April Fools' Day

genkaku

On April Fools' Day, perhaps because of age, I find a small sorrow within -- where are all the really good liars, the really good yarn-spinners, the hoaxsters of the past? Sure, because this is a Buddhists bulletin board, someone will wax Buddhist about delusions and so forth, but I'm thinking of the plain old liars ... the ones who could weave a tale that had some wit and intelligence and left you laughing at yourself.

One of the best lies I can think of, though it's old, is the tale of the Purina Diet. It has class and deserves to be dusted off for April Fools' Day ... though perhaps others here have got some really good tales to add:

When someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this?.....

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.

Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.

I once did create the tale of a hunter in the Maine woods who, much to his surprise and that of game wardens, bagged a Spam Animal long thought to have been extinct. But I'll save that for another time ... when you didn't see it coming.

Got any whoppers to share?

person

The April 1985 issue of Sports Illustrated contained a story about a new rookie pitcher who planned to play for the Mets. His name was Sidd Finch, and he could reportedly throw a baseball at 168 mph with pinpoint accuracy. This was 65 mph faster than the previous record. Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never even played the game before. Instead, he had mastered the "art of the pitch" in a Tibetan monastery under the guidance of the "great poet-saint Lama Milaraspa." Mets fans celebrated their teams' amazing luck at having found such a gifted player, and they flooded Sports Illustrated with requests for more information. In reality this legendary player only existed in the imagination of the author of the article, George Plimpton, who left a clue in the sub-heading of the article: "He's a pitcher, part yogi and part recluse. Impressively liberated from our opulent life-style, Sidd's deciding about yoga —and his future in baseball." The first letter of each of these words, taken together, spelled "H-a-p-p-y A-p-r-i-l F-o-o-l-s D-a-y — A-h F-i-b

#2 on the 100 greatest April Fool's jokes of all time. The site is really slow to load today.

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/aprilfool/

person

person

Sorry for posting so many here but in case people can't get to the site, here's another I thought was great.

The April 1998 issue of the New Mexicans for Science and Reason newsletter contained an article claiming that the Alabama state legislature had voted to change the value of the mathematical constant pi from 3.14159 to the 'Biblical value' of 3.0. Soon the article made its way onto the internet, and then it rapidly spread around the world, forwarded by email. It only became apparent how far the article had spread when the Alabama legislature began receiving hundreds of calls from people protesting the legislation. The original article, which was intended as a parody of legislative attempts to circumscribe the teaching of evolution, was written by physicist Mark Boslough.

person

On 1 April 1975, Australia's This Day Tonight news program revealed that the country would soon be converting to "metric time." Under the new system there would be 100 seconds to the minute, 100 minutes to the hour, and 20-hour days. Furthermore, seconds would become millidays, minutes become centidays, and hours become decidays. The report included an interview with Deputy Premier Des Corcoran who praised the new time system. The Adelaide townhall was even shown sporting a new 10-hour metric clock face. The thumbnail (found at TelevisionAU.com) shows TDT Adelaide reporter Nigel Starck posing with a smaller metric clock. TDT received numerous calls from viewers who fell for the hoax. One frustrated viewer wanted to know how he could convert his newly purchased digital clock to metric time.

person

References to April Fool's Day can be found as early as the 1500s. However, these early references were infrequent and tended to be vague and ambiguous. Shakespeare, writing in the late sixteenth and early seventeenth centuries, made no mention of April Fool's Day, despite being, as Charles Dickens Jr. put it, a writer who "delights in fools in general."

Many theories have been put forward about how the tradition began. Unfortunately, none of them are very compelling. So the origin of the "custom of making April Fools" remains as much a mystery to us as it was back in 1708.

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/af_database/permalink/origin_of_april_fools_day

Its not really known what the origins are but there are several hypothesis put forward at the link.

AMH

Oh my, when I tell the truth or am not sarcastic it is a big deal. When I was younger I just made up stories, I would tell the person I had been lying if they didn't catch it since the point was not to deceive. Recently we had to write bios for ourselves to put out to the parents in a newsletter. The staff who didn;t want to write them I ended up making up stories, until I was told to get real info, sigh.

On a regular basis I tell tall tales, so when I am leading kids in the hallway here is my reason that I need to walk first. First I tell them I worked in a school that was 105 years old, and you know how older buildings sometimes have old things like dragons. Then I explain as we come to a corner that if I go around the corner first then the dragon will smell me. I smell like vegetables and all that healthy junk so he will probably just go to look for tastier food. But if a child who smells like candy and tasty snacks comes around the corner first then maybe the dragon will want to taste them. It works better with the younger kids,

On a side note, this was my kids' grandmothers birthday and this is the first birthday since she passed away.

person

First I tell them I worked in a school that was 105 years old, and you know how older buildings sometimes have old things like dragons. Then I explain as we come to a corner that if I go around the corner first then the dragon will smell me. I smell like vegetables and all that healthy junk so he will probably just go to look for tastier food. But if a child who smells like candy and tasty snacks comes around the corner first then maybe the dragon will want to taste them.

I never knew dragons could smell junk food on you. :hair: I'm eating healthy from now on!

sndymorn

When I was a young rake, I would find dilapidated houses in my area, then drive my dates to them at night. I would then park and weave a tale of horror, murder, disfunctional lives, golden eyes peering out from torn curtains.... none of it real but very effective in stirring emotions in my trusting date.
I scared myself once in a while!

Zayl

Last night was a nostalgia rager as Adult Swim was replaced by Toonami. For just one night. It was bittersweet, really.

Arjquad

I have convinced 2 people so far that I am from England.

federica

you're a bunch of gullibles.
I've convinced all of you i'm actually a Moderator....

AMH

Naaawww @federica, we are all just playing along to make you feel special. But I am pretty sure I wasn't supposed to say that

Zayl

@AMH great, you ruined the "Truman Show" themed prank

AMH

Never mind, (said in a Rosanna RosannaDanna voice for those who know)

DaltheJigsaw

Naaawww @federica, we are all just playing along to make you feel special. But I am pretty sure I wasn't supposed to say that

HAHA!