Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
I don't get to see movies very often...it is a treat. And there are genres of movies that I don't watch 'just because'. My pallid excuse is that they don't do anything to improve the world or enlighten me - but I know I'm a hypocrite when I watch an action movie like 'Die Hard' and shout...'yeah...F**k 'em up'.
Do I have a wrong view...by absolutely not watching certain movies?
LOL!!!
Isn't your awareness of the fact more important? There are definitely movies I won't waste time watching either, Hostel being one of them.
I don't get to see movies very often...it is a treat. And there are genres of movies that I don't watch 'just because'. My pallid excuse is that they don't do anything to improve the world or enlighten me - but I know I'm a hypocrite when I watch an action movie like 'Die Hard' and shout...'yeah...F**k 'em up'.
Do I have a wrong view...by absolutely not watching certain movies?
yea i think you take things a bit too seriously.. theres a point to censoring things to ppl who get 'emotionly hyper' i once knew this guy who would get really upset watching drama's and insanely violent watching star wars.. complete nutter and his parents and him had to stop him watching half the programs on TV...
i dont censor myself from movies.. cept porno..
because although they may not teach you much.. its all entertainment and some stories really do teach you and enlighten you.. and engage you on higher levels ..
kinda like books.. some enlighten and some just don't... but you never know which ones til you try em
...Isn't your awareness of the fact more important? ...
::
I once read about the concept of 'intentional folly'. Right or wrong, it's the idea of being aware of what you are doing - even if you are doing something that's not 'skillful'.
Have you ever been watching a movie in a theatre when you become aware of yourself in the movie-watching experience and see all the people around you? It's rare moments like these when we come 'out of ourselves' and see everything from a different perspective.
That's not to say you can do anything you like, but our attitude to the situation should be mindful, even when we find ourselves doing things we're normally not proud of. But I can see it being used as an excuse for unskillful behaviour.
the guy who killed his girlfriend.. ran away from his hometown and while seeing 'passion of the christ' he decided to give himself up to the law..
Another guy became so obsessed with akasha queen of the dead after reading the book he decided to kill his best friend, drink his blood, and then he ditched the body in the woods smeared with food in the attempt that wild animals would eat it..
there are many many tales of people commiting these sort of crimes simply because they became wound up so tightly in the world they were reading about and experiencing that they lost control and conscience of what they were doing. They became blinded and unaware of what was going on..
people so easily influenced.. shouldn't be allowed to watch movies or even read books.. I'm for free speech but only to certain point.
::
I once read about the concept of 'intentional folly'. Right or wrong, it's the idea of being aware of what you are doing - even if you are doing something that's not 'skillful'.
Have you ever been watching a movie in a theatre when you become aware of yourself in the movie-watching experience and see all the people around you? It's rare moments like these when we come 'out of ourselves' and see everything from a different perspective.
That's not to say you can do anything you like, but our attitude to the situation should be mindful, even when we find ourselves doing things we're normally not proud of. But I can see it being used as an excuse for unskillful behaviour.
::
Yes, that's what I mean exactly. But there really is no excuse after we've become aware of our actions. It's much easier to say "I wasn't aware of what I was doing and that's why I did it" or "I wasn't thinking" than it is to say "I was aware I was doing this and I kept doing it nevertheless". This is the principle that Greenpeace is founded on, the Quaker principle of "Bearing Witness". It means that once you have been made aware of an environmental atrocity you no longer have the luxury of ignorance, "I didn't know", you can't turn your head and not do anything. That's why they go to such great lengths to gain the attention of the media, to have these atrocities broadcast into our living rooms, taking away all our excuses for inaction. We have to be just as vigilant with ourselves, right?
I took the advice of those of you who liked "In Her Shoes" and saw it today. I LOVED it! Really, really loved it. I haven't seen a movie like that in a looong time. For me, character development is always the most important factor in any book or movie and I hit the jackpot with this one. And I actually liked Cameron Diaz. She was great in it. I've always loved Toni Collette, ever since "Muriel's Wedding", and Shirley Mclean can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned. I can never take my eyes off her when she's onscreen. Talk about star quality.
I also saw "Good Night and Good Luck" about Edward R. Murrow and Joseph McCarthy (poor schmuck). Fabulous! But too short for my taste. I don't usually say that about movies unless I'm really into the characters but the ending came up too fast on this one. It was too blunt, or curt, or...what's the word? But good film anyway. I loved the set design, couldn't get enough of it. Made me think of my parents when they were first married around that time. I've seen photos of their first home and the decor was exactly the same, minimalist sort of Swedish Modernish, with one big plant in the corner. lol! Very fun.
Just went and saw "X-Men 3" and "The Omen" (remake). Both had good and bad points. But I must say that "The Omen" had the best decapitation scene hands down. And Mia Farrow as Mrs. Baylock was genius!!!
If any of you haven't seen X3, you must stay until the end of the credits.
We took our daughter to see Cars this weekend. It was pretty cute. I am not a big "Larry the Cable Guy" fan, but he was perfect for the part he played in the movie. It made me laugh quite a bit. Cute storyline.
I just saw The Family Stone last night. I must say it was quite disturbing, because it showed the same dysfunctional family as my own and the way they treated my GF (now my wife).
Oh, I'll have to rent that one. I'd love to see how dysfunctional your family is. I'll try to think of a movie that's similar to my family so you can see how crazy they are.
For my family, I would have to say a good one is "If These Walls Could Talk", mainly because my family does not like to discuss any serious issues....just likes to pretend that bad things never happen!!
I will have to think of a good one for my husband's family....he comes from a very "interesting" family! I am always amazed at how normal he is considering where he came form.
Okay I know it's not a movie, but consider every episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond".
Ray is me, his MRS is mine, Robert is my younger brother-The mother is tooo much like mine-it actually scares me! The father is like mine even to the amount and pattern of hair and his facial appearance.
That series WAS definitely based on my side of the family.
My wife's side-well they're just freaks.
Her brother is overweight, her sister is Anorexic/Bulimic, the mother is a chain-smoker with emphasemia (SP.-cant be bothered today), father died of heart disease (too fat), the other sister, chain smoking caused her to have a brain hemmorage at 28-has made a complete recovery, however still friggin' psycho.
Needless to say the only person from any side we talk to is my Mrs'. brother.
(sorry to go off the topic of life-film analogies)
I saw Batman begins last night. Being a huge Batman fan when I was younger (to the point where I was Batman) I thoroughly enjoyed this film. Especially the techo-gothic achitecture of Gotham and Christian Bale's performance.
Okay I know it's not a movie, but consider every episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond".
Ray is me, his MRS is mine, Robert is my younger brother-The mother is tooo much like mine-it actually scares me! The father is like mine even to the amount and pattern of hair and his facial appearance.
That series WAS definitely based on my side of the family.
My wife's side-well they're just freaks.
Her brother is overweight, her sister is Anorexic/Bulimic, the mother is a chain-smoker with emphasemia (SP.-cant be bothered today), father died of heart disease (too fat), the other sister, chain smoking caused her to have a brain hemmorage at 28-has made a complete recovery, however still friggin' psycho.
Needless to say the only person from any side we talk to is my Mrs'. brother.
Batman begins is pretty much the only batman film i enjoy watching.. theres just something not right about the rest of them.. maybe the whole concept of batman is over played/over acted i dunno..
I just felt batman begins was better made.. and the action was better.. made more sense
Just watched "Open Water" and almost died from fear. It didn't help that I used to have a recurring nightmare when I was little that I was abandoned in the middle of the ocean by my family. The water only came up to my knees...but still.
And I also watched the first "Underworld" which I'd been avoiding "cuz I don't love Kate Beckinsale. But I do now. It was fun.
Going to watch "The New World" next. Love Colin Farrell.
Guess I'll rent "Batman Begins", too, since you guys liked it.
Xray,
OMG! That's terrible! You poor man! Oh, well. What's family anyway, really? You're true family is your wife and kids. And us.
Christian Bale is great. But I have not seen Batman Begins yet. I will have to get that one.
Brigid...wasn't Open Water crazy? I can't believe that really happened to those people. How awful and freaky. Note to self: never go scuba diving while on vacation!
Christian Bale is great. But I have not seen Batman Begins yet. I will have to get that one.
Brigid...wasn't Open Water crazy? I can't believe that really happened to those people. How awful and freaky. Note to self: never go scuba diving while on vacation!
Yeah, it was crazy all right. And it's getting worse hours after seeing it because now it's really starting to sink in that these poor people, with their whole lives ahead of them were abandoned like that...and had to...you know. I won't give any more away.
I'm never scuba diving no matter what. I love to swim but not with other beings that are not human. Can't deal with that at all. You never know what's below you or behind you...no way! Not my thing. I'm strictly a nice, clean pool girl, or a nice clean river. It's crazy for a Canadian to say this but I don't like swimming in lakes, either. Some of our lakes are so deep there could be prehistoric creatures down there...or dead bodies...or who knows what else.
"Transamerica" is next for me, too. I can't wait to see it! Well, technically not next 'cuz I still have 3 more movies already waiting for me right now. I rented 5 yesterday 'cuz I got them at the general store and I can keep them for a few days with no late charges (Wow! That makes it really sound like I live way out in the frontier, doesn't it? lol!). Next one will probably be "Hitchhiker's Guide". I hope they didn't ruin the book.
I'm never scuba diving no matter what. I love to swim but not with other beings that are not human. Can't deal with that at all. You never know what's below you or behind you...no way! Not my thing. I'm strictly a nice, clean pool girl, or a nice clean river. It's crazy for a Canadian to say this but I don't like swimming in lakes, either. Some of our lakes are so deep there could be prehistoric creatures down there...or dead bodies...or who knows what else.
I hear ya - I don't want to be in the water with anything over 2 feet long that ain't human.
A friend of mine told me that he was diving in the Puget Sound (in the Pacific Northwest of the US) and a Ling Cod that was about 6 feet long started bumping him because he was getting too close to it's babies...
I rented 5 yesterday 'cuz I got them at the general store and I can keep them for a few days with no late charges (Wow! That makes it really sound like I live way out in the frontier, doesn't it? lol!). Next one will probably be "Hitchhiker's Guide". I hope they didn't ruin the book.
The "general store"??? Where the heck do you live???
Hey, that's pretty close! 'ceptin there ain't no hitchin' posts for the horses in that photograph. And I don't know what those strange metal things are stickin' out the ground.
yes it is sad that families can be so very f...... and yes i know BF the viewing isn't great however we pay $80 bucks a month for all the good cable shows/tv channels because our free to air is crap.
Incidentally There is a music channel that seems to lay nothing but (sorry to offend) shit. let me clarify this, any person with the name? d12, p.diddy etc. is (IMHO) producing absolute garbage-misogynistic garbage at that-just listen to the PINK song stupid girls-what ever happened to a girl president....shes dancin' on a video beside 50cent....mmmm true unfortunately.
me sisters both have big mouths .. one contiusly whinges about absolutely nothing that matters and repeats it about 10 times over in 1 sitting
other sister insults me randomly .. and says stuff she really shudn't.. i know she dont mean things badly but she shud watch her mouth
4 example she said i dont know anything about "all ideas being 'shit' ppl think up"
she really doesnt know me.. i mean she visits the house about 3 times a year.. even when i was a kid she hardly talked to me.. and she left the house when i was like 13 or something..
her sayign that hurt man.. shes family
i keep most of my ideas to myself and my beliefs because they all undermine me.. I know its foolish to say but im the wisest of them all.. they belittle me because im young.. i don't beliittle ppl. even Paul at college who gets patronised by a ton of ppl.. i hate being underestimated
Sounds as if you were born into a difficult place. Siblings can really say the things that push our buttons, can't they!
If this is too intrusive, please ignore it and forgive me: have you any close friends? You sound to me as if you need someone around who likes you 'cos you're you, will listen and share the dark things without judging and will go with you into the dragon's den. {I would have to add that it took me years before I found such a one but I met some great people along the way, too.}
0
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
aah im not born into a difficult place .. or at least i realise that now.. but people can say things which hurt anywhere can't they?
and my family doesnt know how to think or live.. their idea of love is a baseless one and for that i feel dependant on it..
i need someone dependant on it too.. soo.. i suppose in a sense it has weakened me .. needing to be so loved..
my favourite 'member of the family' was when we had my sisters cat here.. i miss that cat
i have friends but many have left to go to university.. I'm not a very social person.. but i have a few ppl to talk 2 we talking in the region of 3 -5 here of these ppl there is only 1 i talk to closly and even then i keep some things to myself but very very few
oh and im only 'anti-chav' when im angry.. im actually a bit angry now.. i find i get bouts of it over weeks mebe.. but im fine atm.. i get calmer each year and so.. my tolerance for idiotic ppl and sayings, attitudes kinda goes down.. but i find it easier to control now.. buddhism helps tha
I can't help but think that there are a lot of notions and points of view that you have about your family that fall way outside of the teachings of Buddha.
It seems like there is a lot of anger and doesn't anger come (partly) from how we perceive things or expect them to be?
one of my sisters says herself that my family can't express love.. what exactly falls outside the teachings of buddha?
saying they have big mouths? well sorry but they really do... my gran has a big mouth too.... insulting ppl on purpose ..complaining for no reason.. continually whinging on 1 subject for a long long time.. and really making a mess of things.. thats what they do..
i just ignore them most of the time.. or leave the room.. it bores me.. it really does.. if it was relevant or controlled i might pay attention
one of my sisters says herself that my family can't express love.. what exactly falls outside the teachings of buddha?
saying they have big mouths? well sorry but they really do... my gran has a big mouth too.... insulting ppl on purpose ..complaining for no reason.. continually whinging on 1 subject for a long long time.. and really making a mess of things.. thats what they do..
i just ignore them most of the time.. or leave the room.. it bores me.. it really does.. if it was relevant or controlled i might pay attention
Not just family... but other people as well. When interacting with your family - do you try to help them unite or change? Or do you exhibit the same behavior you do when describing them on this forum?
You hate - or vehemently dislike - certain types of people just because you don't like what they do - or how they look - or what they wear - and it's not like they're doing anything wrong.
So your family can't express love - are they to be ridiculed, demeaned, criticized? Are you not a part of this family? Are you the only one showing love? Maybe "you" showing true and completely accepting love is the catalyst your family needs...?
It also seems to me that the same things you are ridiculing your family for doing is a trait that you seem quite comfortable doing yourself.
223. Overcome the angry by non-anger; overcome the wicked by goodness; overcome the miser by generosity; overcome the liar by truth.
224. Speak the truth; yield not to anger; when asked, give even if you only have a little. By these three means can one reach the presence of the gods.
...
232. Let a man guard himself against irritability in speech; let him be controlled in speech. Abandoning verbal misconduct, let him practice good conduct in speech.
233. Let a man guard himself against irritability in thought; let him be controlled in mind. Abandoning mental misconduct, let him practice good conduct in thought.
133. Speak not harshly to anyone, for those thus spoken to might retort. Indeed, angry speech hurts, and retaliation may overtake you.
I'm truly not trying to be an ass here - you can feel completely free to tell me to go f*#& myself. I just thought that you might want to hear how this sounds from an outside source.
Comments
LOL!!!
Isn't your awareness of the fact more important? There are definitely movies I won't waste time watching either, Hostel being one of them.
darn it! Brigid is nearly three times my posts...
And I don't have two children, a husband (wife in your case) and a career, so that's probably why I have so many more posts than you. lol!!
yea i think you take things a bit too seriously.. theres a point to censoring things to ppl who get 'emotionly hyper' i once knew this guy who would get really upset watching drama's and insanely violent watching star wars.. complete nutter and his parents and him had to stop him watching half the programs on TV...
i dont censor myself from movies.. cept porno..
because although they may not teach you much.. its all entertainment and some stories really do teach you and enlighten you.. and engage you on higher levels ..
kinda like books.. some enlighten and some just don't... but you never know which ones til you try em
I once read about the concept of 'intentional folly'. Right or wrong, it's the idea of being aware of what you are doing - even if you are doing something that's not 'skillful'.
Have you ever been watching a movie in a theatre when you become aware of yourself in the movie-watching experience and see all the people around you? It's rare moments like these when we come 'out of ourselves' and see everything from a different perspective.
That's not to say you can do anything you like, but our attitude to the situation should be mindful, even when we find ourselves doing things we're normally not proud of. But I can see it being used as an excuse for unskillful behaviour.
::
Another guy became so obsessed with akasha queen of the dead after reading the book he decided to kill his best friend, drink his blood, and then he ditched the body in the woods smeared with food in the attempt that wild animals would eat it..
there are many many tales of people commiting these sort of crimes simply because they became wound up so tightly in the world they were reading about and experiencing that they lost control and conscience of what they were doing. They became blinded and unaware of what was going on..
people so easily influenced.. shouldn't be allowed to watch movies or even read books.. I'm for free speech but only to certain point.
Yes, that's what I mean exactly. But there really is no excuse after we've become aware of our actions. It's much easier to say "I wasn't aware of what I was doing and that's why I did it" or "I wasn't thinking" than it is to say "I was aware I was doing this and I kept doing it nevertheless". This is the principle that Greenpeace is founded on, the Quaker principle of "Bearing Witness". It means that once you have been made aware of an environmental atrocity you no longer have the luxury of ignorance, "I didn't know", you can't turn your head and not do anything. That's why they go to such great lengths to gain the attention of the media, to have these atrocities broadcast into our living rooms, taking away all our excuses for inaction. We have to be just as vigilant with ourselves, right?
I also saw "Good Night and Good Luck" about Edward R. Murrow and Joseph McCarthy (poor schmuck). Fabulous! But too short for my taste. I don't usually say that about movies unless I'm really into the characters but the ending came up too fast on this one. It was too blunt, or curt, or...what's the word? But good film anyway. I loved the set design, couldn't get enough of it. Made me think of my parents when they were first married around that time. I've seen photos of their first home and the decor was exactly the same, minimalist sort of Swedish Modernish, with one big plant in the corner. lol! Very fun.
If any of you haven't seen X3, you must stay until the end of the credits.
cheers,
X
"Dumb and Dumber" or "Cold Mountain"
-bf
I will have to think of a good one for my husband's family....he comes from a very "interesting" family!
Would you be the "dumber-er" part of your family??
I guess it would depend on who you asked
-bf
Ray is me, his MRS is mine, Robert is my younger brother-The mother is tooo much like mine-it actually scares me! The father is like mine even to the amount and pattern of hair and his facial appearance.
That series WAS definitely based on my side of the family.
My wife's side-well they're just freaks.
Her brother is overweight, her sister is Anorexic/Bulimic, the mother is a chain-smoker with emphasemia (SP.-cant be bothered today), father died of heart disease (too fat), the other sister, chain smoking caused her to have a brain hemmorage at 28-has made a complete recovery, however still friggin' psycho.
Needless to say the only person from any side we talk to is my Mrs'. brother.
I saw Batman begins last night. Being a huge Batman fan when I was younger (to the point where I was Batman) I thoroughly enjoyed this film. Especially the techo-gothic achitecture of Gotham and Christian Bale's performance.
Oh, you poor soul, er, non-soul, er, something!
I just felt batman begins was better made.. and the action was better.. made more sense
And I also watched the first "Underworld" which I'd been avoiding "cuz I don't love Kate Beckinsale. But I do now. It was fun.
Going to watch "The New World" next. Love Colin Farrell.
Guess I'll rent "Batman Begins", too, since you guys liked it.
Xray,
OMG! That's terrible! You poor man! Oh, well. What's family anyway, really? You're true family is your wife and kids. And us.
Brigid...wasn't Open Water crazy? I can't believe that really happened to those people. How awful and freaky. Note to self: never go scuba diving while on vacation!
Not everybody loves Raymond, my friend...
-bf
Yeah, it was crazy all right. And it's getting worse hours after seeing it because now it's really starting to sink in that these poor people, with their whole lives ahead of them were abandoned like that...and had to...you know. I won't give any more away.
I'm never scuba diving no matter what. I love to swim but not with other beings that are not human. Can't deal with that at all. You never know what's below you or behind you...no way! Not my thing. I'm strictly a nice, clean pool girl, or a nice clean river. It's crazy for a Canadian to say this but I don't like swimming in lakes, either. Some of our lakes are so deep there could be prehistoric creatures down there...or dead bodies...or who knows what else.
"Transamerica" is next for me, too. I can't wait to see it! Well, technically not next 'cuz I still have 3 more movies already waiting for me right now. I rented 5 yesterday 'cuz I got them at the general store and I can keep them for a few days with no late charges (Wow! That makes it really sound like I live way out in the frontier, doesn't it? lol!). Next one will probably be "Hitchhiker's Guide". I hope they didn't ruin the book.
I hear ya - I don't want to be in the water with anything over 2 feet long that ain't human.
A friend of mine told me that he was diving in the Puget Sound (in the Pacific Northwest of the US) and a Ling Cod that was about 6 feet long started bumping him because he was getting too close to it's babies...
No thank you.
-bf
Ling Cod ala Puget Sound...
The "general store"??? Where the heck do you live???
If I saw that in the water, I'd do like an octopus when it squirts ink...
It just wouldn't be "ink" I'd be squirting...
-bf
It's really quite civilized where Brigid lives...
They got a store n toilet n ever'thing all sivilized like...
-bf
-bf
What the heck's a bed?
(Talk about off topic!)
yes it is sad that families can be so very f...... and yes i know BF the viewing isn't great however we pay $80 bucks a month for all the good cable shows/tv channels because our free to air is crap.
Incidentally There is a music channel that seems to lay nothing but (sorry to offend) shit. let me clarify this, any person with the name? d12, p.diddy etc. is (IMHO) producing absolute garbage-misogynistic garbage at that-just listen to the PINK song stupid girls-what ever happened to a girl president....shes dancin' on a video beside 50cent....mmmm true unfortunately.
cheers.
love you all.
me mum is backward and won't listen
me dad thinks he knows all
me sisters both have big mouths .. one contiusly whinges about absolutely nothing that matters and repeats it about 10 times over in 1 sitting
other sister insults me randomly .. and says stuff she really shudn't.. i know she dont mean things badly but she shud watch her mouth
4 example she said i dont know anything about "all ideas being 'shit' ppl think up"
she really doesnt know me.. i mean she visits the house about 3 times a year.. even when i was a kid she hardly talked to me.. and she left the house when i was like 13 or something..
her sayign that hurt man.. shes family
i keep most of my ideas to myself and my beliefs because they all undermine me.. I know its foolish to say but im the wisest of them all.. they belittle me because im young.. i don't beliittle ppl. even Paul at college who gets patronised by a ton of ppl.. i hate being underestimated
Sounds as if you were born into a difficult place. Siblings can really say the things that push our buttons, can't they!
If this is too intrusive, please ignore it and forgive me: have you any close friends? You sound to me as if you need someone around who likes you 'cos you're you, will listen and share the dark things without judging and will go with you into the dragon's den. {I would have to add that it took me years before I found such a one but I met some great people along the way, too.}
and my family doesnt know how to think or live.. their idea of love is a baseless one and for that i feel dependant on it..
i need someone dependant on it too.. soo.. i suppose in a sense it has weakened me .. needing to be so loved..
my favourite 'member of the family' was when we had my sisters cat here.. i miss that cat
i have friends but many have left to go to university.. I'm not a very social person.. but i have a few ppl to talk 2 we talking in the region of 3 -5 here of these ppl there is only 1 i talk to closly and even then i keep some things to myself but very very few
oh and im only 'anti-chav' when im angry.. im actually a bit angry now.. i find i get bouts of it over weeks mebe.. but im fine atm.. i get calmer each year and so.. my tolerance for idiotic ppl and sayings, attitudes kinda goes down.. but i find it easier to control now.. buddhism helps tha
I can't help but think that there are a lot of notions and points of view that you have about your family that fall way outside of the teachings of Buddha.
It seems like there is a lot of anger and doesn't anger come (partly) from how we perceive things or expect them to be?
Peace...
-bf
one of my sisters says herself that my family can't express love.. what exactly falls outside the teachings of buddha?
saying they have big mouths? well sorry but they really do... my gran has a big mouth too.... insulting ppl on purpose ..complaining for no reason.. continually whinging on 1 subject for a long long time.. and really making a mess of things.. thats what they do..
i just ignore them most of the time.. or leave the room.. it bores me.. it really does.. if it was relevant or controlled i might pay attention
Not just family... but other people as well. When interacting with your family - do you try to help them unite or change? Or do you exhibit the same behavior you do when describing them on this forum?
You hate - or vehemently dislike - certain types of people just because you don't like what they do - or how they look - or what they wear - and it's not like they're doing anything wrong.
So your family can't express love - are they to be ridiculed, demeaned, criticized? Are you not a part of this family? Are you the only one showing love? Maybe "you" showing true and completely accepting love is the catalyst your family needs...?
It also seems to me that the same things you are ridiculing your family for doing is a trait that you seem quite comfortable doing yourself.
I'm truly not trying to be an ass here - you can feel completely free to tell me to go f*#& myself. I just thought that you might want to hear how this sounds from an outside source.
I truly do wish you the best.
-bf