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Hi everyone, I'm extremely new to this..
nicolermckinnon
New
So please forgive me if this is a post you see often, or a post in the incorrect forum. I briefly had a look here, http://newbuddhist.com/discussion/10859/how-to-recognize-a-good-buddhist-center, but I'm not positive this is the direction I wanted to go in.
I am seriously struggling with my spirituality. I don't want to say I've tried lots of religions - I've just done a lot of reading and honestly, I could never relate to most of them. As time goes by, and more of life's experiences are thrown at me, I've come to Buddhism. I've done some light reading thus far but I've been having difficulty finishing books lately. Once I went to a meditation/information evening based on Buddhism - Here is my issue.
There seem to be too many groups. I dunno. I went to that evening and found it informative and really related, so much more than when I ever went to a church. However afterwards I read here and other places, that there is controversy around this group, New Kadampa Tradition. So I go looking for other groups in the area, and of course the next is written about negatively also.
Previously I felt quite good about my options, but now I'm just filled with cynicism that there isn't a religious or spiritual sect that isn't corrupt in some way.
SO I guess what I'm asking is if there is any one place that I could do some reading and get a broader knowledge of what I should expect at a good center and more importantly, expect of a good division (lack of better word, sorry) of Buddhism? You can go on all you want about controversies and such, but the truth is I don't understand much of it. And also I get far too nervous when going someplace new, that going out and trying all my options, is just very uncomfortable for me. Thanks to anyone who's stayed with me this entire post! And thanks for your help! Again I apologize if this has been asked of many times before... I just don't know anyone in my area to have a productive conversation regarding this.
I am seriously struggling with my spirituality. I don't want to say I've tried lots of religions - I've just done a lot of reading and honestly, I could never relate to most of them. As time goes by, and more of life's experiences are thrown at me, I've come to Buddhism. I've done some light reading thus far but I've been having difficulty finishing books lately. Once I went to a meditation/information evening based on Buddhism - Here is my issue.
There seem to be too many groups. I dunno. I went to that evening and found it informative and really related, so much more than when I ever went to a church. However afterwards I read here and other places, that there is controversy around this group, New Kadampa Tradition. So I go looking for other groups in the area, and of course the next is written about negatively also.
Previously I felt quite good about my options, but now I'm just filled with cynicism that there isn't a religious or spiritual sect that isn't corrupt in some way.
SO I guess what I'm asking is if there is any one place that I could do some reading and get a broader knowledge of what I should expect at a good center and more importantly, expect of a good division (lack of better word, sorry) of Buddhism? You can go on all you want about controversies and such, but the truth is I don't understand much of it. And also I get far too nervous when going someplace new, that going out and trying all my options, is just very uncomfortable for me. Thanks to anyone who's stayed with me this entire post! And thanks for your help! Again I apologize if this has been asked of many times before... I just don't know anyone in my area to have a productive conversation regarding this.
0
Comments
Buddhism, like any big world religion, has split into many schools and each follow their own particular set of practices while happily pointing out the preceived flaws in the other schools. Buddhists are just people, even the monks, and at some basic level we all root for our home team and want it to outshine the other ones. I am just as guilty as anyone else. So if you want to find something wrong with any school of Buddhism, you'll be able to.
If you're starting out, don't worry about insider squabbles or dirty secrets about the Masters. Just trust your inner compass to know what seems right. No Buddhist group is going to do you harm as long as you understand that the only authority anyone has over you is what you choose to give them. No matter what points of dharma people want to argue about, if the group is trying to teach you to meditate and live a better life, and everyone from Master on down holds the precepts as binding, then go for it.
Remember, you're not signing up for life. Many people start with one school of Buddhism and eventually decide their particular needs best fits a different school.
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Welcome nicolermckinnon. Hope you find something useful here.
It is easy to idealize spiritual life. Books, centers, lectures all tend to paint a bright picture in our minds. Based on our own individual uncertainties and sorrow, hope and belief spring up in response to those books, centers and lectures. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus or, in this case, a way to improve what can ache for improvement.
But as in any other endeavor, there is always the fine print. The fine print may become apparent when we do a little research, but it definitely becomes apparent when we put into action the steps that are suggested en route to our improvement.
Rather than asking whether there is some sect "that isn't corrupt in some way," it might be easier and more sensible to ask how there could possibly be a sect that doesn't take part in corruption. If sects lacked corruption, how human or humane could they possibly be? And if there were some utterly pure sect, why would they accept me and my confused and uncertain corruptions?
Just find a sect or direction that agrees with your needs and taste about 80-90% of the time. If it agreed with your views 100% of the time, what would be the point in joining? ... you'd never learn anything. Find a direction you more or less agree with and then exercise your determination to get right down to the bottom of it. No more pussy-footing. Just dig in, corruptions and all.
One of the nice things about Buddhism is the encouragement to find out for yourself. Most people pretend to like this encouragement, but the fact is more often that they like the encouragement but are unwilling to do the work that that encouragement implies. It's so delicious to think that someone else knows better, is wiser or more profound, or has a true bead on things. Do your best not to get trapped in your own saints-and-sinners rhetoric. We all do or have done it, but that doesn't make it any less foolish. Find out for yourself.
Best wishes in your adventure.
Hopefully you don't give up so quickly. There are many paths in Buddhism. Find something that resonates with you and try to find the school which best suits your needs.
Remember: "Haters gonna hate."
Metta
I don't think you need to join any group to practice. But I guess it can be fun to practice with others sometimes. It is optional rather than necessary. There are groups in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh:
http://www.plumvillage.org/
There are some Chan groups at these locations:
http://www.ctzen.org/middleland/english/branches.html
They offer free guided meditation session, walking meditation , dharma class, tea breaks, etc..weekly.
I am not sure if you are close to any of their branches. If not maybe someone else can refer some closer ones.
Best wishes,
the funny thing is that they all speak the same essence. they just do it in a different conceptual framework.
i came to spirituality because i had questions. reality was fishy. i left spirituality with all my questions. i realized all my answers were with me already. have a fun journey. remember, only the sincere make it.
Hi friend I always find it is better to evaluate a group not based on rumours and so called contraversy but rather by going and gaining a good personal experience and seeing if it suits yourself.
The NKT seems to have a good solid base of Dharma and its never done me any harm.
I felt a bit nervous, I live in Christchurch, New Zealand, and you may have heard we had a pretty bad earthquake here (only part of the catalyst of finally finding 'answers') the end of February, since the city has shut down most everything is much farther away for me to get to, especially without owning a vehicle. The two groups I mentioned are my closest and most realistic options (there are some over an hour away - feasible but I feel like I would talk myself out of it..).
I really feel so much more comfortable now, just hearing all your advice. I've been kind of doing this on my own and have just been really uncertain, I am definitely committed to learning more, I just didn't want to end up in some kind of mind manipulating cult. Haha
Again, thanks so much, this has given me more to think about, all positive.
One thing you can ask, Nicole, is: what type of accountability structure does the group have? Does it have a code of ethics and behavioral guidelines for teachers? Many groups don't. Those who take student well-being and safety seriously, do. See my newly-resurrected thread on the Teacher-Disciple Relationship to see the ethics rules one conscientious Dharma Center enacted. I believe this to be a good model.
You're in NZ. NZ has what I've heard is an excellent Ch'an group that is based in Taiwan but has centers around the world: Fo Guang Shan. All their teachers take ethics courses. I like the sound of this group. On the other hand, if you felt comfortable at NKT, there's nothing wrong with attending for the teachings. As with any group, investigate as throughly as possible before committing to any individual work with a teacher, be mindful of what's going on around you, and leave if something arises that you're not comfortable with. You can look up the teacher of a given center on the internet and see if any warning signs come up, same with the center itself.
You're wise to ask questions and solicit suggestions about how to select a sangha and a teacher, and to find out in advance what the potential pitfalls are. To be forewarned is to be forearmed. Aside from doing some sleuthing about the options available to you, it boils down to where the environment feels right and whether you feel that there's a good, structured learning program.
And I agree with what others have said about studying on one's own. That's an option that many are happy with.