Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
About 1/5 of women have experienced rape?
hermitwin
Veteran
Is this normal or should we be alarmed?
Fact #1: 18.3 % of women in the United States have survived a completed or attempted rape. Of these, 12.3% were younger than age 12 when they were first raped, and 29.9% were between the ages of 11 and 17. (National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010).
http://www.feminist.com/antiviolence/facts.html#global
Fact #1: 18.3 % of women in the United States have survived a completed or attempted rape. Of these, 12.3% were younger than age 12 when they were first raped, and 29.9% were between the ages of 11 and 17. (National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010).
http://www.feminist.com/antiviolence/facts.html#global
0
Comments
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_statistics
We should be compassionate.
We should practice dilegently.
The world needs more Bodhisattvas.
It is quite a prevalent belief among younger men (not all, of course) that certain women are asking for it, and that they are entitled to sex if they feel they are teased or whatever. Men I know make these claims, and they aren't the sort of men you'd expect to hear comments like that from. "She was asking for it" is a common phrase. Yes, it happens way more often than most people want to recognize. But even making an assumption that a woman going to a room with a man knew what she was getting into, furthers the problem.
To answer your question @hermitwin Yes, it's normal and yes we should be alarmed.
I have a long complicated history with this topic but to make one simple point, rape is so much more common than people realize. I have almost been drugged twice in my life by accepting drinks from guys at a bar. Once, I was actually drugged, but was with my friends so nothing bad happened. The second time, I had already made the rule to never accept another drink from a stranger but my girlfriend thought I was being paranoid and drank the beer. After a few sips, her hands started to go numb and she was shocked. Later that night, this same group of guys got another acquaintance of mine, even though I told her not to drink the beer, but her friends took care of her.
The point is... before those experiences, I really didn't think it was all that common. But I have seen in my life that it is literally everywhere. GHB is not that hard to get since a lot of guys actually take it recreationally.
It's a pretty awful statistic if it's correct.
Shall issue states show a lower incidence of rape... I think that law should be passed in every state, and that we should have it here in Canada, too.
http://www.brookings.edu/press/books/chapter_1/evaluatinggunpolicy.pdf
In response to rising rape rates, they trained 10,000 women in the use of hand guns and the rape rate went down by 88%.
And no, people shouldn't be allowed to just carry a weapon. Safe usage is first and foremost. In Canada we have to undertake mandatory gun training and safety courses before we're allowed a license.
I've been thinking about getting involved in Project Unbreakable, but somehow, even after 5 years... I just don't feel ready. The whole website is still just one trigger for me, so anyone else with a history of abuse/sexual assault/rape, I highly recommend exercising caution to avoid triggers.
If you read through the comments on On Being a Queer Survivor from the Autostraddle article, you will see again, just how common this is.
Classes and training are required here, too. But knowing how to shoot a gun does nothing to prepare you for how to react if you are raped. Most of the time, guns are used to stop robberies and burglaries, not rapes. I have a conceal carry permit. But I most certainly wouldn't carry it when I went to the bar or something, and many situations where a rape occurs would not be a situation the average woman would, or should, be carrying a gun in.
But the data still holds across other states regarding numerous crimes.
Anyway, I don't want to derail. I just think that as women we should take all steps that we can to protect ourselves. There are a lot of idiots out there (remember the "your body shuts down during "real" rape guy?) and I just feel that if we're comfortable using our guns we should be able to.
But that's just one of many changes I'd like to see in response to this issue.
There are two issues here. First, any statistic put out by an organization with an agenda needs to be examined closely. The 18-20 percent I read about was from a small survey of girls in college, and the "definition of attempted rape" that is used is never defined. I saw one questionaire in college that equated sexual assault with rape, and went on to define assault as "any contact the male initializes that makes you uncomfortable or if you've drank enough to feel out of control, even if the boy stops when told or is interrupted." So these college studies all have to been taken with a bit of skepticism.
But that doesn't mean questioning the bias of the study is the same as minimizing the problem. As a man, I don't have to worry about someone refusing to take no for an answer. I'm well aware women live with a fear that I don't give a thought to, unless I end up in prison. Add this stupid Republican white male insistance on "only violent rape is valid" and rape pregnancies should be seen as "gifts from God" and I have to feel compassion for all the women of the world.
The other issue with pepper spray is also, obviously, range. You can point a gun at a man from 40ft. You need to be in fairly close proximity to be within range of the effects of pepper spray.
As a weird alternative, a friend of mine is practicing throwing knives and has a little set. I think she's doing it more because of interest than actual safety though.
I'm super paranoid and look around me at all times for movement. I blame too many zombie video games. Anytime there is a man around me, I grip my pepper spray. I don't care if I offend anyone, sometimes I think it's better if they notice.
I live in Detroit so I just assume more people have guns here... A friend of mine laments that in her neighborhood, she's hears people shooting them off all the time. I don't want to carry a gun because I think that's the best way to get shot. Not that I would do this, BUT if I was carrying and so was the other person, I think I'd have a better chance of getting away by disabling their vision than shooting them so they could turn around and shoot me back. But of course, thinking about these types of things is pretty pointless because that sorta stuff happens so fast and would probably never go the way you think.
There's something wrong with the way boys are being raised in our society. There needs to be more parental involvement and positive modeling for boys, and alternatives to the macho-man/stud image.
But seriously, I've heard of the study that Dakini is referencing (although I don't remember the exact percentage) and I wish I could remember where I read it! It had something to do with almost all men would say that they would never rape someone, but when they removed the word 'rape' and talked about specific scenarios (like: girl passed out at a party) their opposition changed drastically. I don't have time right now, but I'll try and see if I can find more info later. Maybe @Dakini could look too.
Rape and non-consensual sex is a huge fantasy for men. If you ever read online fantasy sites where people write stories, rape/non-consent (such as someone who is passed out) are very popular and almost always highly rated. Not that that is conclusive proof of anything, just an interesting tidbit. I think a lot of men think about it, but would be ashamed to admit it. Obviously there is a huge step between a fantasy and acting out, but many criminal sexual acts start off as fantasy and progress to having the guts and the opportunity to try it. And no, I'm not saying everyone who has ever had a "rape fantasy" will eventually act it out or anything.
I am not going to go into detail as it could be used to identify me, but my job is involved in this issue. I don't want to take away from what the others are saying, but I will say that most rapists are someone you know, so a concealed carry permit* would seem to be of limited use. The rapist who jumps out of the bushes is very rare. Most people aren't going to shoot a family member or friend. I say 'people' because it is not just a women's issue - it can and does happen to many men, probably far more than we can know, as children and as adults.
And karasti is right - most rapists do it more than once. And whether you think the men you know couldn't be rapists isn't really the issue - rapists, like abusers, and sex traffickers, are often master manipulators and people who everyone else likes - so the victim is not believed. (Sadly I have got to the point now where meeting a charming man is actually a red flag for me. I am more comfortable with someone who has a more usual level of insecurity. I realize that's messed up and usually manage to catch myself and try to just respond to people in a mindful manner. But certainly anyone who tries to pressure you in any way is a red flag, and that can sometimes go with 'charming' behavior.)
Reporting is also often of limited use because so many cases involve alcohol, consent to some things but not others, previous consent, an already existing relationship, etc. and it's difficult to prosecute, even if the authorities are on board, which they often aren't, especially if you are not a 'good victim' - i.e. people who had drunk alcohol or taken drugs, had a previous relationship, been involved in sex work, been fashionably dressed, etc. have more problems.
*I do carry pepper spray and probably would carry a gun if I could, however. I have also considered gun ownership for my home. I'm not sure if this would help, but I have considered it.