Should I have a baby if I am worried about birth defects?

hermitwin

According to statistics, about 3% of babies are born with birth defects.

Vincenzi

this may be an unpopular opinion... but abortion is an option for babies with serious birth defects.

fivebells

The question for me is, should you have a baby at all? Why do you want to?

Mountains

What you should do is not read or listen to things like that. "Birth defects" is a big area. Some things that are classified as birth defects cause absolutely no harm, while others are life-threatening. It's a wide gamut. While it may (or may not) be true that 3% of babies are born with birth defects, what does that mean? Three percent of what babies? Where? Under what conditions? What socio-economic group? What kind of pre-natal medical attention? What kind of diet during pregnancy? See where I'm going with this? You can't take an isolated number like that and live your life by it.

Now, if your family has a known history of something like pulmonary fibrosis, Down syndrome, type 1 diabetes, addictive personality, severe mental illness, etc, etc, etc, you might consider letting that enter into your decision. Personally, I chose never to have children because of a number of things like that that run in both sides of my family. If I had really wanted children, I'd have adopted. There are plenty of unwanted, unloved children out there who need adopting.

On a completely different tack, I think the world has WAY more than enough people in it already. By not having any of my own, and holding out the possibility of adoption, I've tried to do my part to decrease the explosive growth in human numbers by a tiny fraction of a percent. It's vanishingly small, I grant you, but there none the less.

If you really want a baby of your own, then have a baby, by ALL means. Your odds of dying in a car accident on the way to the hospital to deliver the baby are far higher than your odds of having a baby with a birth defect.

Cloud

I don't know anyone with birth defects personally, nor any babies with them. It seems rare enough that there's anything seriously wrong with a child.

Why would you be concerned about it... or is there something else? Like a genetic problem in the family or something? I'd only be concerned if there were reasons other than some national statistic.

soulive1112420

I was born with a birth defect and am i sure glad not to have been aborted

vinlyn

I too was born with a birth defect -- cleft lip and palate -- and that was way back in 1949. Later, my sister was, too. And a third child who did not live. In both the case of me and my sister, our cleft lip and palates were repaired. I lived a rather successful life as a teacher and then principal. My sister led a sad life. Neither of our stories has anything to do with our birth defects.

As has been said, are you worried about a specific birth defect for a specific reason, or is it just a general fear of it? Is it a birth defect that can be dealt with, or one that is "tragic" (for wont of a better word)?

taiyaki

"Research shows that 50% of all (including the first 2 weeks when people don't know they are pregnant and never know they were) pregnancies end in miscarriage. That number drops to around 10-25% after the 3rd week. Women in there 20s-30s are around 10-15, while 35+ is about 25%. 80% of all miscarriages happen in the first 12 weeks. After 12 weeks or the first trimester the chance of miscarriage drops to around 1-3% depending on age and health of the mother.

Hope this helps.
More info at the link below.
http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/pregnancy-miscarriage

Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_percentage_of_people_have_miscarriages#ixzz1HpEiHTiI "

Found this online. This is something that isn't talked about.
kind of off topic but still important to point out.

tess

According to statistics, about 3% of babies are born with birth defects.

According to statistics, much more then 3% of people die or become disabled because of the car accident.

Will this stop you leaving your house tomorrow?

hermitwin

If my baby turn out exactly the way I am, I would be sad.
Because I feel that I have suffered a lot in life & I dont wish my baby
to go thru what I have been through.

hermitwin

My wife wants it. My parents wants it.
I can deal with a cleft lip, but not Down's or cerebral palsy.

hermitwin

I hope to be a monk, so I thought a baby would be good for my wife &
my parents when I am gone.

fivebells

Have you discussed your intention to become a monk with your wife?

hermitwin

I said some day when she doesnt need me anymore.

fivebells

She might assume that'll come after the kid's fully independent. I would.

mithril

I'd say if you do not 100% percent want a child on your own (it is not your wife's child, or your parents, its is just as well yours!), to care for the baby (person), even if something should happen and you were left with the child alone, or it had a birth defect of ANY kind, if you are not prepared as much as you could imagine you could ever be prepared for it, than no, you should not have a child.

Diffusion of responsibility is not acceptable at any level, if you have a child everything that should happen to him is 100% your responsibility, regardless of the number of people that would otherwise help to care for him and also no matter what the wife (ever) said (or promised), or the parents said, or the bus driver or the president said, or just whoever or whatever, said.

"Research shows that 50% of all (including the first 2 weeks when people don't know they are pregnant and never know they were) pregnancies end in miscarriage. That number drops to around 10-25% after the 3rd week. Women in there 20s-30s are around 10-15, while 35+ is about 25%. 80% of all miscarriages happen in the first 12 weeks. After 12 weeks or the first trimester the chance of miscarriage drops to around 1-3% depending on age and health of the mother.

Hope this helps.
More info at the link below.
http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/pregnancy-miscarriage

Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_percentage_of_people_have_miscarriages#ixzz1HpEiHTiI "

Found this online. This is something that isn't talked about.
kind of off topic but still important to point out.

Also i'd like to note that the 'bad' birth defects that are usually considered as such (like those that effect cognitive ability) may actually be pregnancies that turned out pretty well as looked at with the consideration of the cell biology. In the bad luck that something got mixed up in the way it shouldn't, there was also great luck that it happened in a way that was actually compatible with life. Those miscarriages mentioned are in fact birth defects/genetic illnesses (usually happening at cell level in a way that is basically the same than all the genetic diseases we can later find in people) that are so bad that the baby could not even survive till birth.

Just thought i'd share as i find its not common intuition.

Kinda like some student mentioned after a cell biology lecture i attended:
"Wow i don't see how anyone can be born healthy anymore..."

So all birth is really a kind of miracle.


If you really want the child though and are worried about it, maybe talk to your doctor about some kind of genetic testing or something?

Weird_Artist

Hi, I work in a special needs school, I work with children aged 11 to 18, and see a HUGE range of severe disabilities, many attributed to genetics, either carrier genes, mutations or things that may be genetic which we don't understand right now (eg. Autism, schizophrenia). I have to say the majority of our students are happy, they live a different life, and its not always easy or pain-free, but there are very few that I question the quality pf their lives. Yes, parents have a huge obligation to support a child when they choose to have one, and disabled children usually end up with parents as their carers for life, but it is in a very similar way to 'normal' children requiring support and care after 18... I don't mean to say parents who care for disabled children have it easy, but I mean to say it is what you do when you choose to have a child, no child is perfect, you may end up caring for a 'normal' child after an accident, illness or addiction at any time in their lives, so its just a fact of life in my opinion.

Basically if you choose to have a child be aware of all sorts of horrible things that might go wrong, but enjoy every moment that goes right

zombiegirl

my family has a lot of weird genetic diseases and on my father's side, almost all of my family members have died by now. partly as a result of this, i have determined that my genes shouldn't be passed on and i wish to adopt.

i care little about having a little "me" running around, as people always seem to say. granted, i am a lesbian, so having a child is more difficult for me to undertake no matter which avenue i go down (and not something that will just "happen"), but i don't understand why so many people seem to have an aversion to adoption.

StaticToybox

I was born with a rather serious heart defect. The risk of passing this on is part of the reason why I have chosen to never have children (though far from the whole reason).

Weird_Artist

I absolutely love the idea of adopting, but I will be honest and say our child was unplanned, but very much wanted once he was here... By choice? I want 1 more, I wouldn't have an adopted child & a biological child together unless I was absolutely certain we could both love them equally, and I'm not sure if I would be ready for that yet.

Mountains

I chose not to have children partly for that reason. Just too many strange things going on in my dad's side of the family that I didn't want to perpetuate. Unfortunately others in my family didn't so choose, and well.. the less said...