Straying

Ficus_religiosa

I just "came back" after yet another stray. A "stray" defined as the time around which I stop meditating and to when I take it up again. This time it has been since around early February. I do not forget about the dharma, but it loses my interest and I do not try very hard to follow any precepts during the strays (to clarify I've had one before this one). When looking back I see that I have been better at following the dharma even when not trying - it gets more and more worked into my daily conduct. My last stray was more chaotic, but when I came back to The Road I was more disciplined than before. This time around the same has happened. In a very real sense it feels like being reborn to a higher state of awareness.
Does this happen to any of you guys? How does it feel?

Simonthepilgrim

You could be describing my own life, Ficus. Now, 0ver 50 years down the road , I have realised that this is how this construct that I call 'me' does things. My wanderings off the path have been integral and crucial, that they have been learning experiences. O(n these byways, I have built up a 'treasury' which I can now 'spend' on the pearl of great price. Others may do things differently. That is their problem too.

Starbreeze

Sadly, it seems that I stray more than I practice. It's always a little confusing to me. I mean, when I do practice, I can clearly see a difference in how I think about things and how I act. Does my laziness win? I suppose so. And it is sad that I stray so much because I can think of a number of reasons of why I am better off practicing, and I've seen the difference practicing makes in my own life.

I guess I really need to figure out a number of things...

But not-straying always has this wonderful feeling of doing something right...

I'm not sure of exactly what sort of response you were looking for, but maybe this helps?

Ficus_religiosa

@Starbreeze

I am just looking for exactly what you wrote - sharing experiences

mugzy

I certainly have similar experiences, but I personally do not think of it as "straying." For me, I am usually aware that I am not meditating but usually I am either wrapped up in problems (which, in hindsight, would most definitely benefit from meditation) or I'm trying to find my own way without relying on a set of rules. Even the Buddha himself set out on his own after learning and practicing from renowned spiritual masters, and later taught that you must determine for yourself if what you learn is true. I like to think of it as trying to integrate what I have learned on my own, while constantly searching for the truth. I don't know if that makes sense. (There's so much in my head that it's hard to articulate it eloquently.)

The path is the goal

fivebells

I just "came back" after yet another stray.

Welcome back! Stay as long as you like.

I've also noticed that practice is often"sharper" when it starts up again after a hiatus.

genkaku

I've also noticed that practice is often"sharper" when it starts up again after a hiatus.
_______________

I agree, but of course if you stick with it, it will become dull as dishwater and dishwater probably has more to teach than the bright, sharp stuff.

fivebells

Well, following the recent hiatus I have been able to detach from some stuff which would suck me right in before. I really mean sharper in the sense of cutting better, not more exciting.

Cristina

Yeah! I do this all the time. In fact, most of my life has been a "stray," haha. But actually, on the same token, my entire life has been on the path. Maybe not the eightfold path, or something the Buddha would have prescribed for Enlightenment, but it's MY path. I'm very much one of those people that has been self-actualizing since birth. And I've used Buddhism as a great tool to help along the way. So sometimes I'm a meditator, but usually not. But man am I always pounding on that piece of gold around my neck to turn it into a beautiful amulet. In one way or another. Life is changing so fast, always exciting, always something. And my spiritual life takes priority for me over everything else. So I don't know, that's what my experience is like. And no matter what we do it's all part of the great perfection, it's all leading us closer and closer to ourselves... And frankly I wouldn't have it any other way.

Fenix

I don't think straying is too good or none really. when things get hard that's when your supposed to stick with it, right?

Cristina

But the question is "what" exactly do you stay with? In the end, the ultimate thing to stay with is love, open arms, acceptance. A path of discipline may be a very good way to achieve that, but on the other hand, straying from that path may be a better way at times. In the end, everything that happens is right, perfect. Let life be as a teacher, the way it is, just the way it is, not necessarily the way you think it should be.

tess

I have to google so many words here : hiatus!?

Do you mean as a break?

If you do where do you think this power of rest comes from?

seeker242

This has happened many times! How does it feel? Something like this: "Well, that was pretty dumb. You should not do that again!"

NomaDBuddha

I just "came back" after yet another stray. A "stray" defined as the time around which I stop meditating and to when I take it up again. This time it has been since around early February. I do not forget about the dharma, but it loses my interest and I do not try very hard to follow any precepts during the strays (to clarify I've had one before this one). When looking back I see that I have been better at following the dharma even when not trying - it gets more and more worked into my daily conduct. My last stray was more chaotic, but when I came back to The Road I was more disciplined than before. This time around the same has happened. In a very real sense it feels like being reborn to a higher state of awareness.
Does this happen to any of you guys? How does it feel?

Same here. After returning from strays, it feels as if I conquered big parts of my "self". ( on the last occasion, it seemed like my fear was reduced drastically).

fivebells

...where do you think this power of rest comes from?

Practice isn't the only way to open to what's going on. Sometimes facing a matter head-on is more than we can handle. Particularly if there's already a lot of momentum in the practice built up, so it will continue to some extent even if formal practice stops for a bit.

Definitely agree with Fenix that it's better to stick with it. Much faster results that way. But if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.

Sabre

The mind always makes up excuses why you don't have to meditate. But meditation doesn't get better if it isn't a regular practice. You'll always be in the shallow end of meditation that way, never really picking its fruits.

But of course it has also happened to me. Especially when I had a busy schedule I just forgot meditation.

santhisouk

@Ficus_religiosa, you are not really straying at all. You are just living your life. In meditation, if the mind strays it is normal. We just have to bear it in mind and be mindful of it while it is in that state. You should do the same thing when you are not meditating or in your "stray". As long as you have the desire and eager to meditate you are still on the right track. We can't spend everyday in meditation, unless you want to, if so, then you should commit to that lifestyle. I wish I could do that myself.

with metta