from study to practice

maaike

Hello everybody,
I've discovered this forum a few days ago and am very excited about the many interesting discussions! I've started studying buddhism seriously about 6 months ago and have been looking for a place to share my experiences. There aren't any places where I live, so I'm very happy with this alternative (for now anyway).

I could really use some advice on the following:
I love studying texts and thinking about what I read when I read it. I have the most profound insights (or so I think) and know what I should do (be more generous, not wanting to be right all the time, be more compassionate). Everything I read about buddhism feels like coming home, I know it is right and that feels great.
But then my daily life starts again and I forget almost everything until the next time I study. It's the same with meditation: I read more about it, then I do it. And every time I plan to do it every day, but always something comes up (I have two small children and work). (and when I sign up for a group, I go once and almost always have a reason not to go again..)
How do I make the gap between what I read and what I do smaller? I always think I just have to have more discipline, but so far that hasnt been working.

I'm looking forward to some tips!
much metta,
Maaike

Simonthepilgrim

KBA! (Keep b*ggering on: Churchill's motto). Keep coming back, over and over again. Study, reflect, practise and I'll bet that, after time, you will have crested a 'line of least resistance' towards a practice-based life.

Ficus_religiosa

Also, instead of starting out by plunging head-first into a lot of theory try to just keep some precepts and following the 8-fold path to the best of your ability. The next time you find yourself indulging in dharma texts, stop and meditate - if you had the time to read, you might as well use it meditating
Meditation is the best way to insight imho

person

Cultivating a happy, virtuous Dharma mind just takes time and effort so keep it up! As you gain more experience over time you'll be able to look back and see for yourself the change your efforts have brought which will give you more confidence.

Theswingisyellow

As Simon says keep at it. I have 2 boys ages 5 and 7, I am married and am a night shift charge nurse in an emergency room, but I do my best to find the time. May I suggest that you set aside a space, either in a room in your home or outside or both(I have a room with a small shrine set up and a rock I sit on at my creek)that you can go to for meditation. There you can be alone with no distractions. Try to set a particular time in the day that you can go there and meditate. I try to get up early and meditate before everyone gets up and I also meditate after my sons are asleep. I also try to read and contemplate some of the Dhamma before I go to sleep. As to incorporating aspects of the path that you have learned or have had insight on, know this is a slow process. You are going against ingrained habitual patterns but as your practice deepens, more and more you will find you are choosing that which is skillfull rather than that which is harmful. I hope that is helpful
All the best in your practice,
Todd

genkaku

Maaike -- The fact that you are asking the question means you are making headway, in my opinion. The step from books to practice is not always quick and easy. But try looking through the other end of the telescope: A lot of people take up Buddhism and get no further than a revered text or two. I'm not suggesting you rest on your laurels, but I am suggesting you enjoy a little perspective and grant yourself some patience.

If you have two kids and a job, that is a lot of responsibility. Family comes first. Buddhism as a practice is a matter of paying attention and taking responsibility and if there's anything that requires more attention and responsibility than kids, I don't know what it is. Take your time. Line your ducks up -- family, work, Buddhism, perhaps -- and then act.

As to finding some room for a meditation practice, you might try shortening your focus. One day at a time is probably enough. Look into tomorrow and, as best you can, discover a time when you might have ten or fifteen minutes for meditation. If you can foresee such a time, then promise yourself to use it for meditation. Promise seriously. Make a promise, keep a promise. When the appointed time comes, do what you promised. If there is something serious that comes up and you cannot do what you promised, don't make excuses. Don't say, "I can't meditate because the toilet broke and I had to call the plumber." Say only, "I choose not to meditate." That is enough. At the end of each day, try to discover that sliver of time when you can meditate tomorrow. Make your promise. Keep your promise. It may be hit or miss when you start, but if you keep trying, eventually it will get easier.

Best wishes in your practice.

Mind_Zenith

For me, it was as simple as memorising passages of whatever I was studying. Just sentences. I also had a mantra-of-sorts, "Namu Myoho Renge Kyo", which to me represented my submitting (Namu[jp] means 'I take refuge') to the Lotus Sutra, which is the source of my teachings (Myoho Renge Kyo [jp] is the Japanese title of the Lotus Sutra, meaning "Wonderful Dharma of the Lotus Flower Sutra"). This was something I could say and it would remind me of what the teachings were, and how they could come into my life. If recalling memorised parts of the teachings you're studying doesn't work, maybe something like that will? Just calling up teachings in daily life is important, because sometimes when we meditate or study, it can feel as though we're stepping out of daily life, when in reality these are things that should be part of daily life, and indeed help to make us better ourselves in out daily life.

Also, perhaps contemplating the nature of the teachings, and why it's important (e.g. to be compassionate). Perhaps that'll help ground things?

Anyway, just stick to it, it takes a lot of time and patience to become a compassionate being!

maaike

Genkaku, you're so right! I always tend to set my goals very high when I start with something new (for example when I started running I was thinking about running a marathon before I could run (jog) 30 minutes at a time...). And ofcourse I do the same with this: I want to meditate daily (if i'm really honest twice a day) and follow all the teachings, read everything and be 'the perfect buddhist'. Normally if that doesn't happen I'm very likely to quit alltogether.
Just planning for the next time to meditate (and the next time to study, and the good intentions for just this day) will be a nice change and a way to keep at it for a long time. I do feel that this will be a lifelong journey for me. I know that it takes time and that the path is the goal. I'm not looking for enlightenment or anything, so I just have to remember in every aspect of my practice to be patient and be happy with every small step.