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How to trick people into thinking you're good looking
zombiegirl
beating the drum of the lifelessin a dry wasteland Veteran
(Warning for swears)
"You can make yourself into a human optical illusion."
Okay, so this video is a joke and incredibly tongue in cheek (and of course, she's pretty to begin with and really overdoes it with the "whore" make-up lol), but it still brings up a few good points... to me anyways.
I think having image issues is a two part problem. On the one hand, as Buddhists, we all know that clinging to things like make-up or clothing or working out for image issues... is really a mask for an underlying problem. Regardless of how pretty you make yourself at 20 or 30 or 40 or whenever!, someday that beauty will always fade and clinging to it will not be helpful in the grand scheme of impermanence.
But... on the other hand, we are surrounded by a society that is obsessed with make-up and new clothes and push up bras and tanning etc. etc. etc. So when you look around and see all of these women who look like goddesses walking around, it's hard not to compare.
I personally, grew up with a grandmother who referred to make-up as "putting on her face" and even I barely ever saw her without it. I rebelled against this female image thing for a long time but eventually just sort of felt like, "Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." So now, before going to work, I do have a lengthy beauty regiment. I don't feel bad about this anymore because I discovered how spending time to wash my face/exfoliate/spot treat really does clear up my skin. As an artist, I can appreciate that eyeliner creates a certain amount of contrast and really does make your eyes pop, and since eyes are INCREDIBLY important for human interaction, this can be helpful in dealing with people. And eyeshadow... well, this is probably the most fun part of my regiment because, once again, as an artist... you can do so many cool things with different color combinations. But anyways, I digress... the point is, those goddesses that you see walking around... I can almost guarantee that they don't roll out of the bed that way. There's typically A LOT of time and money that goes into your typical "pretty" girl.
Money on haircare (hair cuts, dyes, product) I personally use three different hair products everyday and 2 different kinds of shampoo on a rotating basis (I'm prone to dandruff).
I wear three different kinds of make-up on my skin (not every day). Plus facial lotion. Plus two different types of acne treatments. Plus exfoliation.
Altogether, I have a lot of different eye-shadows and eyeliners and mascaras etc, but these are depending on my mood.
And really, most of the time I'm opting for a "natural" look (ironically). I take probably half the time getting ready that my friends typically do.
And don't even look at magazines, computers make everything so fake these days it's hard to tell the way anybody really looks anymore.
Take a look at this tongue in cheek video selling Adobe Photoshop (image editing software) as a beauty tool:
And last but not least, I really like this picture of these Victoria Secret models before and after make-up/lighting/outfits/photoshop editing:
They are models, so of course they're going to look a bit better to begin with, but regardless... I feel like the contrast between the beginning and the end product is still pretty amazing.
So to wrap up this lengthy ramble, these days... I don't think I need make-up. I do wear it sometimes, but I don't think of it as my "face" like my grandma did. I think of it more like my "mask" kinda like Jenna Marbles from the first video did, it's a trick. I put it on to conform, because that's what our society seems to think is acceptable. I put it on because I make more money that way. I put it on because it's kind of fun to compare the beginning product with the end product, but I realize that I am both of these things and I don't hate my face without it. I like me with or without make-up, in a sweatshirt or a corset, but knowing that I don't have to be in competition with pretty girls, knowing that part of the difference between me and a perfect magazine model is just a handful of tricks... I feel like this is half the battle.
I guess to sum it all up, don't compare yourself to fake illusions as if they were reality. They aren't. They never will be because everyone else is buying into this fake standard of beauty as well. Now, the other problem is much more difficult... Once you learn that make-up and all this crap can make you just like every other pretty girl on the street... let it all go and realize you don't need any of it.
As a side note, of COURSE women are beautiful and wonderful without make-up. I am not saying that these things are needed in any way shape or form! (I think my girlfriend is the most beautiful person on the planet and she wears no make-up and almost never dresses up, haha.) What I AM saying is that there is a different level of standard in society/the media that does say that these things are necessary, and a lot of people do buy into it. And if you are one of these girls that lives in a harsh reality of comparison to what you see on the street and in movies and magazines, knock it off.
This is just my perspective of what I've learned in my life... and I really meant this to be helpful, but somehow... I feel the flames coming. Oh well, bring it on.
"You can make yourself into a human optical illusion."
Okay, so this video is a joke and incredibly tongue in cheek (and of course, she's pretty to begin with and really overdoes it with the "whore" make-up lol), but it still brings up a few good points... to me anyways.
I think having image issues is a two part problem. On the one hand, as Buddhists, we all know that clinging to things like make-up or clothing or working out for image issues... is really a mask for an underlying problem. Regardless of how pretty you make yourself at 20 or 30 or 40 or whenever!, someday that beauty will always fade and clinging to it will not be helpful in the grand scheme of impermanence.
But... on the other hand, we are surrounded by a society that is obsessed with make-up and new clothes and push up bras and tanning etc. etc. etc. So when you look around and see all of these women who look like goddesses walking around, it's hard not to compare.
I personally, grew up with a grandmother who referred to make-up as "putting on her face" and even I barely ever saw her without it. I rebelled against this female image thing for a long time but eventually just sort of felt like, "Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." So now, before going to work, I do have a lengthy beauty regiment. I don't feel bad about this anymore because I discovered how spending time to wash my face/exfoliate/spot treat really does clear up my skin. As an artist, I can appreciate that eyeliner creates a certain amount of contrast and really does make your eyes pop, and since eyes are INCREDIBLY important for human interaction, this can be helpful in dealing with people. And eyeshadow... well, this is probably the most fun part of my regiment because, once again, as an artist... you can do so many cool things with different color combinations. But anyways, I digress... the point is, those goddesses that you see walking around... I can almost guarantee that they don't roll out of the bed that way. There's typically A LOT of time and money that goes into your typical "pretty" girl.
Money on haircare (hair cuts, dyes, product) I personally use three different hair products everyday and 2 different kinds of shampoo on a rotating basis (I'm prone to dandruff).
I wear three different kinds of make-up on my skin (not every day). Plus facial lotion. Plus two different types of acne treatments. Plus exfoliation.
Altogether, I have a lot of different eye-shadows and eyeliners and mascaras etc, but these are depending on my mood.
And really, most of the time I'm opting for a "natural" look (ironically). I take probably half the time getting ready that my friends typically do.
And don't even look at magazines, computers make everything so fake these days it's hard to tell the way anybody really looks anymore.
Take a look at this tongue in cheek video selling Adobe Photoshop (image editing software) as a beauty tool:
And last but not least, I really like this picture of these Victoria Secret models before and after make-up/lighting/outfits/photoshop editing:
They are models, so of course they're going to look a bit better to begin with, but regardless... I feel like the contrast between the beginning and the end product is still pretty amazing.
So to wrap up this lengthy ramble, these days... I don't think I need make-up. I do wear it sometimes, but I don't think of it as my "face" like my grandma did. I think of it more like my "mask" kinda like Jenna Marbles from the first video did, it's a trick. I put it on to conform, because that's what our society seems to think is acceptable. I put it on because I make more money that way. I put it on because it's kind of fun to compare the beginning product with the end product, but I realize that I am both of these things and I don't hate my face without it. I like me with or without make-up, in a sweatshirt or a corset, but knowing that I don't have to be in competition with pretty girls, knowing that part of the difference between me and a perfect magazine model is just a handful of tricks... I feel like this is half the battle.
I guess to sum it all up, don't compare yourself to fake illusions as if they were reality. They aren't. They never will be because everyone else is buying into this fake standard of beauty as well. Now, the other problem is much more difficult... Once you learn that make-up and all this crap can make you just like every other pretty girl on the street... let it all go and realize you don't need any of it.
As a side note, of COURSE women are beautiful and wonderful without make-up. I am not saying that these things are needed in any way shape or form! (I think my girlfriend is the most beautiful person on the planet and she wears no make-up and almost never dresses up, haha.) What I AM saying is that there is a different level of standard in society/the media that does say that these things are necessary, and a lot of people do buy into it. And if you are one of these girls that lives in a harsh reality of comparison to what you see on the street and in movies and magazines, knock it off.
This is just my perspective of what I've learned in my life... and I really meant this to be helpful, but somehow... I feel the flames coming. Oh well, bring it on.
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Comments
@Dakini I don't wear anything I have to fuss over, so I refuse to do any sort of lip stuff other than chapstick. The most I do is check my make-up when I wash my hands in the bathroom, which I'm likely to look at my face anyways. But you know, I refuse to carry a purse... so this might have something to do with the reason I don't check it or carry a mirror, lol.
Tragically, even though I'm in the UK - i could name a couple of similar places - I know just what you mean...... :rolleyes:
But seriously guys, when I think like that, I feel better for a second... and then instantly worse and mean, lol.
I've seen some really beautiful people - very attractive, handsome people - looking really dreadful because either they let themselves go - or they don't know what a mirror is.
It's got nothing to do with facial ugliness, as such....personal pride, a bit of decorum... surely to goodness, there is a kind of social responsibility to do whatever you can, to be decent?
I'm not beautiful, hell, at 54, I even left 'pretty' and 'cute' behind, decades ago....
I know how people can fall into the trap of no longer caring, of 'can't be bothered'... but the moment you feel you're not worth it, is when despair sets in....
and then again, some people just plain don't get it.....
@federica I don't really care what other people look like so much, but I do care if they smell from a reasonable distance... that's where I draw my line. But I see what you're saying. I agree that a lot of it is depression and despair, like you said. But if you watch shows like, "What Not to Wear" I think you would find that no matter what age and shape, you can still look good. (Although you have to deal with the annoying hosts to get that message, lol)
@AMH I'm the same way. I know what you mean about feeling like you don't really want to discuss it. This topic comes up on the board once and a while, "Is it okay to wear make-up or is it just clinging to impermanence and illusion?" But I think it's okay so long as you feel okay without it as well.
Is this a continuation of the "I'm ugly" thread?
One thing you said @zombiegirl
"clinging to things like make-up or clothing or working out for image issues... is really a mask for an underlying problem"
I kind of disagree with. I don't think there really is any "underlying problem" even with truly disruptive or inappropriate behavior. When the Buddha talks about desire or attachment, he explains that it arises dependent upon sensation--contact--sense media. This "sensation" in the case of wearing make-up is a form of reinforcement.
For example:
No sight of pretty makeup -- Subject applies makeup --> Sight of pretty makeup
the sight of the pretty makeup reinforces the behavior of applying the makup. The sight of the pretty makeup is contact dependent upon the sense media. There is no "underlying problem", it is natural that positive sensation (contact with reinforcing sensual stimuli) will lead to an increased frequency of the reinforced behavior.
Where the notion of problem behavior comes into play, is almost always a social construct in the case of makeup, fashion, etc. The reason the Buddha says not to wear makeup is because using it reinforces the continued use of it, which is attachment. Of course, not wearing makeup is part of the 10 precepts and only enforced among laypeople for uposatha.
I don't freak out when I don't have makeup on. I mean I went many many years with it being considered socially unacceptable for me to wear makeup. But, when I do, it is most definitely reinforcing.
Also, I agree 100% with what you wrote! But... sometimes it's hard to feel like that awesome, happy, positive person that we all are at our core when you feel so rotten about your appearance. I feel like it's easier said than done to say, "Just be yourself!" But for me personally, even just at work, I make so much more money when I am having a "fuck it" day and feel like I don't care what anyone thinks about me. Then I'm able to truly express my opinions and make jokes like I would with my friends because I don't care. It's funny, but I just can't always get to that place where I can let go of other baggage and express the true awesome me.
@Talisman "clinging" was meant to be the imperative word there. I wear make-up and dress nice and take care of myself, but it's still not good to CLING to those things. I view clinging as: experiencing suffering if you could not do those things. If you suffered because people had to see you without make-up. If you suffered because you only had plain clothes to wear. If you suffered because you are obsessed with reaching/maintaining the perfect body (beyond what is simply for health purposes). The underlying problem I was eluding to is that these things can simply mask a low self worth. I believe the appropriate opinion towards these things is knowing that it can make you more beautiful to a societal standard, but also knowing that you're still beautiful without it.
This is how I view make-up: "Hah! You thought I was all perfect and whatever, but nope, just a normal girl under here with blemishes and all! Like the rest of you..."
And if anyone's curious, here's a make-up tutorial from the girl in the first video for what she normally does for her videos. It's still a hell of a lot more work than I would ever do, but she also says that it's more than she does for normal daily wear as well.
Her eyes don't look that big to me without make-up/fake eyelashes. I know that her eyebrows aren't normally like that, lol. She draws them on in the make-up tutorial and undoubtedly plucks them like everyone else. She also works out a lot, which she talks about in other videos. All in all, I think she's above average in her normal naked appearance that we see, but she puts a ton of work into her image and make-up gives the appearance that she's always a goddess right out of bed. But what I like about her is that she doesn't lie about it, she lays it all out there that she does all of these things. Having seen a lot of her other videos, I found the contrast quite shocking, to be honest. Not saying she's ugly or anything, just that it was surprising.
My whole point with this was that behind pretty people, there's usually just an "average" looking person and a bunch of time and effort. But it's so hard to find examples of this! Lol. I've thought for a while that it would be a cool idea to start a blog where users can post images of themselves before, with the make-up/hair/whatever, and then even go as far as to photoshop it to perfection for the final image. Just to illustrate how we shouldn't compare ourselves to the end product and assume that it's the norm.
Also, although I know she's pretty physically, I love Jenna Marbles because I think her personality is hilarious. It bumps her from a 7 to a 10+ in my book, no joke. Typically, I'm attracted to more "interesting" looking people. Interesting facial features, hair styles, clothing styles... These things are more important to me, it seems. My girlfriend likes big noses, which most people hate and get plastic surgery to correct... but I guess that makes me lucky, because I have one.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Kayan_woman_with_neck_rings.jpg
In some African cultures, being fat is a symbol of good life and wealth. In parts of Mauritania and Nigeria, girls and soon-to-be-brides are force-fed to make them plump and attractive.
Increasingly, there is pressure on women and young girls to look as thin as fashion models, even if their men say they prefer fleshier women.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/4566870.stm
Foot binding was the custom of binding the feet of young girls painfully tight to prevent further growth. The practice likely originated among court dancers in the early Song dynasty, but spread to upper class families and eventually became common among all classes. The tiny narrow feet were considered beautiful and to make a woman's movements more feminine and dainty.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot_binding
I'm particularly irritated by a series of advertisements currently being broadcast on UK TV, for clothing for "the bigger woman" in sizes 18 to 32.....yet all the women modelling the clothes are in the smallest size range... they have no-one truly 'big' modelling them... so you see, even in an unbiased world, which caters for those "outside the norm" (what's that, by the way??) we still believe that aesthetically, we have to present the image of the so-called acceptable.....
considering I shop at walmart once a week as well as the HEB, I find these pictures quite offensive including some of the comments above. I admit that I have gone into walmart and have seen things I wish I hadn't but I never for once thought that that there's a website dedicated to making fun of people who shop there. .
Here in NM men who have been born and raised here prefer plump women.