Unless we have amazing parami's then we will probably need the help of a Sangha. Even the Buddha-to-be trained under other teachers and practiced with other ascetics before he reached Enlightenment.

Instead, I think it is wise to make use of the resources we have (people, books, internet, etc.) but also think for ourselves, rather than just accepting what other people think. I think we should learn the Dhamma from our teachers while avoiding being a clone of our teachers.

Metta,

Guy

PeacefulAssemblyChur

Thanks genkaku (and others).
This kind of reminds me of an idea for a t-shirt I have considered making.

Dakini

In my opinion "avoiding Sanghas" is just as much a potential hindrance as trying to be somebody else is.

It all depends on the sangha. There are sanghas, and then there are sanghas. Choosing carefully, being discerning, can be important.

Epicurus

There's also another reason why one should be oneself. We can't forget we don't all have the same backgrounds, the same experiences, we can be at different stages on this or that....only by accepting ourselves can we know the path and advancement that WE need.

Floating_Abu

Clarify yourself

sukhita

Oneself is refuge of oneself,
who else indeed could refuge be?
By good training of oneself
one gains a refuge hard to gain.
Dhammapada 106

Malachy12

I think that is exactly why I have refused to be boxed into a particular sect of Buddhism. I have a problem with an authority figure who believes that life can only be practiced in a certain way. I was also disillusioned from my belief that monks and nuns were doing it better. Everyone is human. So other human's are our teachers. I like advice that come from a multitude of sources, even non-buddhist sources. I'm also not trying to chase enlightenment, because I truly don't believe it to be important. (I guess if I was Christian it would be like saying, I'm not doing it for god/heaven, I'm just doing it for my peeps).
I don't think the Buddha would have ever intended for us to lose our individual ability to discern useful knowledge, and discard those beliefs which have no value.

federica

Clarify yourself

That's precisely the singularly-minded line the OP is complaining about. :rolleyes:

You should clarify "yourself" to yourself, because everybody else's yourself is not yourself. So clarify yourself - yourself.....

I am also reminded of the other similarly pithy quotation -

"Be yourself - who else is better qualified - ?"

aMatt

I love peanuts, both the food and the comic strip.

I think its fun to note that we have no choice but be ourselves. When when we act fake, we are ourselves. When we mimic others, we are ourselves. When we are authentic, we are ourselves. Its not like there is a nugget of self inside that dictates how we "really are"... we are what we do.

Zayl

People need to learn to accept themselves. I am a freeloading, somewhat lazy dreaming loafer who has his heads in the clouds and is a closet otaku. I am also a hopeless romantic and an idealist... but I am perfectly fine with every bit of that, and when other people don't like it? I don't care. I'm not happy, nor am I upset... I just keep on keeping on.

Despite all of this, or perhaps because of it, I express a very deep love for every person I come across unless they give me reason not to, and I find it rather fun and interesting to adapt the way I act to suit their sense of humor. I do not do it out of obligation of "fitting in" but because it makes them comfortable, they have fun, and so do I as it is very interesting to get to know people on that intimate of level.

I also go out of my way to help people whenever I can, sadly this has led to me being taken advantage of on multiple occasions... but I am not disheartened and I still try to make people happy.

Mr_Serenity

I like that attitude Zayl, I am more or less the same way. I rather be hated for who I am rather than liked for being someone I'm not. I'm always looking for a balance though. Of being compassionate, but also not being a wuss and a coward. There is a balance to seek, because I do appreciate people to be straight forward with me and confrontational when it can be beneficial, but yet compassionate enough to have positive growth in mind. So I am always seeking that balance.