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A Question
All right, Noble Sangha, here's a question for you all:
Should I shave my head?
I've been thinking about it for quite a while now, and I even posted a question concerning the matter on another forum a little while back; I was concerned about such an action's relation to Buddhist monasticism in that I wondered if lay people were discouraged from it -- I don't want to be accused of "impersonating a nun," or something to that effect, which brings me to the next catch, that I'm a girl. As I explained on the other forum, my reasons for wishing to do this have nothing to do with my Buddhist practice; the concerns just happen to overlap. The responses I got on that forum varied, ranging from encouragement to do it (with our very own Genryu among my supporters) to utter confusion to warnings against it, as I will without fail (according to a critic) be assumed to be a lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that -- though it's not right for me). This critic was also convinced that I would be deceiving others by leading them to think that I was a nun.
I'm fairly set on it, though (we'll see if that lasts), but I just want a reaction to see if I can still be persuaded not to go through with it. If I can't...
Should I shave my head?
I've been thinking about it for quite a while now, and I even posted a question concerning the matter on another forum a little while back; I was concerned about such an action's relation to Buddhist monasticism in that I wondered if lay people were discouraged from it -- I don't want to be accused of "impersonating a nun," or something to that effect, which brings me to the next catch, that I'm a girl. As I explained on the other forum, my reasons for wishing to do this have nothing to do with my Buddhist practice; the concerns just happen to overlap. The responses I got on that forum varied, ranging from encouragement to do it (with our very own Genryu among my supporters) to utter confusion to warnings against it, as I will without fail (according to a critic) be assumed to be a lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that -- though it's not right for me). This critic was also convinced that I would be deceiving others by leading them to think that I was a nun.
I'm fairly set on it, though (we'll see if that lasts), but I just want a reaction to see if I can still be persuaded not to go through with it. If I can't...
0
Comments
I see nothing wrong with shaving your head. I shave my head quite often. In fact, the last time I shaved my head was last Saturday. There is nothing that should discourage you from shaving your head—unless of course you are worried about the occasional weird look, snicker, joke, et cetera.
There is absolutely nothing in the Buddha's teachings to discourage lay-followers from doing it. The only way you would be accused of impersonating a nun is if you shaved your head, wore white robes, begged for food, and said you were a nun; otherwise, you have nothing to worry about.
Sincerely,
Jason
I dyed my hair bleach blonde (I'm a dude!), and even that simple thing caused people to behave as if I were walking around with horns on my head or something. :rolleyes:
Do yo' thang, girl. Live your life
As Brian says, be free to do your thing....any 'attitude' you get will be a discomfort or prejudice on their part - something they'll have to deal with, not you.....
Oh, and, actually Brian, you dyed your hair 'Blond'....this is the only word adopted completely by the English language, and recognised as an English word in its own right, that has a masculine AND a feminine gender. :rockon:
I'm about to get banned.....:buck:
If this is something you really want to do.....Then do it. Just as long as you understand that ppl don't like things that are different than themselves. So be ready for ppl to possible say things that you may not want to hear. My husband has very long hair, almost to his waist and he has chosen to wear his hair like this while living in the Bible Belt. There has been a lot said and it can be very hurtful, mean and even scary at times. ppl can be very prejudice towards things they do not understand. If none of that will bother you, then CUT AWAY!
Plus............ It's just hair......if you don't like it it will grow back. And if you do....then keep it shaved.
If you're living at home and under the age of 18 - I would at least consult your parents. There is nothing wrong with respect for your parents wishes. I mean, it's just hair, right? If they wished that you didn't shave it until you were at least 18 or something - having a full head of hair isn't going to change you from being the wonderful person that you already are, right?
-bf
My daughter shaved her head when she was about 17....I saw no point in objecting, personally, because I just thought that as it was reversible and just a fashion statement, she could do as she wished....
She felt more confident and 'visible'.... it did something to her self-esteem...it made her stand out, and she felt quite, 'sassy'....
On a different plane, a goodfriend of mine shaved her head deliberately, whilst undergoing chemo treatment. She felt it exposed her defiant, fighting spirit.....
I think that sometimes, what we do to ourselves on the exterior (be it sartorial or through altering our physical self) very much affects us on the inside....
-bf
Oh yes, we discussed it, and I thought of the old adage,
"In matters of taste, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock."
More often than not, it's a good guideline, and in fact, I shaved it for her.
...She only decided to grow it back when a shop assistant referred to her as 'sir'.....
I don't think there is anything wrong with respect for one's parents. I don't think that understanding and compassion for parents is a bad thing.
In fact, I think (I would hope) that your parents might even join in with you.
I don't know how old ramblingonmyway is - but I would hate for her to be 15 (or some age close to that) go shave her head, freak her parents out and then say, "Oh!, but all these people on the internet I know told me to do it!"
But, for an adult that wishes to do something like this - I say, "What the hell!"
-bf
I know, I know....but we do sometimes.....
I'm actually eighteen (I've been since August) and am living at college, so I'm fairly sure I'm in the clear about that. I'm going to warn my parents before hand -- my mom will probably be surprised, but she won't stop me (in fact, unless one of my brothers insists, she'll probably be the one to actually cut the hair). My dad will probably be against it, but I don't really...answer to him as much as I do to my mom, since my parents have been divorced since I was seven and my brothers and I have been living with my mom ever since. I'm almost reluctant to do it for my mom's sake, because I think my dad blames her for the way my brothers and I have turned out (though in my opinion we've all turned out wonderful): among other things, we've all recently gone vegitarian, which my dad can't quite comprehend, and while my mom is fine with, and even supportive of, my Buddhist practice, I've yet to tell my dad because he just wouldn't get it. He's extremely...conservative in his attempts at parenting, while my mom I suppose is more liberal. He won't stop me -- he really can't -- but I know he will discourage it, most likely through ridicule in the form of supposedly good-natured teasing (that's his way). But I'm not too worried about it (though my family on his side, whom I'm fairly fond of, will certainly be shocked, but they probably won't freak out or get angry about it).
In addition to your input, I'm also going to ask my sixteen-year-old brother for his opinion. He's very concerned about image, but he's also a bit of a rebel himself, so he'll be honest with me and tell me if it's a bad idea. My uncle and aunt, who sort of helped my mom to raise us, might also be a source to go to, and I might even pose the question to some of my...acquaintances. I don't really have any close friends on campus, though I'm in contact with some through e-mail. Maybe I'll let them know.
Anyway, thanks again for your responses. I'm waiting for the opportune moment, as it were. But I'd better do something soon -- it's going to get cold very shortly...I'll need to buy a beanie, for sure...
Hi, Rambling!
Well, I think you should do what you want to do as long as you are old enough or have your parent's permission. Since you mentioned you are 18, then go for it! I have a shaved head and I am a 49-year-old woman! (Quelle, HORROR!) LOL! ROFLMAO! Actually, I worked in a foundry for many years before being laid off and I got so over-heated working in the place because the coolest spot in that darned place was around 100 degrees! YIKES! Talk about feeling par-boiled! That's the main reason I shaved my head. I am now in the corporate world and while I used to get funny looks from people at first, I don't anymore. Everyone seems to think my shaved head suits my "spiky and spunky" attitude! HEHEEHE! At least, that's what my kids, family, and friends say! LOL! Seriously, though, it's your head and if shaving it is what you want to do, then do it!
Adiana
Thank you very much for your enthusiasm! I think it's contagious -- I'm beaming as I type.
I don't go home until the Eigth of October, at the earliest, so I'll have to wait a bit -- and I do want to wait 'til I get home so that I can discuss it with my mom and brothers. Plus, my little brother will no doubt want to shave my head himself so that he might butcher my hair in the process. He'll probably give me a mullet for starters, and God only knows what else...
Ahem! Or burgundy or brown or grey (depending on what flavor Buddhist nun you were impersonating!) In fact, in Tibetan Buddhism we're not allowed to wear white under any circumstances, or green or black. I don't know why, but my guess is because white is the color of mourning in many Asian countries (so associated with death), black is the color of negativity, and green is the color of Islam, which imposed many hurts on Buddhism in the past (like in India).
Nothing at all wrong with shaving your head. BTW, you may have noticed that Tibetan Buddhist ordained don't usually completely shave their heads, unless they've just been ordained or it's some special event. Some in the "old country" even wear beards or moustaches. Probably because it gets a little brisk in the winters there. But shaving your head does have certain advantages, like the cost of visits to your local hair salon or barber shop, less likelihood to catch fleas, etc. As for image, I've never given a rat's patoot about that, so I'm probably not one to give you advice on that!
I used to have a little button that said, "Bald by Choice!"
Palzang