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Wow, can a place be unfriendly?
Hi all,
I love walking/jogging outside in the mornings! In my old city, fellow walkers would exchange "Hello", "Good Morning", and "Nice Day" all the time. It was wonderful. I loved greeting walkers and almost always had a positive reply.
Several months ago, I moved to a small city. I'm still outside in the morning 3X a week, saying hello to people. They either look at me for a second and then look away, or don't look at me at all. Even the old people do this. At first I thought maybe they didn't hear me or they were lost in thought. So far, no one has said greeted me first.
This morning I saw the perfect opportunity to say hello. Another woman my age, alone, in workout clothes, without headphones, was approaching me. It was seven o'clock, no traffic, and beautiful outside. We were both walking on the same narrow sidewalk. I said good morning, she looked at me and then immediately looked away and passed me by. I was in awe!
I've greeted and conversed with strangers many times before, and almost never had such a reaction. She wouldn't even acknowledge my existence.
Where's the legendary friendliness smaller places are supposed to have? Should I treat these people with the same indifference they are showing me?
Thanks
I love walking/jogging outside in the mornings! In my old city, fellow walkers would exchange "Hello", "Good Morning", and "Nice Day" all the time. It was wonderful. I loved greeting walkers and almost always had a positive reply.
Several months ago, I moved to a small city. I'm still outside in the morning 3X a week, saying hello to people. They either look at me for a second and then look away, or don't look at me at all. Even the old people do this. At first I thought maybe they didn't hear me or they were lost in thought. So far, no one has said greeted me first.
This morning I saw the perfect opportunity to say hello. Another woman my age, alone, in workout clothes, without headphones, was approaching me. It was seven o'clock, no traffic, and beautiful outside. We were both walking on the same narrow sidewalk. I said good morning, she looked at me and then immediately looked away and passed me by. I was in awe!
I've greeted and conversed with strangers many times before, and almost never had such a reaction. She wouldn't even acknowledge my existence.
Where's the legendary friendliness smaller places are supposed to have? Should I treat these people with the same indifference they are showing me?
Thanks
0
Comments
It really blows that people aren't being more open to your friendliness! I say you keep doing what you're doing. Just offer a quick hello and a smile and move on your way. Don't crave that they respond any certain way because, ah, this is leading to some suffering. If you keep being kind and putting that great energy out into the air, and you don't expect anything in return, I think that positive things will manifest one way or another. Maybe somewhere else in your life.
If I were in your town, even if I were someone who was so anxious and nervous that I had to look away rather than smile at someone, I'd be inspired by your friendliness :-)
A bow to you,
P
Exactly. You just never know what effect you're having on someone, even if they may seem unresponsive or unappreciative at the time.
I once smiled at a woman in a queue in a shop, and much to my suprise she came up to me and actually thanked me for smiling at her. Apparently she'd been having a bad day, and just that simple smile had made her feel better. Believe it or not, this is a true story.
Before this happened, I must have smiled at and said "hi" to hundreds of strangers I've passed in the street. A lot of them didn't even acknowledge me. Even if my greetings had no bearing whatsoever on these other people's moods or state of mind, I think it's still worth it, even if in the end it only made one woman feel a little bit happier on one day of her life. Maybe you'll meet her soon, or maybe you already have.
Mtns
Since I stared on my path, I swear I see people react to me just a bit differently, in parking lots, stores etc. In fact when someone cuts me off, bumps me etc, they excuse themselves almost without thinking and I look at them in the eye briefly and tell them it's quite ok. I do it very briefly but with honesty and sincerity and most times they seem to "get it" and seem pleasantly pleased by my unexpected positive reaction...
If people like you or I stop saying hi, then things will only get worse... so please don't give up, if enough people become just a bit more friendly eventually the world might change... but if we do stop then the world will change for sure, for the worse...
As I always like to say... "Life can be so good if just let it be, and are awake enough to realize it" Life is simply too short not to enjoy every second of it in a mindful way. After all as I've read in some of Thich Nhat Hanh's writings when you have a negative experience with someone will it really matter in 50 or 100 years from now?
With lots of Metta to you!
ivan
It also has an effect on you... if you smile unconditionally your mindset will be positive (how could it be negative if your smiling)
but if you stop from discouragement, what does that do to your mindset, it brings it down a notch or too towards negative...
Smile for yourself as much as for anyone else... its compassion for the self... (Ok, lets not go into the fact that there is "no self" in this thread please
I had a literature professor who was from the South (I live in Wisconsin), and he said that when he moved here it took him a long time to get used to all of the polite people and waving and what not. It even actually annoyed him
I don't think it necessarily reflects on a persons friendly nature, giving greetings or not giving greetings. Heck in some places simply making eye contact is a sign of aggression. *shrug* It is definitely nice that you're polite though!