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Super-imposing people on others

BunksBunks Australia Veteran
in Buddhism Basics
A buddhist monk told me that in his younger days starting out on the path he had a boss at work he found difficult so he "super-imposed" the feelings he had for his brother (the person he loved most in the world) onto this boss and suddenly he saw the situation in a whole different way. He ended up getting on well with this boss and becoming good friends.

I have tried this myself with some success - if someone is behaving in a way I don't like I think "how would I feel if this were my daughter?" and it changes things completely. I feel compassion and kindness for the person rather than anger or ill will.

Anyone else try this? Is it a common practice in any tradition? The monk who talked to me about it was from a Tibetan tradition.
TheEccentricVastmindNirvana

Comments

  • Geoff-AllenGeoff-Allen
    Thanks 4 the suggestion - I suppose it's all part of developing equanimity ...

    http://tinyurl.com/bl2khpb

    Cheers
  • Geoff-AllenGeoff-Allen
    Lovingkindness meditation -

    http://www.wildmind.org/metta

    Have a good one!
    BunksNirvana
  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    Anyone else try this? Is it a common practice in any tradition?
    I think of people, including my own inner resident persona as under different unravellings of metta. Some people are tight, entangled and busy with their knots which they project outward. In reality, they are pure and perfect. In a different set of circumstances and karma, I could have turned out the most confused, conflicted, heinous person [some assure me this has in fact happened]. :bawl:
    We are all worthy of respect, kindness and patience. We are all on the journey to death. We are all fragile. People are not just 'mother beings', they are brothers and Buddhas that have lost their way. Can you imagine what living in a world of Buddhas would be like? It would be Nirvana. Same world. Different perspective. :wave:
    BunksNirvana
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    My teacher is Tibetan and he talks about this often. Whenever someone goes to him with difficulty with one person or another he tells them not to treat people how WE want to be treated. But how we want our closest loved ones to be treated. He uses the mother as an example most often but of course can apply to anyone we are close to. It also works to expand to more minor situations. People that pull out in front of you, slow people on the sidewalk, etc.
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran
    edited February 2013
    Or how would I feel if it were me?
    And has it been me before?
    Someone elses' back story could
    have easily been ours.

    You did it the other day in a post....and
    I thought...Amen Brother Bunks! :)

    For example...Jimmy can be such an asshole,
    just like me.
    Jimmy needs love and care,
    just like me.
    Bunks
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