What do you tell yourself for encouragment when you don't feel like meditating?

osmosis

I try to remind myself of how I will feel afterward - which is different from how I feel prior to... Even so, sometimes it is still difficult in hard times. How do you handle these situations?

ShiftPlusOne

I don't tell, I ask.

clearview

I remember the law of karma. Our actions now have a direct consequence on our future self, future situation, and future happiness. If you can't learn to sit still in the here and now, you never will.

Yacababy

I remind myself of my ultimate goal. The cessation of suffering. It makes me realize that meditating means so much more to me than sitting doing nothing. It is a practice that brings me closer to my ultimate goal. It also helps to remember that with meditation comes increased understanding which can help me to ease the suffering of others. It is a catalyst.
With love, Jen

Zayl

If I don't feel like meditating, then I don't do it. No need to force myself.

fivebells

What makes it hard, osmosis?

Yacababy

Also a good point Zayl

Arjquad

Same as Zayl if I don't feel like it I don't, even though I should do it much more than I really do.

osmosis

I like the alternate perspectives..

What makes it hard, osmosis?

At times when I feel restless or otherwise don't feel well, the thought of sitting still does not seem so inviting. I'm also aware that It is often harder to quiet my mind during those times and sitting to listen to a stressed monkey mind until it calms down seems less inviting than usual. I talk to myself to overcome the feeling and welcome everyone's approach.

hermitwin

I dont have to meditate. I can do sth else.

buddhajunkie

Contemplate that when you don't meditate because you "don't feel like it" then you are letting your whims and your internal sensations dictate your spiritual life.

And when you choose to meditate despite not "feeling like it", you are exercising that part of you that will lead to liberation. The very act of choosing to do something that you don't feel like doing is analogous to concentration and mindfulness in meditation.

At times when I feel restless or otherwise don't feel well, the thought of sitting still does not seem so inviting. I'm also aware that It is often harder to quiet my mind during those times and sitting to listen to a stressed monkey mind until it calms down seems less inviting than usual. I talk to myself to overcome the feeling and welcome everyone's approach.

Try walking meditation. Very good for restless mind. I believe this is because the sensation of walking is more pronounced than breathing, and it is the subtlety of breathing that often lets the monkey mind take over.


Here's a good video:


Here's a good section on walking meditation from "In This Very Life."

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/pesala/Pandita/html/morality.html

osmosis

Buddhajunkie, this is a good idea and the walking demonstration is helpful, thank you.

The very act of choosing to do something that you don't feel like doing is analogous to concentration and mindfulness in meditation.

This is well put.

Arjquad

I love the video, I've always wondered how to do walking meditation but never really got around to trying to find out how.

fivebells

At times when I feel restless or otherwise don't feel well, the thought of sitting still does not seem so inviting. I'm also aware that It is often harder to quiet my mind during those times and sitting to listen to a stressed monkey mind until it calms down seems less inviting than usual.

When you push through that resistance and sit anyway, how do you feel at the end?

osmosis

When you push through that resistance and sit anyway, how do you feel at the end?

I almost always feel better and that's when I hear a sort of "told you so" inside me (but not in any taunting, you know). It is just hard to want to begin when I'm feeling restless because the initial part is unpleasant as I wait for the monkey to calm down and this part is usually longer when I'm feeling restless or stressed. Sometimes it makes my session go on for longer because I don't like to end it until I have sat for a good while with a calm, focused mind. It requires more time and patience than usual and that patience is inconveniently harder to come by during stress. My memory of the initial phase tricks my mind because when I think, "it's time to meditate now," I will sometimes remember the difficulty that immediately awaits more than the end result.

@buddhajunkie I tried a walking meditation and this felt more agreeable. I have tried walking meditation before but never with the sort of structure explained in this video. It is a very good positive reinforcer when being still is not what my body wants to do and mental distractions make me stop walking until it leaves. Thank you for sharing this.

fivebells

Sounds like you're on the right track. Ignore the folks telling you not to meditate when this stuff comes up.

Also, walking meditation is likely to stir you up more than calm you down, though it's worth a try. Something else worth a try, and more likely to work, IMO, is meditating lying down.

JeremyKS1

I don't really tell myself anything; I just do. A couple of other meditators and I have recently set a goal of 90 sits in 90 days (similar to "90 meetings in 90 days" that you see in some recovery groups) and the effort to reach that goal is what gets me on the cushion. It's working too. I've found that when I think, "I don't want to" I'm really just being lazy and I'm happier for it when I ignore the lasiness.

That's my experience.

FyreShaman

Every time I really don't feel like attending a class or feel like meditating at home, I can now encourage myself by remembering that every time I've been reluctant I have actually had a really fruitful and positive session.

Does this mean I should demotivate myself more often? LOL

tess

Contemplate that when you don't meditate because you "don't feel like it" then you are letting your whims and your internal sensations dictate your spiritual life.

And when you choose to meditate despite not "feeling like it", you are exercising that part of you that will lead to liberation. The very act of choosing to do something that you don't feel like doing is analogous to concentration and mindfulness in meditation.

At times when I feel restless or otherwise don't feel well, the thought of sitting still does not seem so inviting. I'm also aware that It is often harder to quiet my mind during those times and sitting to listen to a stressed monkey mind until it calms down seems less inviting than usual. I talk to myself to overcome the feeling and welcome everyone's approach.

Try walking meditation. Very good for restless mind. I believe this is because the sensation of walking is more pronounced than breathing, and it is the subtlety of breathing that often lets the monkey mind take over.


Here's a good video:


Here's a good section on walking meditation from "In This Very Life."

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/pesala/Pandita/html/morality.html

Thank you!!!

buddhajunkie

@buddhajunkie I tried a walking meditation and this felt more agreeable. I have tried walking meditation before but never with the sort of structure explained in this video. It is a very good positive reinforcer when being still is not what my body wants to do and mental distractions make me stop walking until it leaves. Thank you for sharing this.

That's great. Two points:

- Stopping walking when there's a distraction isn't something that all (or even most) instructors recommend. However, stick with what works for you.

- You might want to do a hybrid session where the first half is walking and the second half is sitting. You can find out whether walking settles your mind down enough to do sitting. However, you can also choose walking as your primary method if it seems more promising.


Gratuitous opinion: Logistics aside, I think walking meditation should be the primary method introduced to beginners. It's easier to concentrate on walking, it helps many people with restlessness, and it definitely helps with sloth/torpor. Unfortunately, it's tough to do inside a meditation center, so I suppose that's one reason why it's not more popular. (Yes, the group can form a ring and walk in circles, but I think it's a lot harder to get concentrated doing it this way.)

osmosis

@buddhajunkie If they were to practice walking meditation in a ring formation, I would hope they would not also stop to pay attention to mental distractions because everyone would have to stop. This could be very funny looking. ^_^

You have a good idea - walking meditation to ease into focus and then sit. I will try that. I was able to sit today without walking first.. in the end I was smiling thinking, why is that so hard to begin? The mind is so funny.

I'm thinking maybe I could also try substituting walking meditation with a short form of Tai Chi and compare them on how well they prepare me to sit.. Does anyone happen to know of any short forms that might be especially good with restlessness? I have learned under an instructor but she taught a long form and I only want something relatively short to ease my mind into sitting. But the walking meditation is a good helper for now.

@JeremyKS1 what a good idea to get social support by doing it together as a team. I imagine it could make the struggle to do it feel less personal plus you probably wouldn't want to disappoint your group..

@Yeshe I agree, the transformation of my mind after meditating in hard times seems more dramatic going from restless to peaceful as opposed to normal to peaceful. So that is the time when we really need it!

@fivebells Why do you think lying meditation is good for restlessness? I have tried meditating while lying down and I've found it's harder to focus and clear my mind this way because I get too comfortable, I start to feel heavy and easily slip into the dreamy subconscious state that comes just before sleep.

JeremyKS1

@osmosis Actually, we don't really do it "as a team" nor are accountable to each other. It's more that one guy had the idea and the rest of us just picked it up and ran with it on an individual level. We do, however, share our experiences with each other, so that helps keep us motivated. I guess that's a sort of accountability, but there's no real pressure. And, yes, the social support comes in handy. And I guess it would be a bit embarrassing to tell them I dropped out, if that were the case.

fivebells

Why do you think lying meditation is good for restlessness? I have tried meditating while lying down and I've found it's harder to focus and clear my mind this way because I get too comfortable, I start to feel heavy and easily slip into the dreamy subconscious state that comes just before sleep.

*Shrug* Works that way for me (and others.) You should do what works for you, though.

Vincenzi

If I don't feel like meditating, then I don't do it. No need to force myself.

same here, better not to force meditation.

if I'm undecided; I think of just relaxing and eventually the meditation starts.

person

I like to think of the prayer for the 4 immesurables, we pray for happiness and the CAUSES of happiness, to be free from suffering and the CAUSES of suffering. Or the first two lines of Shantideva's stanza:

"We who are like senseless children
Shrink from suffering, but love its causes.
We hurt ourselves; our pain is self-inflicted!
Why should others be the object of our anger?"

Meditation is the cause of happiness. The irony at first is that it can often feel like suffering and the causes of suffering generally feel like happiness. After some time of regular practice you have enough experience to look back and see how the practice of Buddhism has helped you become happier and you can use that knowledge to help.

I also find it useful to set a time limit, at least for myself its easier to force myself to sit for 20 minutes if I don't feel like it than to imagine some indeterminant, never ending, meditation session. Or I'll focus on a mantra instead if I really don't feel like looking at my mind.

osmosis

@person thank you this is helpful, a mantra can remind us of why we meditate when we don't want to do it.

Your post reminds me of the quotes thread here, "greed is like honey on a blade" -monk

I use a timer too, my length is either 15 or 30 minutes, depending on what I have time for.

seeker242

I heard some once say "Zazen (sitting meditation) totally sucks! But I'm sticking with it. Hell, it's only a 1/2 hour of time. I spend more time than that watching stupid crap on TV. Which activity is a better use of my time? Certainly not TV."

juanorellana

usually if i dont want to meditate is because. i feel somewhat at peace with my self.
also, sometimes i just dont feel motivated because it is hard to focus.
however, usually if i cant focus it means that i need to meditate.

i hope this helps