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Trying to be calm in an environment of hate.

JohnGJohnG Veteran
in Buddhism Basics
I need some help. I sort of blew my steam last night on two fellow officers. The usual vote for Romney and I just couldn't take it no more. These officers were once in the military as I, but none were in combat specialties, so I got a problem with voting in a multi millionare draft dodger, who expects others to bleed for his wars, and profit. My retort was "I don't see any of you getting into shape to re-enter the military. I was trained as a combat medic, as well as a forward observer, why is it that so many who want war, are those who never experianced what life and death is, let alone how to take it? I'm still upset because I know I shouldn't have done it. I should have just walked away, but, I just couldn't take the weekend warrior' who are so flippent on killing.

Comments

  • PremaSagarPremaSagar Veteran
    edited November 2012
    Find a place where you can be alone. I find that for me healing and calming down is something that can be done best within a quiet environment. If you can't find a quiet place then at least find a room where you can have some alone time and ask not to be disturbed for an hour or two. If you have an altar grab whatever it is you use for a cushion and light some candles or incense in front of your altar. Then sit on your cushion in whatever posture suits you the best and just sit.
    Don't become attached to anything in particular, just sit. Or you could choose to use the breath as an anchor as some people choose to do during sitting.
    After some 10 or perhaps 30 minutes do some loving kindness meditation for at least 5 minutes.

    It's not always easy to love but try to follow the advise of Shakyamuni Buddha when he told his followers to "live in love" among those who live in hate. Try to follow the teaching of Jesus Bosatsu when he said to "Love your Enemies". Such love is meant to calm your mind and to dilute the anger that's festering up inside of you. Loving your enemies doesn't mean allowing them to walk all over you but having the strength to be able to confront them calmly.

    Wishing you much peace !,
    Prema Sagar
    sovaJeffrey
  • JohnGJohnG Veteran
    PremaSagar said:

    Find a place where you can be alone. I find that for me healing is something that can be done best within a quiet environment. If you can't find a quiet place then at least find a room where you can have some alone time and ask not to be disturbed for an hour or two. If you have an altar grab whatever it is you use for a cushion and light some candles or incense in front of your altar. Then sit on your cushion in whatever posture suits you the best and just sit. Don't become attached to anything in particular, just sit. Or you could choose to use the breath as an anchor as some people choose to do during sitting.
    After some 10 or perhaps 30 minutes do some loving kindness meditation for at least 5 minutes.

    It's not always easy to love but try to follow the advise of Shakyamuni when he told his followers to live in love among those who live in hate. Try to follow the teaching of Jesus Bosatsu when said to "Love your Enemies". Such love is meant to calm your mind and to dilute the anger that's festering up inside of you.

    Thank you.
  • PremaSagarPremaSagar Veteran
    Thank you.
    You're welcome !
    May you be tranquil and at ease ! :)
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran

    You knew the steam shot out, right?
    Therefore acknowledging the steam, hence, it building.

    Im sure since you noticed that, you will notice it
    faster next time it arises.
    The more moments you notice arise like this,
    the easier it gets to deal with.
    Then you can learn more
    productive responses.

    Your calm has nothing to do with the
    enviroment or the hate around you.
    It effects us all, yes,
    But, it is my understanding, that is the
    suffering part we are attached to.

    See it evaporating, instead of a teapot 'blow'.
    Get your plan together. You are at war with
    steam, soldier! :)

  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    Sometimes, the words that come from us in a time of stress are the words that most need to be said and heard. I don't think what you said was so horrible, and maybe it made them think. Anyhow, it helps some to remember that even though it might not make logical sense to the rest of us, they are just as adamant and sure of their beliefs as we are.
    Bunks
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran
    edited November 2012
    karasti said:

    Sometimes, the words that come from us in a time of stress are the words that most need to be said and heard..... it helps some to remember that even though it might not make logical sense to the rest of us, they are just as adamant and sure of their beliefs as we are.


    I agree. On both points.
    Put yourself in their shoes. Compassion, if you will.

    They are there on the job like you, saying what
    they think. Probably all they know. What is their
    exposure? You know...all that bullshit.
  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    Train in the polarity to gain the middle way.
    Something like Qi-ong, yoga or the more 'violent' tai-chi or other martial art is a good way to develop pre-emptive body based calm, reflected in behaviour.
    Hope that is hopeful. :)
  • fivebellsfivebells Veteran
    Just avoid those idiots.
  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran
    fivebells said:

    Just avoid those idiots.

    Sometimes you can't avoid idiots.
  • fivebellsfivebells Veteran
    The story suggests otherwise in this case, but you could be right.
  • robotrobot Veteran
    Lately I have taken to apologizing for my outburst, even if I know I was right. Smooths things out sometimes.
    lobster
  • PremaSagarPremaSagar Veteran
    PremaSagar said: "Don't become attached to anything in particular"
    I feel I need to be a little more clear on this point. Don't become attached to anything is what I feel I was trying to say. The word "particular" seemed to be unnecessary baggage to the sentence.
  • JohnGJohnG Veteran
    Thank you all for the help :D. I'm getting back to the line now; I used a combination of your suggestions; Meditation, but also I studied Hapkido, no Kata, but the practice of the techniques worked as well. I studied Tai chi once, unfortunatly I don't remember all the forms.

    I heard of Chi Qong, but alas the classes are the time I'm sleeping or not on my time off. I retire June, so, I'll be finding a class, maybe study another martial art style for the kata work.

    But all your suggestions workd, thank you once again. :om:
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited November 2012
    When I get angry, sometimes with my brother, the view is so narrow and I have to push him back. But then I can see that it isn't a big deal and we can disagree and I just have to explain my point. But like some people said it is too high a bar to say that we will never get angry and we have to forgive ourselves when we do get angry and move on. I say that last because it is important that we communicate what we feel, it's just that narrow view and heat are what is destructive and can cause friction and harshness. When there is this harshness our heart is sad for the destruction and the upset caused to us and our community/friends say by the stress.
    JohnG
  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    edited November 2012
    JohnG said:

    I need some help. I sort of blew my steam last night on two fellow officers. The usual vote for Romney and I just couldn't take it no more. These officers were once in the military as I, but none were in combat specialties, so I got a problem with voting in a multi millionare draft dodger, who expects others to bleed for his wars, and profit. My retort was "I don't see any of you getting into shape to re-enter the military. I was trained as a combat medic, as well as a forward observer, why is it that so many who want war, are those who never experianced what life and death is, let alone how to take it? I'm still upset because I know I shouldn't have done it. I should have just walked away, but, I just couldn't take the weekend warrior' who are so flippent on killing.

    idk, OP, sometimes speaking your mind is the right thing to do. It can open people's eyes, if done mindfully. Raising awareness of the consequences of supporting policies of killing could be considered Right Speech, if done mindfully. I don't see a problem.

    JohnG
  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    I studied Tai chi once, unfortunately I don't remember all the forms.
    You probably did chi-kung as part of the 'warm up'. A Form of meditational movement, that works on the emotional and physical body. You can probably remind yourself . . . from book or web . . .
  • JohnGJohnG Veteran
    lobster said:

    I studied Tai chi once, unfortunately I don't remember all the forms.
    You probably did chi-kung as part of the 'warm up'. A Form of meditational movement, that works on the emotional and physical body. You can probably remind yourself . . . from book or web . . .

    Looking for the forms now. :D
  • ToshTosh Veteran
    I don't tend to worry about those who have different views to my own. Live and let live.
  • JohnGJohnG Veteran
    Well got lucky, didn't get dispatch or fixed post; got walking and did much contimplaiton in cold weather. Thank you all once again, your advice helped me greatley. :D
  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran
    Metta practice allows you to be calm in an environment of hate. :)
    The Pali word metta is a multi-significant term meaning loving-kindness, friendliness, goodwill, benevolence, fellowship, amity, concord, inoffensiveness and non-violence. The Pali commentators define metta as the strong wish for the welfare and happiness of others (parahita-parasukha-kamana). Essentially metta is an altruistic attitude of love and friendliness as distinguished from mere amiability based on self-interest. Through metta one refuses to be offensive and renounces bitterness, resentment and animosity of every kind, developing instead a mind of friendliness, accommodativeness and benevolence which seeks the well-being and happiness of others. True metta is devoid of self-interest. It evokes within a warm-hearted feeling of fellowship, sympathy and love, which grows boundless with practice and overcomes all social, religious, racial, political and economic barriers. Metta is indeed a universal, unselfish and all-embracing love.
    JohnG
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