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Harboring Hatred
MindGate
United States Veteran
So, I am full of hate. I hate the owner of those big dogs down the street. I hate my dad's old boss. I hate a lot of people at my school.
But most of all... I hate Christians. Just, they seem so full of hatred that it seems to make me full of hatred. Their stupidity and logic a lot of the time... just... UGH, I want to punch them. They upset me so much. Especially when they say I am going to Hell for not believing in the same thing they do. Thats what gets me. Thats the hate that I see that fills me full of hate.
How can I stop this? I mean... I know its a MAJOR issue that I'm facing. Sure, you could just simply say, "Don't hate them, forgive." But thats easier said than done, especially when you have to deal with people daily saying you deserve eternal torture, torment, and suffering just because you're not like them.
But most of all... I hate Christians. Just, they seem so full of hatred that it seems to make me full of hatred. Their stupidity and logic a lot of the time... just... UGH, I want to punch them. They upset me so much. Especially when they say I am going to Hell for not believing in the same thing they do. Thats what gets me. Thats the hate that I see that fills me full of hate.
How can I stop this? I mean... I know its a MAJOR issue that I'm facing. Sure, you could just simply say, "Don't hate them, forgive." But thats easier said than done, especially when you have to deal with people daily saying you deserve eternal torture, torment, and suffering just because you're not like them.
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Comments
You've established a mental habit of reacting with hate. Habits can be changed, but you have to want to change the habits. (Using mindfulness, replace the hateful thoughts with other thoughts.) Let's see what other people say.
throw at people you hate.
I went to the doctor the other day and he brought up his Christian faith and was saying he thinks that Christianity is taking Buddhism 'a step further' for some reason I don't remember.
I think a virtuous life is a virtuous life. In aiming so we should also overcome hate.
Ill-will is poison, don't let it come to that point, they're human like everyone else.
I'm sensing that you're being bullied in school. I was also bullied to the extreme, and I actually look back now that I'm older and see how it contributed to my compassion for others. I want to get to know people who are down, and lift their spirits. Would I ever be so compelled if I didn't go through similar suffering? I also spent a lot of time trying to understand how people can hurt others without seeming to understand how far-reaching the effects of their abuse are. The simple answer is ignorance. Most people do not realize how hurtful words can be, and they often freely criticize without realizing that others may be sensitive, and that hurtful words are often not forgotten.
When Buddhism asks us to cultivate compassion, it doesn't just mean "Blanket the world with compassion". Sometimes it means you first have to step outside the experience and objectively view both sides so you can see why this person ticks. The you can choose whether or not you want to be offended. In this way it's easier to cultivate compassion.
Just saying.
(on a side note- I do remember my teachers being unfairly slanted in their favor. Most of the christian kids got away with not doing science homework when it conflicted with religious views. I remember answering a science question that asked why a tree grows a certain way in such and such environment, "Because god wanted it to grow that way." I got full points on the answer because the teacher's hands were tied *face-palm*.)
I would try very hard to avoid conversations where religion can come up. If there are instigators who harass you, don't let them get to you. I've had people in my life who would try and make me angry just to get a reaction.
I hope some of this can help!
The Buddha teaches purity in words , thoughts, action ( Sila) and doing good deeds to a number of lay people that are interested in going to heaven . That is one of the three divisions of the Eightfold Path. When they are ready , he moves on to teach them the other two division ( meditation and wisdom) of the Eightfold path also . The practice of all three division of the Eightfold path leads to Awakening.
Part of Jesus' teaching is similar to the Buddha's Sila division , which is also about purity in words, thought, action, and doing good deeds ( ex: keeping the commandments and charity, etc..). This would lead to heaven. However, in the Buddha's teaching, it doesn't matter if a person is Christian or Buddhist, if he/she practice this then it becomes the cause that lead to positive outcome . One of those outcome is heavenly existence. I believe people might have misunderstood Jesus' teaching and thought that one has to be a Christian as well.
Jesus also teach people to love even one's enemy. This is similar to the Buddha's concept of metta toward even bandits , enemies , and the like .
When people share the teaching of Jesus with you, why not help them understand the aspects that both religion have in common. That way it is easier to see eye to eye. One of the problem is that many Christians might not be familiar with the Buddha's teaching at all, therefore do not realize that both teachings are similar when it comes to the way to heaven.
When it comes to enlightenment, then we have to also practice meditation and develop insight ( the other two division) .
Best wishes,
You can answer with a simple "Indeed." to the "You are going to burn in hell ! My God is better than your God!" problem.
I know, I hate a lot of people in my school. I mean nearly everyone in that school. Why ? Because they hate me too, for being different. Why am I being different to them ? Because I'm not into self-worship like they are ( facebook, the rush to get driver's license-> most of the 17-18 year olds in nearly all the schools in Bucharest have one,). But still, recently I found a way to harbour my hatred : I pick up my pencil and draw my "high-school life" as I see it on a notebook. After that I laugh at what I have drawn, and , if I want to, Ishow what I did to others who understand me for more laugh.
Ultimately, as with most things it's an answer you must find within yourself. But that can seem an insurmountable task some days, so I leave you with two things:
1) A Lennonism. (I can't remember the exact quote) but it was along the lines of "act calmly. They won't know what to do with you!" (Similar to what NomaD Buddha said). Easier said than done, but worth it!
2) You seem to be pretty expressive fellow. But as someone with something of a bottleneck between my brain and my mouth I often find music helps unstick, clarify and jumpstart things. Not sure where your musical tastes lie, but Sean Hayes' Big Black Hole & The Little Baby Star is a nice song essentially about life's inescapable problems!
Hatred
The symptoms of hatred can show up as anger, hostility, dislike, aversion, or ill-will; wishing harm or suffering upon another person. With aversion, we habitually resist, deny, and avoid unpleasant feelings, circumstances, and people we do not like. We want everything to be pleasant, comfortable, and satisfying all the time. This behavior simply reinforces our perception of duality and separation. Hatred or anger thrusts us into a vicious cycle of always finding conflict and enemies everywhere around us. When there is conflict or perceived enemies around us, our mind is neurotic, never calm, we are endlessly occupied with strategies of self-protection or revenge. We can also create conflict within ourselves when we have an aversion to our own uncomfortable feelings. With hatred and aversion, we deny, resist, and push away our own inner feelings of fear, hurt, loneliness, and so forth, treating these feelings like an internal enemy. With the poison of hatred, we create conflict and enemies in the world around us and within our own being.
The Antidotes
In addition to meditation practice, there are also the antidotes or alternatives to the three poisons. For every defilement, the Buddha has given us the antidote, the method whereby we eliminate unwholesome mental attitudes and replace them with virtuous, wholesome attitudes which benefit ourselves and others. Therefore, the entire aim of spiritual practice is to gradually subdue the poisons of greed, hatred, and delusion by cultivating the alternative mental factors that are directly opposed to them. These antidotes are called the three wholesome roots: non-greed, non-hatred, and non-delusion.
To antidote and overcome hatred, we learn to cultivate loving-kindness, compassion, patience, and forgiveness. When we react to unpleasant feelings, circumstances, or people, with hatred, anger, or aversion, we can use these sublime antidotes to counteract the poisons. Here we learn to openly embrace the entire spectrum of our experiences without hatred or aversion. Just as we practice meeting unpleasant experiences in the outer world with patience, kindness, forgiveness, and compassion, we must also practice meeting our own unpleasant feelings in the same way. Our feelings of loneliness, hurt, doubt, fear, insecurity, inadequacy, depression, and so forth, all require our openness and loving-kindness. Our challenge in spiritual practice is to soften our habitual defenses, open our heart, and let go of hatred, aversion, and denial. In this way, we can meet and embrace ourselves, others, and all inner and outer
experiences with great compassion and wisdom.
>How can I stop this?
You have to deliberately try and cultivate this compassion and kindness, which takes practice. Kindness and hatred can not co exist in the mind. They are mutually exclusive. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metta
(I agree with the other suggestions, too, re: practicing loving-kindness meditation, etc.)