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So how do I gently get out of *this* situation?
Mountains
Veteran
So I just started classes about a 50 minute drive from my house. The first day of class we connected people who could potentially ride share to save fuel. I'm happy to do that. So another member of my class and I agreed to start doing it. OMG... after two days I'm about to go insane! The nanosecond she gets into the car her mouth is running (about stuff I really don't have any interest in or business knowing about her family, etc). She drove today, and I nearly wet myself on a couple of occasions, her driving was so horrendous (seriously).
So how does one extricate one's self from this without causing undue suffering??? I'm sort of at a loss. The school goes into the middle of next year, and there's no *way* I can ride with this person every day.
So how does one extricate one's self from this without causing undue suffering??? I'm sort of at a loss. The school goes into the middle of next year, and there's no *way* I can ride with this person every day.
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Comments
The textbook 'correct' answer is probably that your safety and sanity are of paramount importance and therefore you should probably just be (gently) honest and say it isn't going to work out for you. As we both know, though, life isn't a textbook, so it may be easier said than done.
if you don't want to try the evasive tactics though, i'd just be upfront like genkaku says.
Since I am offering a wooden nickle's worth of advice, I will address the driving portion of your dilemma first.
Since this person is incessantly talking, may I suggest you say to her that for safety reasons that she please keep the boisterous talking to a minimum. This should slow that problem some provided it doesn't tick her off.
Now, as to the riding portion, you will most likely be in a seated position the whole time therefore you are at liberty to do as you please(obviously she prefers lots of endless jabbering when she rides), but I think in this case it is an ideal environment to practice vipassana with an aim towards emotional control(overcoming fear) and personal self-control(resisting the urge to back out of the carpooling arrangement). That said,zombiegirl's idea of a good music player with some sound cancelling headphones can work wonders too.
Here's hoping everything works out for the best
Nanimo
you make the problem, thus you make the solution.
the best advice a billboard gave me the other day.
GO WITH THE FLOW.
I only got a driver's license a few years ago. I still feel like a newbie. When I'm outside urban areas, I'm fine. When I'm in town, in traffic, dealing with mazes of one-way streets, 4-way stops, the occasional intersection with no functioning traffic lights, and other hazards, I need to focus on my driving. I tell passengers upfront I'm not able to multi-task, I'm not able to chat when I drive, and I seriously need to focus on my driving. I may add that their safety and mine depend on my staying focussed. You might be surprised at some of the responses I get; some people are such compuslive talkers, they can't deal with silence. So I just gently repeat that I have to watch the road, that driving for me is a "zen" thing, in that it's total single-minded focus. Repeat any of the above as needed.
Or...just wiggle your way out of the situation altogether the best you can. If she takes offense, you'll still have your life (and sanity) intact, and having one member of the class who isn't your friend isn't the end of the world. You can't be liked by everyone, such is life.
I love these installments of "Mountains Does Life". ^_^
Of course, it's not funny when you're in a situation like that, and we all struggle with this sort of thing at some point in our lives, but it's funny to read about. Anyway, it's the weekend now, you don't have to deal with it until next week. Maybe you can spend the weekend working up your courage.
or...hiding under a rock. ^_^
My first visit with this young man (acupuncturist), so we'll see...
I can't speak for the accupuncture personally, but I know several people who have gotten relief from having it, including a former librarian at my school who was doing nuts from tinnitus, and the accupuncture was the only thing that brought some relief.
And let me right now, since we're on the subject, dispel the commonly held belief that you can get the flu from a flu shot. Factually, scientifically speaking, you cannot (CAN NOT) get the flu from a flu shot. Any more than you can become a cow from eating a hamburger. The flu virus in the vaccine is *DEAD*. Kaput. Mort. Gonzo. Outta there. Belly up. Six feet under. Pushing up daisies. Eating dandelion roots. Bitten the dust. Caught the Jesus bus. D-E-A-D, day-UDD.
What you *can* do is get a flu shot, and then get a nasty cold. The flu shot doesn't protect you from every virus on the planet. You can get the vaccine and already have a cold brewing, or you can get a cold later. Sometimes the timing may seem suspicious, but the flu vaccine CAN NOT make you sick, other than a mild, transient reaction as described above. There are lots of viruses running around at the same time of year you're going to be getting the flu vaccine, so it's not to be unexpected that you *could* get sick around the same time. It's just the way of the world.
I can't tell you how many times I have to explain this to patients (and even other nurses... frighteningly). It's simply not possible. And when people do get sick and make the connection that it was the vaccine that made them so, what they don't realize is that if they have a nasty cold, it's nowhere NEAR like having the actual flu. If you have full blown influenza, believe me when I tell you, you'll know it's not a nasty cold, because most likely you'll end up in the hospital.
Do vaccines contain mercury? Yes, but as in most cases with things like this, it's not that simple. Vaccines contain thimerosal as a preservative. Thimerosal has been in use since the 1930s, and is extremely safe (there are very few drugs on the market that have been as widely investigated). Thimerosal contains **ethylmercury** vs. the toxic form *methylmercury* that is commonly found in things like old thermostats, etc. Similar, but vastly different compounds. Here's some information from the CDC...
http://www.cdc.gov/vaccinesafety/Concerns/Thimerosal/thimerosal_faqs.html
The other thing to consider when deciding to get a flu shot is who you are around who may be immune compromised in some way. My mother worked in elder care and always got her shot since passing the flu to her participants could be deadly. I recommended my boyfriend get one since he is a helper to a friend waiting on a kidney transplant. I also went nowhere near him when i was sick last, not wanting to even pass on a cold.
I pity this woman's husband
Mountains, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Lucky you, you have a chiro app't tomorrow. Eventually, you'll probably just have to tell her you need the quiet drive time to unwind after class, or something. And you've been feeling like, because of the frequency of your appointments, you can't be a reliable carpool partner for her. That's a good one.
oh, and on a side note, i know both men and women like this. lol.
But it can also be a symptom of boys being raised to think they're entitled to be the center of attention, and that everything they say is important and brilliant.
ok....time to move these rants to another thread.... :grumble:
lol
i have this awesome relationship with my sister because she's like this and in our conversations i'm always thinking, "man, is she ever going to shut up so i can get my point across?" and THEN i end up getting impatient and cutting her off so that i can say what i want, and then she cuts ME off so she can say what she wants and i think, "how rude is she!????" and then i realize... my sister and i are just the same.
i work very hard on curbing this behavior, just fyi.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/
"I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."