In what ways does one not yet enlightened but following the path conduct themselves? [Relationships]
FleaMarket
Veteran
I fear I may have missed a lecture or two on relationships growing up. I am having difficulty narrowing down my focus.
I did not phrase these questions as seeking that of an enlightened point of view as I do not yet have confidence in my ability and would like to establish a base from which to cultivate deeper understanding.
In what ways does one not yet enlightened but following the path conduct themselves within friend-circles and family?
In what ways does one not yet enlightened but following the path conduct themselves when determining a friend?
When building a friendship?
Establishing healthy boundaries?
In what ways does one not yet enlightened but following the path conduct themselves when a loved one desires more than one can provide and in not providing to the loved one, the loved one is hurt?
In what ways would one not yet skillful in these methods of conduct become aware of such ignorance and how might practice take shape?
Comments
In a nutshell answer to all the questions
I guess one would conduct oneself in a Sati, Metta and Karuna manner, that is, being mindful, using loving kindness and compassion to overcome difficulties and to connect with others and this from what I gather comes from ongoing practice...
Tis said that 'Love' conquers all ...
“The time of our delusion does not obstruct the time of our realization. Our practice is not in order to attain realization. Practice itself is the actualization of realization."
~Dogen~
Can I suggest you're perhaps over thinking this?
Just try to be nice to people.
But if they're not nice in return then it probably depends on the relationship as to how you respond. I have a tweenage daughter who can be a right little s**t at times but she's my daughter so I stick it out and love her regardless. However, if it were a friend behaving in such a way I'd give them a few chances (apparently the Buddha suggested 7) then kick 'em to the curb......I've had to do this once or twice before.
But that's just me.
You may. I am.
I overthink because I suffer.
I suffer because I overthink.
As it pertains to relationships, this may be a knot a step or so ahead of where I perceive myself capable of untangling.
(In time) this too shall pass @FleaMarket ....
Well!
As well as we can.
You, I and every sentient existence is not perfect. Just so you know. Oh you did know …
The way you conduct yourself is up to you. Be Mindful, and practise Right Compassion, not Idiot Compassion.
How others conduct themselves is up to them. You cannot ever hope to change anyone. The best you can do is to be an inspirational influence.
"Measure it twice lad; you'll only cut it the once."
For now.
We do increase in ability, qualities, capacity. As we learn to observe, listen, experience arisings without judgement, so too does this stillness activate outward.
@FleaMarket;
There is a book by Franz Metcalf my first wife got me years ago called "What Would Buddha Do?"
May sound funny but it has quite a few scenarios and I found it very insightful.