Faking myself?
misecmisc1
I am a HinduIndia Veteran
hi all,
hope you all are doing fine. for the last 2 months, i have not been sitting in morning, as i was not getting time for it. these days i have been hearing dhamma talks from the web-site URL http://dharmaseed.org/talks/ . the talks are insightful there. it seems it comes down to here and now. the problem with us is that we initially create a problem for us by our thinking and then try to find a solution for it. may be an easy way would be to simply not create a problem at the first place, but due to our habits we may be creating problems for us. the problem here refers to the mental problems we create by our prapancha or by our thinking about things. anyways, the other problem relating to physical discomfort of the body would be there till we have a body - so that physical problem left as it is, may not be that difficult to bear with, than the pain arising due to our thinking around that physical pain or our thinking about the further problems which might be created in our future, due to that current physical discomfort.
i am trying to fake myself by trying to believe that whatever happens is ok. i have dropped the idea of attaining awakening, as this seems to suggest that there is something somewhere in future, which might be more better than here and now, but what i have is just here and now and whatever would happen, that would happen in here and now. some insightful sentences said by some wise persons are - this too shall pass. it is ok.
currently whenever i try to feel how i am feeling in here and now, usually i find some part of my face in an upward tensed position and then i breathe out to let that tensed muscle feel like going downward like in relaxing. so usually currently whenever i try to see if i am relaxed, then usually i am finding some part of my body near the chest and head is tensed, so i try to breathe out to relax that area of my body.
i am trying to at least fake myself in this type of living of just being in here and now 
. as far as concentration in my meditation is concerned, i have not been sitting for the last 2 months in a proper sitting manner, and before that when i was sitting, then also there was no concentration in my meditation, but now i do not think about this getting concentration stuff in meditation anymore. may be it is my laziness that currently i am not doing sitting meditation in a proper manner for even 5 minutes in the morning.
any suggestions/ideas please.
BTW how is your spiritual practice going? from the aged experienced spiritual practitioners here, any words of wisdom regarding life and how life should be lived as per your experience?
thanks in advance.
Comments
For me the whole idea of spiritual practice is falling away.
About 3 years ago I heard about enlightenment and something was sparked. A kind of feeling that I knew deep down there was truth in it.
So embarked on a fabulous spiritual quest that took me into Buddhism/Advaita Vedanta and a few other inquiry type practices.
Recently it's all dropped off since seeing that there is nobody doing any of this, the whole idea there is a person who is practicing anything is an appearance. The brain somehow fabricated a sense of a person who has choices and lives life.
But it was seen that there is no person, all there is is this. A spontaneous open vastness that is completely ungraspable.
Thoughts are not necessarily the problem, it's the belief that we are separate individuals. And that individual can't see the oneness.
Because the fact we believe we are individuals creates all the duality.
So I really don't know what to do anymore, my goal was to reach enlightenment and now I know there is nobody to reach it. In fact it isn't a thing. It's this without "me"
Nobody to die, because nobody was born.
In a way it is almost like the death of us.
So that's why I don't practice, there is nobody who can reach this because it's the belief in a somebody that prevents them from seeing the oneness that is already here.
There really is nothing I can do, things just happen. The brain is dreaming this existence.
You want advice from an aged experienced spiritual practitioner, do you? Take care of your teeth. Force yourself to floss when you brush, because it really does make a difference.
As for the unimportant stuff, allow yourself to grow up, mentally and spiritually. When you first heard about how great Buddhism was, you thought as a child. Enlightenment was being able to handle whatever life throws at us with a smile and word of wisdom. All that crap that made us miserable would be gone. Who doesn't want that? It's ice cream every day and unicorns farting rainbows once we level up to Master in the video game of life.
Instead, we get handed a tool bag called the Dharma, and told it's our job to fix the leaky plumbing in the crawl spaces of our mind. The meditation that seemed so exotic and thrilling is now just another chore like doing the dishes. We realize that if we did meet Buddha on the road to enlightenment, he'd probably only borrow ten bucks off us that we'd never see back.
Congratulations. You're growing up, spiritually that is. Now when you read where the Master said "Enlightenment is nothing special" you'll nod and know what he's talking about. You know that a lifetime of practicing meditation only makes you very, very good at meditating. There is no Santa Clause and enlightenment is getting up in the morning, grabbing your bag of Dharma tools, and telling the world, "Bring it on."
Is this the advice from an aged experienced spiritual practitioner you're looking for?
It sounds like you are practising mindfulness of the body, which is said to be very powerful in the suttas.
Anyway, it's up to you, nobody is saying you have to meditate or whatever, go with what feels right at the moment. Personally I find life is more interesting when I'm practising, but people are different.
@misecmisc1 -- Yup, that'll backfire every time. But the only way to find that out is to do it over and over again for a while. "Yo world! I'm a Buddhist! Everything is kool! It is what it is, man!" It may be heart-felt and sincere and loving and a lot of other good stuff, but the fact is that it's fake ... it's pushing a river that doesn't need pushing.
OK, so you, me and everyone else goes through a hundred bits of fake-ness. And then it just gets old: You don't need to TRY to be alive to be alive, so you might as well relax and live instead.
The format called Buddhism is a good one. It points in honest directions. It's good stuff but its object is not to BELIEVE anything in particular or to become something called a "Buddhist." No need to fake it. So, after faking it often enough, maybe it's time to stop faking it an see how that works out. Sometimes things are OK. Sometimes not.
Just keep on keepin' on.
I find sitting meditation helpful but truth be told I see it as a recharging of the batteries rather than a means to find any answers.
For me, nothing is easier than Metta meditation. Thoughts of love and a devotional attitude towards the Good make concentration very easy. From Metta one can develop posture skills and the like. Love is easy; it's the stuff from which we are made. Don't fight it: Use it!
That is important. It is why we can take refuge in the three jewels. In essence and heart Buddha, Dharma and Sangha have integrity, where we may be deluded, dishonest fakes [lobster hangs head in shame]
Developing personal integrity and honesty is first acknowledging 'Huston we have a problem' or NT1
What is a gal do?
Find the Middle Way. Fake it, till we make it. Practice till we understand.
So simple. So good. So long ...
I don't know if this will be helpful at all but it sounds like you are experiencing the conundrum I went through a while back.
As if there is no particular style or reason in mind to sit except that you figure you should and are constantly told it's beneficial.
Right now, I just sit and start with samatha and see where it goes. I've been getting migraines a bit lately and it interferes with vipassana, lol.
I see samatha as recharging my batteries which helps me stay aware. It's hard to get to the stage where it's comforting to sit and calm the mind and before then sitting can seem like a chore.
I found that for myself, if I sit to do samatha and things pop up that can lead me into vipassana, I just return to focusing on the invisible dot about five feet in front of me and keep my eyes slightly open.
If I do have something like a koan or a sutta I'm trying to make sense of and actually want to initiate vipassana, I have my eyes closed and when I feel myself starting to day dream about stories of daily life I open my eyes and reread the sutta or recite the koan.
I find that if I don't know which one I want to do I kind of go back and forth between styles and never get even a solid ten minutes in. That can get frustrating.
well, the idea behind me in thinking this thing is that - it is said that each moment is complete in itself, so everything that happens is ok and it cannot be anyother way than it is - so can't contentment be tried to be developed by faking to believe that whatever happens is ok?
any thoughts/suggestions here, please.
as far as meditation is concerned, i do want to sit, but somehow i am not getting time for sitting - it could be laziness on my behalf, but i don't want to make myself suffer over the fact that i am not able to sit - and even if i sit, i do not have any calm in my meditation. so the thought that - anyways, there is nothing to achieve out there after doing meditation and meditation is done to let go of things, rather than to get anything - helps me to relax sometimes. may be i am using this reasoning to cover up for my laziness and my casual attitude.
It is a mistake to consider that whatever happens is ok.
That's not the point.
The point is to understand that everything that happens is as it is, because it is as it is. This is to accept the unfolding of incidents and experiences you cannot influence of affect.
However, when something directly includes or affects you, you need to be able to distinguish and discern what good it can do you, and what constructive response you can generate, to create a positive outcome and to generate good Kamma.
You also detach and do not cling to the desire of a specific outcome.
That's the trick to master.
To follow, act, and influence, without permitting the result to disturb you or throw you off-course.
You cannot and SHOULD not, 'fake' such an experience.
You must deal with it, sincerely, openly and with Wisdom & Compassion.
You observe, perceive, evaluate, decide, act, permit the result to arise, and let go of expectations.
Simple.
Yes. Meditation is not necessarily quantity. It's more Quality.
Even successfully meditating for 30 seconds, 10 times in one day, is better a solid 5 minutes spent unproductively.
Until you can act with metta and kindness, then try diplomacy and courtesy.
Until you can meditate, sit like a Buddha and pretend you are still.
In other words practice restraint and sila to the best of your capacity.
The idea of integrity and being honest means pseudo wisdom is the shadow, the glove of the real being and hand. So try and be wise and just and ... all the usual qualities ...
Iz plan!
Just try to see the teachings of the Buddha, and don't worry so much about meditation.
It 'ain't the ritual', so you can just 'fake it till you make it'.
i guess keeping it simple to just breathing out, whenever i am finding my body tensed and feeling the body muscle going downward - might be ok currently. the only problem being to remember to do this relaxing activity.
i think it all comes down to moment by moment in zen. since moment can be so small that we cannot hold on to it, so from time perspective, neither past nor future nor even present can be hold on to. so what is this - remains as a question on each moment. the problem being the habitual tendency of mind to create story from the sensory experience.
i guess what is said in zen koans about cutting of all streams of thoughts, words and ideas, is to bring us to here and now. what is in here and now, this i try to find sometime, by just trying to make my body still for a second, but i do not find anything in here and now, just that seeing/hearing is occurring. may be that is why stillness needs to be developed by long hours of sitting to make the body more still and mind somewhat still to see clearly what is in here and now. anyways i will not make myself suffer over the fact that i am not able to sit still for even 5 minutes, so concentration by stilling of mind is out of question. but it is ok. i guess i will just try to just breathing out, whenever i am finding my body tensed and i remember to breathe out to relax my that body part
.
Sounds like iz plan of practice. A good one too.
In the words of Bodhi Vulcan:
Live long and prosper
hi all,
this weekend i would be alone at my rented flat at my work-city as my family is currently at my native-city. so this saturday and sunday i am thinking of trying to have a retreat experience at home (kind of this activity i did earlier, if some of you remember) - but this time few things might be different - firstly i have not been sitting for even 5 min on many days in the last 2 months nearly, as many days went without me sitting in the morning, may be due to my laziness, so going for a 2 day retreat at home may turn out to be a joke all together, but still i am thinking of making this saturday and sunday into a 2 day retreat - secondly these days i have dropped my goal of awakening, so may be a more casual approach i have now. but i am thinking to try to sit in this weekend.
any suggestions, please. thanks in advance.