Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Sign In Register
Examples: Monday, today, last week, Mar 26, 3/26/04
Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.

Meditation for enduring pain - childbirth

WillowberryWillowberry Explorer
edited March 2011 in Meditation
Dear Friends,

I have 3 months until I give birth to my second child. The birth of my first child lasted 34 hours with pain I did not know my body could feel.

I fear the labour pain, my ability to surrender to it, my fears have left me feel anxious and unsettled, which seems to increase as the months draw nearer.

Please help me with how to use meditation and texts to return to a calm state of mind, and work through my fears. Are there are any meditations you are aware of to prepare your mind to sit with pain?

Thank you for listening.

Comments

  • elenagreeneelenagreene Explorer
    Willowberry, I hadn't gotten into meditating yet when I had my two children so I have not specific meditation tips, but maybe my story will help.

    My first labor was difficult, too (24 1/2 hours, not as bad as yours but long enough!) and the pain was as you said, worse than I had imagined. I think the pain frightened me into thinking something was going wrong, and I tensed up, and everything progressed more slowly as a result. (I was slow to dilate.)

    But the second time was much, much easier. Although the pain was there again, I recognized it and didn't let it frighten me. I was able to just breathe (not the Lamaze stuff, just normal breathing) and let my body do what it needed to do. It was intense but it was just a couple of hours.

    Also, my husband was less nervous than the first time and knew better how to help. He massaged my neck when he could see me tense up and it was a reminder to me to loosen up.

    I think that any sort of body awareness and relaxation techniques could help. You might also think of ways a labor partner could help to remind you to stay with the pain and not fight it.

    Perhaps someone who is more experienced with meditation can suggest more. I hope this helps and I wish you all the best.
  • WillowberryWillowberry Explorer
    Thank you for your advice, your story was helpful :)

    I have a little to add to the nerves with my husband having to care for my toddler in the labour suite and I will be doing it pretty much alone. We are far from family and friends, the hospital has agreed to this but it is all still daunting, she will have only just turned 2.

    It is relieving hearing you how you coped the second time, sometimes even just being heard can make the nerves settle, thank you again!

  • elenagreeneelenagreene Explorer
    That is a tough situation, Willowberry. I wonder if in the next few months you could find someone to either watch the toddler or support you? Some women hire a doula to help them. I didn't do that but have heard good things.
  • VictoriousVictorious Grim Veteran
    edited March 2011
    I do not know anything about pain giving birth even though it obviously was my fault.At least that is what my GF said in labour... :).

    But I do know that mindfulness of what is self with the body as subject (four elements, parts of the body) helps withstand pain. I have had experience with other types of pain (no not the snivels)and in those cases it works.

    I also learnt a trick of moving the pain outside the body when I was little. Have not done that for a while though.

    All these things need some time of cultivation to work in any length. Do not know if 3 months is enough...

    Let me know if you want to know more.

    /Victor
  • Malachy12Malachy12
    I know this won't help, and I've never given birth. I'm not sure how to cope with long lasting hour upon on hour pain. But once as a kid, I performed a half-assed surgery on an infected and ingrown toenail (eew!). I didn't want my parents to know because that would mean I'd have to get a shot (I was a dumb kid). So I got out a bottle of iodine and a sharp knife... mind you... I couldn't even touch the side of my toe without squeeling in pain.
    I still don't know how I managed to do it, but I took my time. I was sweating from the pain of it, and the only way I coped was by repeatedly telling myself "This is supposed to hurt, so just let it hurt and don't fight it." It was the longest and most painful experience of my life (as I said... I haven't given birth yet). I've read before that fighting against pain can sometimes make it unbearable. But, thats the only advice I can give :)
  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    edited March 2011
    Dear Friends,

    I have 3 months until I give birth to my second child. The birth of my first child lasted 34 hours with pain I did not know my body could feel.

    I fear the labour pain, my ability to surrender to it, my fears have left me feel anxious and unsettled, which seems to increase as the months draw nearer.

    Please help me with how to use meditation and texts to return to a calm state of mind, and work through my fears. Are there are any meditations you are aware of to prepare your mind to sit with pain?

    Thank you for listening.
    There are (e.g., Ajahn Jumnien's technique of 'breaking through a posture'), but they usually take a long time to develop and are best done under the guidance of an experienced teacher.

    Personally, I second elenagreene's suggestion of hiring a doula, or maybe even a midwife.
  • DhammaDhatuDhammaDhatu Veteran
    edited March 2011
    The birth of my first child lasted 34 hours with pain I did not know my body could feel.
    In his first noble truth, the first thing the Buddha taught was giving birth to children is dukkha (lit: "difficult"). Therefore, you can reflect the Buddha had empathy for the challenge you are facing.

    The Buddha's empathy & compassion are most evident in the Angulimala Sutta, where he made the univeral wish for women in childbirth: "May you and your child be well". In Asia, this wish of the Buddha is commonly reflected upon by women in child birth.

    At the end of the First Noble Truth, the Buddha taught all suffering is clinging or grasping.

    So try to let go, try to trust, try to allay your fears, by trusting in nature.

    Also, I have a close friend who had a difficult first child birth. However, her second was much easier. In fact, she (unintentiionally) gave birth herself, without assistance. So the second time is often easier.

    With metta

    :)

  • DaozenDaozen Veteran
    edited March 2011
    Hi Willowberry,

    Congratulations! You've been twice blessed.

    1. It WILL be easier this time round! Almost every 2nd labour is shorter than the first. That's simply because your body has done this before, and it's now more flexible in the places it needs to be.

    2. There are techniques involving breathing and so on, but the most powerful techniques concern your mind and methods for dealing with the fear and anxiety that is common in a second birth. In fact there is birthing movement which goes by different names - CALM birthing & Hypnobirthing are two common terms - that will really adjust your mindset to a really great place for birthing. As a father of two, i can't recommend doing a course in one of these techniques highly enough. You can get books too, which is better than nothing, but i really recommend doing a course with a trained practitioner. These courses are for mum and dad, because it's a big event for both of you!

    Here's some links to get you started - just google for more info. Enjoy! :)

    http://www.hypnobirthing.com/
    http://www.calmbirthing.com/
  • WillowberryWillowberry Explorer
    That is a tough situation, Willowberry. I wonder if in the next few months you could find someone to either watch the toddler or support you? Some women hire a doula to help them. I didn't do that but have heard good things.
    I took your advice right away and contacted the hospital to see if they could help with anyone good in the area. They had an excellent idea, there is a student midwife (currently a nurse in the childrens ward) who needs to attend a birth, they will provide her for free to assist me!
    I would not have contacted them, if it wasnt for your comment. Thank you Elenagreene!

  • WillowberryWillowberry Explorer

    I also learnt a trick of moving the pain outside the body when I was little. Have not done that for a while though.

    All these things need some time of cultivation to work in any length. Do not know if 3 months is enough...

    Let me know if you want to know more.

    /Victor
    I would like to know more, pain is pain, no matter the cause.

    I did leave it a little late to seek advice, but will work hard at any that is given. Thanks for your help


    :)
  • WillowberryWillowberry Explorer

    @ Malachy12
    You made an excellent point, its really mind over matter, pain is within our control, and my god what were you thinking! That must have hurt! :0

    @ Dhamma Dhatu
    Breaking it down makes it seem so straight forward...

    'At the end of the First Noble Truth, the Buddha taught all suffering is clinging or grasping.'

    Which is exactly what I am doing, clinging and grasping. I will meditate on this & think back to this each time I begin to feel the panic, also when they day finally comes.
    I will also remind myself it does not have to be this way... and to let go.
    Thank you Dhamma Dhatu, your words have calmed me and the following is beautiful.

    "May you and your child be well"


    @ Daozen
    Thank you, I love hearing that the second is easier, and it does make sense that the body is more flexible to allow for it, to be honest I never thought about that.
    I will go and check out both those sites now, thank you for your advice and the congratulations. Its all so exciting!
Sign In or Register to comment.