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I have just lost interest in attraction kind of thing that lovers has............
rohit
Maharrashtra Veteran
I don't feel that being lover is eternal thing as shown in fairy tales. I practice celibacy since birth due to cultural norm. But few years ago i was very in deep attracted towards someone, may be because that person was too beautiful to be human.
Now i just don't feel that being lover is immortal or life bondage. I now feel that getting attracted towards someone depends upon attractiveness and good nature of person. Or it is a biological matter just to create progeny like animals...
So, am i became grown up or robtic....what do you think?
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Comments
Stop trying to define it and enjoy the ride ... tears and all.
who cares? if it doesn't really matter to you, why would it matter to anyone else?
Do you think Monks are 'robotic'?
Some monks I have met are more "alive" than most people!
So you are distraught about a cat, but don't wanna get close to a human.
Hmmmmm...does that look like a problem?
Excuse me, but why do you practise celibacy? Are you a monk?
I don't want to sound disrespectful, but if you aren't, then celibacy is a useless fetter.
Rather, dive deep into the experience of love. Far more rewarding!
I think (like all things) this will pass and you'll be attracted to someone again at some stage in the future....
@rohit I think feeling attraction for somebody is a part of life. Even celebrant monks can feel attraction. They would choose not to indulge in the emotion.
Why not dive into this thing called life? Just try understand it for what it is
I wouldn't worry too much about before, or later, or whether you are robotic or not. Not wanting to have sex doesn't make a person not robotic. If you feel you must obey by the cultural requirements (I realize that in some areas it isn't much of a choice) then be secure with your choice and enjoy your life however you can.
@rohit
Life just isn't safe. Trying to make it so is understandable but has little to do with the Dharma that really just asks you to awaken from ignorance.
A Buddhist practice is not about pretending to be desire less, (my apologies if I am addressing a non-returner) but it is actually about how to respond to desires.
There are a vast array of desires that are possible. Believing oneself to be asexual, will not prevent countless other desires from presenting equal challenges.
@rohit Nothing is like the fairy tales. They take our desires and fears and weave a fantastical story that isn't how real life works, much like our dreams, fiction novels, movies and everything else that is inspired by imagination. "Attraction" and "love" also come in different varieties, and you may need to look at all this in hindsight to understand the path you've walked (right now you're just "somewhere" and unsure).
It's all part of growing up and experiencing these things, nothing unusual. You probably suffered from the "puppy love" stage before that wasn't actually very deep. It's not like you're going to be attracted on a deep level to just anyone. How someone looks physically is almost universally always a superficial attraction, and a deeper attraction may come about as you get to know them.
If your celibacy is not by choice, life is likely to present you with countless other opportunities where loving feelings arise.
Are you ready to continue to pledge to celibacy when you might not be ready to keep up the commitment? Celibacy is a vocation. Some of us are made for it, some not (certainly not me, Buddha forbid).
Wouldn't it be better to be honest to your feelings and to your commitments rather than to live in a self-imposed prison where natural feelings become unnatural?
Frankly, if one's celibacy is not by choice, I don't even think of it as celibacy.
what do you think of it as.....?
I mean, how would you refer to it, by way of an explanatory mode?
Really, I'm asking out of curiosity, it's not a challenge or anything....
I feel like I resonate with the OP's personal feelings. Maybe you have been given a gift? Maybe you should look to yourself with daily meditation.
lol...well, IMHO, if celibacy is not by choice, one is just "hard up"
again, to me, celibacy indicates a choice
What does hard up mean? edit** i mean, what do you mean by that?
I am tempted to LOL my own post, but I am curious. I havn't had sex in over 12 months and that is pretty much standard for me.
EDIT, well not "standard" when compared to the norms of society, but for me it is normal.
lol nevermind XD
I am still laughing about that joke that was posted recently 'we copied it down wrong - it didn't say be celibate it should have said celibrate. ... \lol / ..
I'm a very epicurean kind of girl and can't help being rather skeptical of celibacy, except when chosen out of deep-felt vocation for a religious path. You either have it or don't.
If you don't, the consequences of engaging in celibacy for whatever reason, could entail more danger than if you are able to own up to yourself that this is simply not the path for you. Sexual abuse within organized religious institutions is the example that springs to mind.
Other than that, explorer and Buddhist Alexandra David-Néel said about celibacy:
"Buddhism has never taught that the mere fact of remaining strictly celibate could lead the disciple to knowledge. No doubt it may give to him (or her) greater independence, by liberating him from moral ties and material burdens, and in thus rendering easier of attainment peace of mind, impartiality of opinion, and the freedom of judgement and action necessary to him who aspires to Wisdom; but neither chastity, nor voluntary poverty, nor any other ascetic practice can give intelligence to the stupid, or knowledge to the ignorant."
Don't feel. Think.
The OP has not revisited this thread since its inception; and is an infrequernt visitor in any case.
Am closing the thread, but should the OP return and request it be re-opened, I will gladly oblige.
Thanks to all for contributing.