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What's the point in being "kind", or "good hearted"?

LostSoulLostSoul Veteran
edited September 2011 in General Banter
Hello everybody.

I'm an ex-satanist and I'm currently having some trouble in life. I'm searching for an answer to my troubles. I'm not sure if buddhism is the answer, but I do know that the concepts I've learned so far (mostly from this forum and Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now) have helped me live a more happy and peaceful life.

However, I'm starting to wonder, what is the "point" in being good hearted, kind, and compassionate? Since I come from an unorthodox background, this may sound a little strange, but seriously ponder this with me for a bit. I understand you all have this concept of "ego" being the creator of most unwholesome/bad actions (e.g. if somebody spits at me, its my ego that would make me face them and punch them in the face), however what about unwholesome/bad actions that would otherwise benefit you and/or your family? For example, another scenario, say I am a CEO of a huge company, and hire a bunch of indian workers for .05 an hour (over-exaggeration I'm sure) which is obviously an unwholesome/bad action. However, this in turn gives me more profit for my business, so I can pay my workers and family with, without the ego at all interfering with that unwholesome action.

Does this make sense? Why is it wrong there? I guess you could see that as the "ego" wanting more for family, etc. but really, if your family is starving or something, and you need to make ends meet, maybe you need to go do some wrong act to get that money, how is that so wrong? Your just providing for yourself and your family...

Comments

  • LostSoulLostSoul Veteran
    I guess another question I could ask, what would you do if you were given 3 wishes, and why?

    I'm really not sure what I'd ask for...

    One would probably be money... I'm not strong enough otherwise, and highly doubt much others would be. What would the buddha ask for?
  • MountainsMountains Veteran
    Conversely, what would be the point of being ill tempered, selfish, and unkind? Do you not think being kind, generous, and good hearted would be its own reward? Does treating others badly ever lead to long term good?
  • LostSoulLostSoul Veteran
    Yes, I see your point, to a degree. However, if it renders long term good for yourself and/or your family, that is what my question is pertaining to.

    I guess, this is more just a question of morals, and can't be logically argued against..
  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    Treat others as you would like to be treated. Would you want to work for .05/hr.? Through our actions, we help create the world we want to have, a reality that reflects our values. We're all co-creators.
  • MountainsMountains Veteran
    Yes, I see your point, to a degree. However, if it renders long term good for yourself and/or your family, that is what my question is pertaining to.

    I guess, this is more just a question of morals, and can't be logically argued against..
    Nobody can force you to be a good person, that's for sure! But I think it's a mistake to believe that doing good or being a kind person should be done for the expectation of some kind of benefit for you or your family. It should be done for its own sake. Any positive benefits will flow naturally...
  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    edited September 2011
    Lost Soul, people in the corporate world get away with all kinds of morally objectionable stuff. If that's the kind of world you want to live in, stick around, it's coming soon to a planet near you. But don't come crying to us when your mortgage is foreclosed upon and you become homeless, or you lose your job because it's either outsourced, or they hired someone younger and cheaper, etc.

    If you want a kind and generous world, be kind and generous. If you want a cold, cruel, exploitive world, embody that. It's your call. Which do you think would work best for you? For others? For the natural environment upon which we depend for survival? For the global commons?
  • CloudCloud Veteran
    A kind heart finds compassionate resonance in the world.
  • personperson Don't believe everything you think The liminal space Veteran
    The real source of our happiness or misery comes from our own mind. Getting more resources or external pleasures are temporary and ultimately unreliable fixes. If your mind is one of kindness or compassion it is happy. If it is one of hatred, craving or any of the other mental poisons it is unhappy.

    From a more metaphysical point of view, there is the notion of karma. Where the actions you take now will come back to you at a future time. Its not really something tangible you can put your hands on, but its a fairly core teaching of Buddhism.

    From a more worldly perspective, most people respond positivly to kindness and its a good way to gather loyalty and good, trustworthy friends.
  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
    @lostsoul -- When you begin to take responsibility for your thoughts, words and deeds, then naturally you will become kinder. Failure to take responsibility can be seen in the excuses, explanations and meanings used to cover up a lack of responsibility. "I did it because of this or because of that" is the usual way. "I did it" is the less common but more healthy way.

    There is no need to sugar-coat kindness or turn it into a glowing imperative. Kindness just works better...and this becomes apparent when you keep up a constant and disciplined practice.

    Just my take.
  • LostSoulLostSoul Veteran
    Thank you guys for your responses. I tried something today - I went out and visited my family and just tried being nice to them and enjoying their company. Normally, I would be worrying about work, thinking about what I had to hurry home to do, etc, but today I didn't. And I felt happy afterwards.

    I think I will do this more. Thank you all for your help with my quest, and I'm sorry if I've been a little disruptive in this forum...
  • TiaPTiaP
    Practicing kindness and compassion creates a kind of mental tranquility in my experience. It creates a greater sense of ease, fewer regrets, greater sense of peace. As @genkaku says there's no need to sugar coat it, or overdo it, just tap into what feels right. If it helps you can just view it from a pretty practical stand-point. When we do things we know deep down probably cause someone else suffering, from using harsh words to taking advantage of others, I think it's probably impossible to feel completely at ease and happy no matter what material rewards doing so might create. Sounds like you're on the right track anyway and don't beat yourself up if you're not perfect, as far as I'm aware none of us are :)
  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    Thank you guys for your responses. I tried something today - I went out and visited my family and just tried being nice to them and enjoying their company. Normally, I would be worrying about work, thinking about what I had to hurry home to do, etc, but today I didn't. And I felt happy afterwards.

    I think I will do this more. Thank you all for your help with my quest, and I'm sorry if I've been a little disruptive in this forum...
    Disruptive? You?? Naw...
    What you describe is about being in the present, and enjoying what's going on in the moment, instead of letting your thoughts wander. Kind of like meditation. I don't see what this has to do with your OP, but I'm glad you made a discovery that helps you.

    Hi, TiaP. Welcome back! :)
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