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Sex

2

Comments

  • Nobody actually gets taught or practices something called 'Buddhist tantric sex' anyway - except in their imaginations.
    aMatt's posts certainly give this impression. regards :)

  • Hi DD and Dazzle, agree with your sentiments here - most discussion on;line regarding tantra sounds more like some kind of spiritual New Age idea of sexual practice rather than anything I have experienced offline.
  • >> I wonder if we could describe our body's desire for enlightenment akin to hunger... a natural impetus arising from its noticing a lack?

    Maybe it's more like noticing a surplus of burden, rather than a lack of enlightenment?

    >> The motivation for cultivating the concentration is not the pleasure.

    However, the pleasure could be one of the motivations, IMO. If it's pleasurable, it's going to motivate you to devote time to it. The realization that attachment to the pleasure will create suffering will help to deal skillfully with this pleasure.

    A few days ago I was struck by something that Thanissaro Bhikkhu said (I'm going to digress a bit, sorry for that): we should recognize our possible actions as being 'on the path' or 'distracting from the path'. This is not so much different from discriminating skillful from unskillful actions, but the nice thing about this phrasing is that what is skillful or unskillful also depends WHERE you are on your path. For some, having sex could be 'on the path' (give good results), and for others 'distracting from the path' (give bad results). I'm probably repeating what has already been said, but I just really liked the 'on the path'/'off the path' idea.
  • Hi maarten, I can see it may be WHERE you are on your path and also could be conceptualised as the type of path which is best suited - in any event, other people's opinions are not of much consequence, in a general sense.
  • aMattaMatt Veteran
    edited August 2011
    Nobody actually gets taught or practices something called 'Buddhist tantric sex' anyway
    .
    Do they get taught or practice "Buddhist cooking" or "Buddhist car driving"?

    I'm not a student of vajrayana anymore, and my teacher did not tell me if they have tantric sex or not. My use of tantra is in the Indian sense, and your fun little jab is nonsequitor. I was asking valid questions, describing valid intentions. Buddha taught laypeople to have sex... is it unreasonable for you to look at sex as a partnered meditation, rather than two meat sacks rutting for pleasure?

    Are you actually DD from a different account? :lol:


  • Are you actually DD from a different account?
    Is that an attempt at humour ? :screwy:

    Nice try but the expression 'tantric sex' has a rather different meaning to 'Buddhist cooking and car driving'!

    Buddha taught laypeople, but he did't teach them to have 'tantric sex'.

    Its a mix up with Hindu yoga which was added later and has nothing at all to do with the core teachings of the Buddha.

    However you're obviously clinging to your own misperceptions about this....so cling away, friend, may it bring you happiness.


  • is it unreasonable for you to look at sex as a partnered meditation, rather than two meat sacks rutting for pleasure?

    Yeah, I don't use sensuality as an excuse for what you call "partnered meditation" lol!. ... but have fun in the sack anyway, Mr Meatrutter !

    :D
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited August 2011
    Settle down gentleman and lady.

    Ok sense pleasure and desire may be mutually exclusive. Desire is based on the illusion that there are feelings inside such as boredom to get away from and pleasure to gain. To a being with some awareness sex or rich food may be experienced as suffering.

    In mahamudra idea sensitivity is an indestructible quality of Buddha nature or unconditional awareness or in Theravada referred to in scripture as consciousness without surface. It is what allows us to operate appropriately along with clarity and opening. A Buddha does not experience desire but a Buddha would have sex if it averted harm or liberated beings from samsara. Big if. Don't expect the path to be easy and keep mindfulness. If you have sex have sex. Full force undivided. If you don't then bring that to the path as well.
  • @aMatt

    I don't think there is any reason to try and make sex more or less than what it is. Of course, sex can mean different things for different people, but in all cases it is a sensual pleasure enjoyed by lay people. It is always always always associated with some form of desire and attachment, whether it is subtle or gross.

    There's no reason to be ashamed of oneself for enjoying sex, it's a part of life, but those who respect and wish to uphold the virtues of the religious path should not try to transform an obviously sensual distraction into some kind of esoteric ritual leading to enlightenment.

    If you enjoy sex, and wish to seek or maintain a sexual relationship, then you should come to terms with the fact that nirvana will not be attained before death. There are many ways of being a virtuous and meritorious person while living the lay person's life, while taking refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. Virtuous and skillful karma will lead to happy birth.

    I have sex with my girlfriend and it can feel special and even religious at times, but I don't trick myself into believing that it is necessary or even allowable behavior if the cessation of becoming were my goal for this life.

    Just my thoughts on the matter.
  • aMattaMatt Veteran
    edited August 2011
    Yeah, I don't use sensuality as an excuse for what you call "partnered meditation" lol!. ... but have fun in the sack anyway, Mr Meatrutter !
    Excuse? I can accept you consider me clinging to views. Such odd responses sometimes, like everyone takes themselves soooo seriously!

    Cooking and driving a car are not part of buddha's teaching, but they are part of a lay path. I have done my best to point at the paradigm I've experienced, if your mind considers it an excuse for sensual pleasure, I'm content with that. I was exploring the question of mindful sex, and looking to see if the impetus could be without attachment.

    I was trying to be funny. I think you're funny too. I also considered "do you have a DD on your cheerleading sweater?" Humor is in short supply some times. I wonder why that is?
  • edited August 2011
    Such odd responses sometimes, like everyone takes themselves soooo seriously!
    Do they ? Thats a shame, its always best to let go of internet doo doo.

    :wave:
  • DhammaDhatuDhammaDhatu Veteran
    edited August 2011
    Perhaps at first, meditation is approached for "pleasurable feelings", but with practice that dissolves. Tantra is often approached at first for pleasurable feelings, but with practice that dissolves. Sexual pleasure is unsatisfying compared to the peaceful union that arises along side of it. Not that I claim mastery... but this is the teaching and the intent, and I wonder if it can be regarded as right intent.
    How can placing penis into vagina increase awareness?

    In my understand, awareness can increase where there is stimulation of lust. Lust comes from stimulation of pleasure

    For the purpose of awakening, i thought the Buddha recommended looking a rotting corpses rather than placing penis in vagina?

    Regards :-/
    Should consciousness, when standing, stand attached to feeling, supported by feeling (as its object), landing on feeling, watered with delight, it would exhibit growth, increase, & proliferation.

    Should consciousness, when standing, stand attached to perception, supported by perception (as its object), landing on perception, watered with delight, it would exhibit growth, increase, & proliferation.

    Should consciousness, when standing, stand attached to fabrications, supported by fabrications (as its object), landing on fabrications, watered with delight, it would exhibit growth, increase, & proliferation.

    Were someone to say, 'I will describe a coming, a going, a passing away, an arising, a growth, an increase, or a proliferation of consciousness apart from form, from feeling, from perception, from fabrications,' that would be impossible.

    If a monk abandons passion for the property of consciousness, then owing to the abandonment of passion, the support is cut off, and there is no landing of consciousness. Consciousness, thus not having landed, not increasing, not concocted, is released. Owing to its release, it is steady. Owing to its steadiness, it is contented. Owing to its contentment, it is not agitated. Not agitated, he (the monk) is totally unbound right within. He discerns that 'Birth is ended, the holy life fulfilled, the task done. There is nothing further for this world.'".
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    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

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  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran

    How can placing penis into vagina increase awareness?
    It seemed to work for Siddhartha's parents. Maitreya has to come from somewhere.

    :lol:
  • I am aware of my penis in her vagina ... right?
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited August 2011
    If you can't bring sex to the path then you can't bring breath either. @ talisman your view is only one of many opinions. I don,t think enlightenment post death is remotely a mainstream view or any stream even. Sex may be mutually exclusive with Tanha. Saying a Buddha may not have sex is confusing creation of good merit, celibacy, with supra mundane realization, prajnaparamita. Sex can be danha prajnaparamita.
  • @jeffrey

    I didn't say there is enlightment "post death." And what do you mean "bring sex to the path?" Do you mean that the act of sex is as easily recognizable, as easily controlled, as easily focused upon, and as easily brought to the fore as the act of breathing.

    A living person cannot live without breath. A living person can live without sex.

    So many people in this modern world like to make sex a bigger thing than it actually is. Whether its making it out to be some sacred act ordained by god, or a sin of the flesh, or the purpose of living, or some grand expression of love. Sex is just sex, its two (or more) bodies rubbing against eachother in a way that feels really good. Its nothing more and nothing less than exactly what it is, sensual pleasure.

    The act of breathing is not sensual pleasure. It is nutriment.
  • This is a bit absurd, but I will go with it anyway.

    What if everybody decided that they weren't going to have sex anymore. Didn't matter if it was for pleasure, reproduction or both. The lack of new humans would mean what to buddhism?
  • It would mean there would be a lot more masterbation the world over.
  • aMattaMatt Veteran

    How can placing penis into vagina increase awareness?

    In my understand, awareness can increase where there is stimulation of lust. Lust comes from stimulation of pleasure
    How can placing butt onto floor increase awareness?

    If sex always produces lust, how could it be wholesome? If it is not wholesome, why did Buddha suggest it for a householder? :confused:
  • Placing your butt on the floor helps increase awareness because it takes you mind off walking. Sitting cross legged helps maintain correct posture so that ciculation along the spinal collumn is uninterupted, leading to clarity of mind. Sex is "unwholesome" because it is driven by sensual desire and leads to suffering. Sitting on your butt is not driven by sensual desire.
  • If you can't bring sex to the path then you can't bring breath either. @ talisman your view is only one of many opinions. I don,t think enlightenment post death is remotely a mainstream view or any stream even. Sex may be mutually exclusive with Tanha. Saying a Buddha may not have sex is confusing creation of good merit, celibacy, with supra mundane realization, prajnaparamita. Sex can be danha prajnaparamita.
    What?

  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    edited August 2011
    Nobody actually gets taught or practices something called 'Buddhist tantric sex' anyway - except in their imaginations. It was something that featured in Indian texts a very long time ago in connection with the Indian siddha tradition.
    .
    It survives in TB today. One of our members received those teachings and practices from her teacher a few months ago. The Hevajra Tantra, if I recall correctly. I PM'd her for clarification. She said it was a sexual practice that she learned. But this is off-topic.
  • @jeffrey

    I didn't say there is enlightment "post death." And what do you mean "bring sex to the path?" Do you mean that the act of sex is as easily recognizable, as easily controlled, as easily focused upon, and as easily brought to the fore as the act of breathing.



    A living person cannot live without breath. A living person can live without sex.

    So many people in this modern world like to make sex a bigger thing than it actually is. Whether its making it out to be some sacred act ordained by god, or a sin of the flesh, or the purpose of living, or some grand expression of love. Sex is just sex, its two (or more) bodies rubbing against eachother in a way that feels really good. Its nothing more and nothing less than exactly what it is, sensual pleasure.

    The act of breathing is not sensual pleasure. It is nutriment.
    Sex is recognizable focusable and possible to bring to path as any sense pleasure. If our craving for sex is not dealt with there will be becoming etc. Again confusing merit with wisdom.

    It is non seqitar that breath is vital for life as the point is not that celibacy is impossible. It does not logically follow that a non mandatory to life activity need be abandoned again there is a difference between senses and craving.

    Breathing is a sense pleasure or it couldn't be used to understand craving. Exactly my point that sex is no big deal.
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited August 2011
    Clay Tanha is desire without aware choice. Reactive to fabrications and trying to fill up. Merit is favorable conditions but it is not the same as clear seeing of wisdom free from the error of taking the conditioned feelings and fabrications as a self which needs to chase objects outside. Prajna paramita is the wisdom perfection of this non self. Dana is giving and is also perfection or paramita if it is given with no gift giver or recipient to cling to, just release and love. Sex may be Dana surely. And possibly Dana prajna paramita. Please google the heart sutra.
  • Clay Tanha is desire without aware choice. Reactive to fabrications and trying to fill up. Merit is favorable conditions but it is not the same as clear seeing of wisdom free from the error of taking the conditioned feelings and fabrications as a self which needs to chase objects outside. Prajna paramita is the wisdom perfection of this non self. Dana is giving and is also perfection or paramita if it is given with no gift giver or recipient to cling to, just release and love. Sex may be Dana surely. And possibly Dana prajna paramita. Please google the heart sutra.
    I am officially now more confused haha.
  • Jeffrey, I don't think Clay is familiar with the jargon. Perhaps you could translate?
  • Clay Ill get back to you Monday. Too hard on iPad here to type. Ask me specific question so I know what to talk about. If you are new to Buddhism basically I said celibacy creates conditions for peace, but that one could also use sex wisely such as giving and love.
  • edited August 2011
    It survives in TB today. One of our members received those teachings and practices from her teacher a few months ago. The Hevajra Tantra, if I recall correctly. I PM'd her for clarification. She said it was a sexual practice that she learned. But this is off-topic.
    In 20 years of offline study and practice of Tibetan Buddhism before I changed to Theravada, I never heard of anyone been given actual sexual practices - though sometimes meditational deities were depicted in thangkas etc as yab-yum (representing the union of wisdom and compassion)and could be visualised as such in sadhanas....but that doesn't mean it was interpreted as performing a literal sex act, its symbolic of something else completely.
    .
  • It survives in TB today. One of our members received those teachings and practices from her teacher a few months ago. The Hevajra Tantra, if I recall correctly. I PM'd her for clarification. She said it was a sexual practice that she learned. But this is off-topic.

    In 20 years of offline study and practice of Tibetan Buddhism before I changed to Theravada, I never heard of anyone been given actual sexual practices - though sometimes meditational deities were depicted in thangkas etc as yab-yum (representing the union of wisdom and compassion)and could be visualised as such in sadhanas....but that doesn't mean it was interpreted as performing a literal sex act, its symbolic of something else completely.
    .



    :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
  • @jeffrey

    Breath is not motivated by sensual desire and is not used for "understanding craving." Focus upon the breath is used because of its simplicity and because the breath is not driven by sensual desire. The Buddha used focus upon the breath as a primary method for entering into the Jhanas and formless meditations. Are you suggesting that the Buddha was driven by sensual desire when he focused upon his breath?

    Sex is a complicated, constantly evolving, tangled mess of sensuality, emotion, and craving. Any and all perceived benefits of sexual activity are governed by the 3 marks of existence, namely they are impermanent, not-self, and disatisfying. The pleasures of sexuality are impermanent because they are conditioned, fade quickly and are easily manipulated by new interests and sensations. They are not-self because there is no abiding and eternal essence in either the pleasures experienced or the act itself. They are disatisfying because they do not lead to the unconditioned, to the deathless, to unbinding.
  • edited August 2011
    Buddha can never "teach" you anything , or stop you to do anything you wish to do . There is nothing to act or do in buddhism . Buddha is pure , I am pollutant , my desire , my compassion , my love , my anger , my ego , my life is all pollutant against Buddha .
    Sir , do anything you wish to do as long as you aware your action , dont act just to fulfil your desire and against your own compassion you will regret it when you move to higher awareness . So consider all your awareness like emotions / desire / love / compassion etc and act on it so that when you move to higher awareness you will never regret your action .
    In my own awareness , I will make love to anyone I wish as long as my action will never cause any suffering to others but I will not make love to anyone just to please oneself including myself and caused suffering to others .
  • @goshiki

    "I will make love to anyone I wish"
    "I will not make love to anyone just to please myself"

    You, sir, are delusional.
  • Thanks Sir , perhaps you are right I am "delusional" as I know that is my pollutants . In my own awareness of Buddha , perhaps Buddha energy is in 99.99% of all life or nature so the problem with human is , human FOCUS on the 0.01% of bad energy that consist of all desire / compassion/emotions/delusion etc . In learning Buddha I will only focus to free myself from pollutant not getting more involve in it .

  • In search of purity , the closer we are to purity the less pollutant we have . The closer we are to purity , we will have less of all desire / emotions / compassion/love / fear etc.
  • @goshiki

    What is "buddha energy?"
  • In my own awareness , Buddha is original pure energy of emptiness . I "have" life infact my "life" is actually pollutant in Buddha - the purity . My life is my awareness and my awareness is all my desire / delusion/compassion / emotions / love/hate etc . I will definately be pure sooner or later , even a rock will be pure sooner or later . I will only be pure - the Buddha only if I am totally awake , totally understand all my awareness , totally free of my awareness . That perhap will be the end of my purification process of birth/survive/death .
    No one will "teach" you Buddha , not even Dalai Lama or even Mr Siddharta himself , you MUST learn it your self , by accepting you are same & equal with all and all living or non-living is same & equal with you . Learn Buddha from human , animal , tree , viruses , rock , water , rubbish , pen , table AND YOURSELF etc . All is your master / source of Buddha.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    This is amazing.
    Just put the word 'sex' in a thread title, and it goes on for reams and reams, with nobody actually really saying anything....

    Even just the word 'sex' is enough to engender more comments from more participating members than any other topic...

    "If it feels good, do it. When in doubt, don't." is all I have to say.
  • Talisman, have you heard about the insight component of breath? Basically Buddha said all of his teachings consist of three dharma seals. Impermanence isn't the only way to look at reality. I have read a popular author state that breath is chosen due to being a sense pleasure. The eightfold is dependently arising with the cause of suffering second nt. How long have you been practicing? Me ten years and I am still learning. It confuses me why you think Buddha was not driven by sensual energy. In my way of thinking Buddha faced sensual energy head on like lieutenant Dan in forest hump, maybe wrong generation movie, but I have seen like ten movies in the past ten years, my favorite is the story of renewal, sea biscuit...rambling
  • Seeeeex.......... What difference is it, a-sexually or with any other! After ejaculation the resolution is the same result. So what? When finished often times it's awareness is as deepened as "I have to pee. Good night...." :lol!!!:
  • This is amazing.
    Just put the word 'sex' in a thread title, and it goes on for reams and reams, with nobody actually really saying anything....

    Even just the word 'sex' is enough to engender more comments from more participating members than any other topic...

    "If it feels good, do it. When in doubt, don't." is all I have to say.
    I got my answer a while ago, I just wanted to see how long this would go on. I like that people are having somewhat intelligent discussions on here though rather than no activity at all.

  • ZaylZayl Veteran
    (sigh) sex is not inherently bad, you know. When I have sex, it is with the girl that I love. We have sex to show how deep our love can be to each other, and the fact that it feels really, really good is just a bonus. I love sex, but I don't go banging everything that has a vagina for shits and giggles. I'm with one girl, who I love so deeply that sex is just a natural thing.
  • DhammaDhatuDhammaDhatu Veteran
    edited August 2011
    We have sex to show how deep our love can be to each other, and the fact that it feels really, really good is just a bonus.
    This is just lust & sensual pleasure. How deep & real your love is will be tested by things & events far different from how deep you can enter a vagina.

    All the best :)



  • ZaylZayl Veteran
    We have sex to show how deep our love can be to each other, and the fact that it feels really, really good is just a bonus.
    This is just lust & sensual pleasure. How deep & real your love is will be tested by things & events far different from how deep you can enter a vagina.

    All the best :)



    Way to completely miss my point. And what's more you called my relationship with the girl I've known since first grade into question. Do you seek to cause offense good sir?
  • aMattaMatt Veteran
    Way to completely miss my point. And what's more you called my relationship with the girl I've known since first grade into question. Do you seek to cause offense good sir?
    He's just grumpy because he's involuntarily celibate. :) Really though, just watch the worm hit the water and swim on by.
  • It survives in TB today. One of our members received those teachings and practices from her teacher a few months ago. The Hevajra Tantra, if I recall correctly. I PM'd her for clarification. She said it was a sexual practice that she learned. But this is off-topic.
    In 20 years of offline study and practice of Tibetan Buddhism before I changed to Theravada, I never heard of anyone been given actual sexual practices - though sometimes meditational deities were depicted in thangkas etc as yab-yum (representing the union of wisdom and compassion)and could be visualised as such in sadhanas....but that doesn't mean it was interpreted as performing a literal sex act, its symbolic of something else completely.

    This is kind of a silly digression, but then...maybe the whole thread has gone way off-topic anyway.
    All this means, Dazzle, is that your teacher/s chose not to teach you a certain way. Not everyone is given the teachings for consort practice. If you look around on some of the other forums, it's clear there are members who practice with a consort. But aside from that, HHDL discusses tantric sexual technique in several of his books. In the Berzin Archives, he says, "Being able to have sexual contact without releasing semen is something needed when you practice the advanced stages of the completion stage [of the tantras]." He also goes into some detail of this nature in "How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life" and "The Good Heart". The DL is full of surprises, lol !

  • Just out of curiosity (I know next to nothing about tantra or Vajrajana) what do married practitioners do? In theory, wouldn't the completion stage require a consort who might not actually be one's spouse? Or is tantra simply best avoided by people in existing relationships?
  • edited August 2011
    In theory, tantra is practiced with one's spouse exclusively. The reality for some is not that neat and tidy. I think this is where the comment made earlier, that in this tradition, sex is without attachments, comes in. One's consort is just a consort, someone to facilitate the practice. It's not really about sex, they say, it's a spiritual practice. Padmasambhava, who brought Tantric Buddhism to Tibet, had several consorts and two wives. One of the consorts he trained went on to have consorts of her own. The DL has said that if you focus on the sex, then that's all it is, you lose the spiritual aspect, and the experience is very mundane. The practice involves the couple meditating on each other as divine beings, and focussing on the spiritual energy ("tummo" or Inner Fire, aka: Kundalini) that gets generated. I think in the West the practice can be used to enhance the relationship by sharing this profound experience. Some people undoubtedly use it that way. Other people....who knows?
  • lol, so much attachment in deez thread! When I looked on the list of topis to post on the main discussion page, natrually my eyes drifted toward "sex"!

  • .
    All this means, Dazzle, is that your teacher/s chose not to teach you a certain way.
    Wow CW, you are really stepping over the line presuming to know what my teacher/s chose to teach me.

    Lol! ignorance is bliss as the saying goes.

    Best wishes
  • DhammaDhatuDhammaDhatu Veteran
    edited August 2011
    And what's more you called my relationship with the girl I've known since first grade into question. Do you seek to cause offense good sir?
    We all read about your courting/mating ritual months ago on this forum.

    As for your recent post, you made it just sound like two horny people going for it.

    Don't go blaming me for the impression you gave in your post.

    You are describing the love of a pleasurable feeling & high as 'love'.

    All the best :)
This discussion has been closed.