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Hello all, I hope everyone is doing well!
I have a situation with my husband that I would like a Buddhist perspective on, and I would be grateful if anyone can offer me advice or opinions.
It is an embarrassing and rather depressing situation to be in, hopefully not an inappropriate one to be sharing here.
To sum it up, my husband has just revealed - with much hesitation and after much prodding from me - that I am not dressing well enough to entice him or make him want to have sex with me. And he has suggested that if I just dressed better, just be more 'vain' in his words, this won't be happening. We have been together for almost 4 years now (if this added bit of information makes a difference).
To set the record straight, he is a good man, respectful, kind, loving and affectionate, great in so many ways. But the sexual intimacy that is missing between us upsets me, being a woman in my 30's with a healthy sex drive and a need to physically connect on a deeper level.
My biggest problem with this is that I try hard to practice Buddhis values and principles in my everyday life, but this entire situation seems to go against everything that I've been trying to cultivate - namely not placing importance on vanity, superficial appearances and sexual behaviour. On the other hand, sexual intimacy is important to me and I don't want to have to forego it either.
I feel lost right now, unsure of what to do, because of this dilemma. If anyone has any advice for me, I would greatly appreciate your help and input.
Much love and thanks for reading this.