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went to a sit/talk
It was pretty cool, I haven't been to a group in awhile. So we sat awhile, and then had a talk on right intention that I thought was very good. The speaker had a good pace and balance of information that was solid and some personal stories that related. I have heard about metta so many times, it hit me on another level tonight to hear about it. Plus he gave us a trick to recall the 8 fold path (i am notoriously bad at memorizing)
It stirred my interest again to go on some type of retreat, no matter if it is short. Finances are always an issue but I know that you can apply for reduced rates at the place I would like to go. I may be over feeling I just need to work harder and earn more to deserve this, and instead may apply for a scholarship of some amount and do it. I also had to get over feeling I could not do it after my new diagnoses last summer (of bipolar rather than depressed).
Why the change over time? Well I think I have let go of the feeling that I so desperately need to get away. You never really get away from yourself after all. It does not feel like an escape or putting myself through a huge test, it just is and i still want to do it. Now we will see what falls into place.
It stirred my interest again to go on some type of retreat, no matter if it is short. Finances are always an issue but I know that you can apply for reduced rates at the place I would like to go. I may be over feeling I just need to work harder and earn more to deserve this, and instead may apply for a scholarship of some amount and do it. I also had to get over feeling I could not do it after my new diagnoses last summer (of bipolar rather than depressed).
Why the change over time? Well I think I have let go of the feeling that I so desperately need to get away. You never really get away from yourself after all. It does not feel like an escape or putting myself through a huge test, it just is and i still want to do it. Now we will see what falls into place.
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and some of the centers are extremely comfortable and beautiful
I met with the minister of a methodist church I am going to. Really nice and they have a buddhist deal at 5 on sundays. Even though I am on a fast from volunteering I talked to her about starting a writers/artist group at the church. There are others interested and we are looking at April.
I don't doubt my dedication but I have so often over the years had family and money concerns that truly stopped my availability to train more. Now the kids are in a stage where they don't need me so much, but I really can't leave ever. I pretty much work my breaks for the camps in our school district, it has just been a change to not work all weekends over the last couple months.
Okay starting the week tired so gonna get moving
Its a tough one - in my mind, your dedication to the kids in your district is much more inspirational than if you were off on retreat every week - its different from the outside looking in though... you probably do a lot of little things that you wouldnt count as training or practice.
Ultimately in my mind, the smallest grain of practice in tough conditions is richer than all the practice in perfect conditions.
if you dont already, you should consider Buddhism on the move... just check out whatever others do inside and adapt it for your lifestyle on the move - most things are transferable
So friday it was a kid who needed to RUN to the bathroom, and then spent a looong tiime there, and then told me a little more information than I needed. Hmm, kids. It all comes down to eating and pooping.