repent

Fenix

how do we start off again after messing things up completely. After we have knowingly did our bad habits. when you've realized that your doing the same old, but felt no compunction to do anything about. after that how do we begin again.

every weekend when I get on holidays I just indulge in my vices for two days and when I go back I "become" all holy and yada yada. You probably know what I mean.

I can' just jump back to "now I am aware and hope the best for all living beings". Since I didn' care just a second ago how they were?

should I ask Buddha for forgiveness or from the people I've hurt or my self I don' know. I almost feel like I have to do these things when on holiday, but I know I do every time

Malachy12

Well, what did you do on holiday? Punch an elderly woman, or have a few beers and smoke a joint? I really think it depends on what your vice is.

You could ask Buddha for forgiveness, but I think you missed the boat because he died a while back.

Linc

You start again and try harder. Buddha doesn't forgive or judge, he just had some good advice.

Linc

Maybe forgive yourself.

Fenix

I dont think the vice is important or it is I guess. but a lot of little vices add up, especially every weekend of every month always the same. I feel so stupid

Malachy12

Well sometimes there are situations that test your ability to be calm and compassionate. When I was getting stressed at work I brought a little Buddha charm (yellow guy flashing a peace sign). Every-time I dug into my scrub pocket for a pen, I'd touch little Buddha guy who seemed to say "Hey, so what if you're short-staffed, and falling way behind. Remember to be compassionate with your co-workers and smile at the patients."It really did work. I was feeling much calmer in the chaos, and I managed to stay cheerful on the job.

I also brought my little chanting beads to school. Before exams I recited heart sutra, just to keep me from flying into panic mode.
If you are not being mindful, and you are frustrated that you fall off track. Then bring a little reminder with you. It could be as simple as a circle drawn in pen on the back of your hand.
It sounds silly, but when I borrow my gf's car... there is a catholic thing hanging from the sun visor. It's saint...somebody... It's a blessing to keep you safe from car wrecks. Every time I touch that visor, I remember what he symbolizes. That's why I tend to wear my seat belt more often in that car.

seeker242

Breaking the precepts have consequences. The solution is to stop breaking them. Of course that may require discipline and practice.

aMatt

Fenix,

That idea comes up a lot, especially in the beginning. "I wasn't mindful just now, how can I expect to become mindful now? I've proven I'm incapable of being good, I knew not to do that and I did it anyway."

That set of thinking is ego and you can set it aside, let it go. Much like in meditation, when we notice our attention has been straying, just bring it back when you remember. The more practice we get at fluxuating between mindful awareness/compassion and heedlessness/apathy, the less it comes up. Like when we stub our toe, we might get angry at the couch, that's normal. Then, when the pain subsides, get back to the observation. Eventually you won't become angry, and simply notice the odd sensation.

Practicing buddhism isn't about being saintly and good... that is just your ego wanting to look better in the mirror. You're normal, its ok... this moment is ripe to get back into the practice.

With warmth,

Matt

Jeffrey

Notice if your vices make you happy. Don't be divided with a self knocking the other self for indulging and the indulger feeling resentful. Just go full force in what you do. If you do a vice then you own it. Leave yourself no out as pure or impure; just do what you do. Bust yourself.

being

...

OMG you Matt you! Stop being so awesomely insightful with every one of your posts. :eek:

>


(btw, we really could use a heart emoticon on this forum!)

genkaku

As the Japanese say, "Fall down seven times, get up eight." Everything we do, whether vice or virtue, has a shelf life ... it wears out after a while. But to notice things is a very good starting point. When you pay attention, things tend to go their way more quickly.

Hawkins

You aren't punished for your bad actions, you're punished by them.
Also, like Malachy said, did you go kill someone or just drink a bit? It really doesn't matter, just as long as you can pick your self back up again and continue your practice. There is no hell or heaven to go to, except the one we build ourselves. Make the best of right now, forget about then, and continue on.
-T.H

fivebells

@Fenix, you sound conflicted about indulging your vices. What imperatives compell you to indulge them?

footiam

Just live your life. If you have to 'vice', 'vice' but you have to accept too the consequences that is if there is any.

Fenix

@Fenix, you sound conflicted about indulging your vices. What imperatives compell you to indulge them?

just the feeling that I want to

NOTaGangsta

Repenting sincerely is hard
Still end up making the same mistake from time to time!

Don't relax with *small* things. They are the biggest things because thats how your habit accumlates.

Spaceless

Knife can be used as a convenient tool to kill or preparing food. Knife itself does not causes vices. Likewise to the vice for pleasure and/or indulgence that resulted to addiction and inflict suffering. More often than not, vices would develop into conflict of interests and pernicious act, unless it's being self-organised conscientiously, considerately, harmoniously and awareness of its limitation and social implication. On the other note, "vices" is merely a label, if handled appropriately will become recreational, entertainment and mutual healthy interactions for most "vice-goers", its family and the society

fivebells

just the feeling that I want to

So you want to, but then you later regret it. Where is the regret when you want to? What's keeping it out of view?

Fenix

just the feeling that I want to

So you want to, but then you later regret it. Where is the regret when you want to? What's keeping it out of view?

fear

fivebells

@Fenix, I understand. I suggest you cultivate metta when the fear arises, joy when the urge to muck around (or to continue to muck around) arises, and equanimity when the shame about indulging arises. Committing to this isn't explicitly committing to abandoning the vices. You can always take up the vice again when you're done cultivating.