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Does mindfulness or Buddhism ever make you feel tied down?
Like I always feel like I have to be watching my thoughts etc and sometimes I think that if I didn't practice Buddhism and worry about stuff I could be free and not have to think about stuff like non attachment etc and be happier? Also it seems that Buddhism is against the idea of being able to be in a relationship and love someone. Isn't it normal that we want people to love us back, etc? Any thoughts?
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after reading some of your threads I wonder: Why you are interested in Buddhism?
I ask this because it seems that the reason is other than ending suffering. I could be wrong. Let us know, and perhaps we can give better answers.
The teachings of the Buddha work if you act on them.
Keep it simple, as someones teacher on here as said, the 5 (precepts) the 4 (noble thruths) the 8 (fold path)
Think about what buddhajunkie said... try and answer it. The Buddha taught suffering and the end of suffering, that is all.
It may help to see Buddhism in its historical and social context. Buddhism is a religion that has historically had a monastic focus. One reason for this is that spirituality in India at the time of the Buddha was largely a renunciant culture where people would abandon their home lives to devote themselves completely to spiritual liberation. As such, romantic relationships are devalued in many teachings of Buddhism. If you read the Pali canon (the oldest surviving records of the Buddha's teaching in an Indian language, and probably as close as one can get to knowing what he taught), you'll find that the Buddha didn't really concern himself with laypeople; in fact, he gave them relatively simple instruction. His really transformative teachings were aimed at fellow renunciants.
For this reason, as modern-day lay practitioners, we need to figure out for ourselves to what extent the Buddha's teachings are relevant to us in helping us to alleviate our suffering. The Buddha's philosophy was couched in terms of a worldview in which humans were trapped in a neverending cycle of rebirths (samsara). His teachings have a very urgent tone to them because of this. However, most newcomers to Buddhism aren't inclined to agree with this particular worldview. As such, we need to approach the teaching with our own purposes in mind: do you believe in literal samsara and desiring to liberate yourself from an endless cycle of rebirth? Or are you simply trying to find ways to live a more skillful life?
I'm guessing it's the latter. If this is true, the Buddha's more austere teachings may not be relevant and you need not obsess over them. There's plenty to be gained as a lay practitioner anyway. I read your other post about feeling like you're losing your mind. It sounds like a good place to start would be cultivating self-compassion. One good resource is Dr. Christopher K. Germer's book The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion, which incorporates a Buddhist approach to alleviating self-hatred with modern-day psychology, and explains it in very easy-to-understand terms. It's a book that I've found very helpful in bringing Buddhism down to the "kitchen sink level."
If I ever I find myself struggling, it's invariably because I've got the wrong end of the stick somehow. I went through a phase of finding meditation a horrible battle. But then I got ill, and because I was weak and tired and kept falling asleep in meditation. Being so fatigued, I simply could not keep up the mental fighting in meditation and gradually learned a more calm, relaxed awareness.
All of a sudden, I started finding meditation a pleasant, relaxing experience because I learned to let go. Strange how it can be so difficult to learn not to fight yourself. And I still doze a bit in meditation, but I just concern myself wit the bits where I'm not dozing and if dozing happens, so be it.
I think acceptance is a big part of Buddhism - accepting the reality of who you are.
I also think of HH Dalai Lamas words "My religion is happiness" and my teacher who said (paraphrased) "If your Buddhism is making you miserable, you're doing it wrong!"
Remember one of the most important things is to try to not cling! Clinging to good or bad is still clinging. Walk the middle path and accept life and yourself. You can still love but not attach.
As far as loving relationships, Buddha never was against it. More details later.
Happy journey!
Mindfullness is a great tool. But if it somehow feels like a burden, skip it, and study the 4 Noble Truths and Eightfold Path. As a beginner you can choose the elements you want to have in your elementary practice. It doesn't have to be a big deal.