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your advice
genkaku
Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
Is the advice you offer advice to others or advice to yourself?
Is the advice you receive advice from others or advice from yourself?
Is the advice you receive advice from others or advice from yourself?
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I think what Genkaku is saying (please correct me if I am wrong, Genkaku) is that, when we give advice to others, we are seeing something in that other person which we perceive as a fault. If we perceive that particular quality as a fault, then there is a good chance we see that same "fault" (whether or not it is actually there) in ourselves: e.g. a person who perceives themselves as lazy says (to someone else) "maybe you need to put forth more effort" but they are really saying that because they think that's what they need to do themselves.
When other people give us advice, do we receive it from them or from ourselves? To "receive it from ourselves" means that we choose to open our ears. If we are opening our ears it means we are pointing our mind in the direction that those words are pointing (i.e. in our mind). If our mind is looking inward then we are "offering advice to ourselves".
If our ears and our mind are open to begin with, then we wouldn't need the advice of others. If our mind is closed, then, when we do open our ears and our minds (and be honest with ourself) then we don't need the advice of others anyway because we have already made the decision to look inward.
Maybe I am way off...
Metta,
Guy
_______________________________
A number of years ago, an Associated Press story drew a sketch of a fellow in Russia who was convinced by "emptiness" and had gathered a small following. In order to prove his assertion that all things were empty (no self, no other, etc.) he said he would stand on some nearby railroad tracks as a freight train passed by ... and would live to tell the tale.
The AP story did not detail the funeral arrangements.
either way you're only having conversations with yourself.
I mean, I'm just asking. No one in particular. I just get that impression sometimes.
form is emptiness, emptiness is form. that's basically all of teachings of buddhism summed up.
now to get there. you need to either follow through using logic and reach a conclusive end.
so assert a then assert b. then negate a and b. thus you say everything and nothing. an all inclusive view is no view. that is non duality. using logic to destroy logic.
or you can come to the same conclusion with an insight. intuition which is beyond logic.
but again it doesn't do shit if someone else does all the work for you. you have to come to all the conclusions that the buddha made yourself.
Maybe I'm a stodgy old fart, but there's something about clear questions and clear answers that I just find appealing.
It the total acceptance of both form and emptiness. Total acceptance of the Absolute and relative. Total acceptance of ego and no ego. Total acceptance of everything and nothing. Total acceptance of objective reality and subjective reality.
so first one awakens to the emptiness within. then through the eyes we see form, which is also empty. thus coming full circle and realizing the "oneness" of reality.
or you can view it like this. everything is empty thus everything is interconnected. meaning things don't exist on their own but exist in relation to you. Reality is marked with impermanence, no-self, and non satisfaction. thus reality is empty. reality is what it is and we overlay concepts onto reality. thus reality is the projection of our minds.
so form is emptiness. realizing reality is a projection and that projection is empty. emptiness is form. realizing that the projection is as much truth as reality itself. thus everything is empty.
that's how i interpret it and i can make it as clear as you want if you ask the right questions. idk where you are at. and i don't know where you come from. thus a question is better suited if you're confused.
Anyway, back on-topic!
because consciousness functions regardless of whether you are awake to it or not. thus a buddha is one who awakens to the fact that there is no relative self other than a personality structure built by ideas/beliefs/feelings.
the personality exists but a shift occurs. now identification is with nothingness. that nothingness is aware. thus you realize you are consciousness. thus making you existence. thus making you accept the thought patterns known as ego. and accepting the fact that you are literally everything in this world.
so the path is to realize that there is a distinction between mental objects and awareness. then there is a realization or letting to of the attachment to thought processes. which opens you up to the fact that you've always been consciousness. and then you realize that even though the ego isn't you you accept it. jesus and the buddha had different personalities but spoke form the same truth/realization. thus marrying the relative and absolute. to come to an all inclusive view.
But the short answer is, kinda. For example : hypocrisy is my pet peeve, and I'm very harsh with people when it comes to hypocrisy. It is only because I pride myself on my sense of honesty, that I tend to "preach" honesty so much. So, I would never give advice I didn't think wasn't good enough for me. But usually when I give advice I do try to make sure to mind-check if it's actually something I DID DO myself. Otherwise I feel like a hypocrite and guilty and proceed to mentally torture myself about it. Coherence is an obsession of mine for some reason... Funny, that advice from others (if I'm open to it) quickly turns into self-criticism. So it tends to lack the beneficial aspects.
I think it is possible (although not necessarily easy - it takes skill) to neither reject criticism out of hand nor feel deflated by it:
1) Listen to it
2) See if there may be any truth to what they are saying. It is even possible that something they think is a flaw is actually a good thing! (e.g. Someone tried on more than one occasion to convince me that not only is it okay to lie - but it's necessary! I think they were really trying to convince themselves.)
3) If we think it is true - then we take it on board. If we think it is not true - only then do we reject it.
4) If we think it is true - ask ourselves if we can do anything about it. If we think we can - then we resolve to try our best to do that. If we can't - oh well, nobody is perfect.
5) If the person is still around after this process is complete, then thank them.
I am not saying that I flawlessly apply this ideal every time, it is a work in progress. But I think it's a good guideline.
Also, on a related note, if you find that you become overly self-critical maybe you could benefit from a regular Metta meditation. Just a suggestion; maybe it's right, maybe not.
Metta,
Guy
So i guess what I mean is people only give me advice when they are criticizing me since I never look like I'm in need of help (and tend to reject it most of the time). Wow, only now realized that lol. That's why it turn into self-critcism. They don't really give me advice, so much as criticism. So I guess I wrongly labeled it as advice. Actual advice, I rarely get, unless I ask for it. As in...advice that is trying to respond to a problem I admit I have. Which is rarely the case with anything really.
Anyways, that reply was probably really boring and useless...but, well yeah, just thinking out loud
A different sort of example of this might be if someone starts telling you about how much everyone seems to dislike them, we might ask ourselves the extent to which they may dislike themselves.
I'm still trying to learn to look beneath the surface, although I've been warned not to look too deeply. We never can fully know the mind of anyone but ourselves.
It wasn't boring at all, I can relate to some of the things you said. It is hard at the best of times to accept advice (or it's grumpy cousin "criticism"), you're not alone there.
Metta,
Guy
Or maybe pull some crazy matrix stunt and try to run through a wall while saying "form is emptiness".
When someone is giving you advice... to sit and think "this is my advice to myself" is taking the no-self, emptiness-is-form a little too literal.
When someone is giving you advice, or when you give it.. it's probably because we personally can relate to the problem in some way. That's why I'm always giving a back-story of why this advice relates to me... I say "This one time I... or I knew a guy who...", because if I've misunderstood they can say "No, my situation is different". We can't really peer into one-another's minds to see why they are asking a question, and sometimes there are limits to what language can express, or what we are able to articulate. Never-the-less we all are guilty of assuming or jumping to conclusions.