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Drinking

Wisdom23Wisdom23 Veteran
in Diet & Habits
Ok i am new to buddhism and have descided to give up alcohol i was never a huge drinker anyway and i thought it would do myself some good. But i know that whenever go out i am either pressured into a drink or feel pressured and even if non of this happens i feel a bit out of the circle because i am not drinking can anyone shed some light on how i can manage this social siuation

Comments

  • Lee82Lee82 Veteran
    It's all about self control. Do you really want to stop drinking? Are you doing it for the right reasons? I haven't drank very much since I was about 20 (10 years ago) but I still enjoy myself when I go out. I drink shandy instead of lager and take my time. Often I will drive and that gives me the perfect reason not to drink very much. If you really want to be tea-total then you I would suggest you just do it and try not to worry about what other people think, those who are good friends and family will support you and those who are not will put pressure on you to change.

    Personally I wouldn't give up alcohol, I enjoy it and it makes me open up a little, even if I have only small amounts. Alcohol also has positive effects on your body in moderation e.g. the antioxidants in red wine. Recently I have given up caffeine as I understand the effect it has on my body. I did it once before because i was trying to find a cure for headaches that turned out to be caused by something entirely different. I had caffeine withdrawal the first time and the same about 4 weeks ago when I stopped again. Withdrawal only lasts for about 2-3 days and then your body readjusts to not being dependant on the caffeine.

    As long as you are comfortable with what you are doing and you are doing it for the right reasons then stick with it. Those around you will adjust to the new you.
    Wisdom23
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    Yes. be true to yourself.
    "I've given up drinking.
    I no longer drink.
    I'd love something non-alcoholic, thanks. And please don't worry about me, I will still be having a good time. And guess what> I can drive you home!"

    (Providing you can drive, that is!)

    Stand by your principles, and look the world in the eye. What's to fear?

    And I'll tell you what - there is nothing more 'sobering' than watching people for whom you have affection, making complete asses of themselves by going overboard and over-doing it.
    Jeesh.
    Now who looks dumb? :D
    poptartMaryAnne
  • Wisdom23Wisdom23 Veteran
    dude thank up for your answer much appriciated

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    (Which 'dude'...? :scratch: )
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    Wisdom23 said:

    Ok i am new to buddhism and have descided to give up alcohol i was never a huge drinker anyway and i thought it would do myself some good. But i know that whenever go out i am either pressured into a drink or feel pressured and even if non of this happens i feel a bit out of the circle because i am not drinking can anyone shed some light on how i can manage this social siuation

    1. As Red Skelton said in a film when asked if he was a man or a mouse, "I'm a man, but let me know if you see any cats around." What you do is up to you, not up to your friends. You only need to answer to yourself. And, it's Buddhism you are relating to, so remember the 5 Precepts.

    2. My father drank a quart of Black Velvet a day at home...and then went out and did the rounds...for 30 years. Then, one day, he simply stopped drinking all at once with no medical aids. If he can stop drinking (and smoking...he was a 4 pack a day man) that easily, trust me...you can, too.

    3. My father still went and made the rounds of the bars every day after he stopped drinking, to see his pals. All he drank was ginger ale. They still had a great time.

    amandathetexan
  • MaryAnneMaryAnne Veteran
    Order a Coke with a lime and people will assume you're drinking a rum and coke. Order a Sprite or 7-Up with a lemon wedge and they will assume you're drinking a gin and tonic. Order a near-beer (non alcohol beer) no one will be the wiser. ;)

    The only time this doesn't work well is when someone buys you a round of what they assume you are drinking!

  • Wisdom23Wisdom23 Veteran
    federica said:

    (Which 'dude'...? :scratch: )

    well i wrote it after first response but i am thankful to anyone who replies.
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    If you don't want to have any drinks, then just don't have them :) I don't know how old you are, but with the exception of the time I was 20-22, I never had any problems with anyone giving me crap if I didn't want to drink at any particular occasion. Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn't, and no one hassled me. Most people these days are pretty respectful of the fact that someone doesn't want to smoke/drink/take a bong hit. They might offer, or they might ask "you aren't having anything?" but they aren't going to usually tease your or anything. If you are feeling pressure, are you sure that isn't coming from you and not others in the social group? As mom's always say, just because someone else is doing it, doesn't mean you have to. In fact if "everyone is doing it" that's the best time to step back and investigate why.
    Wisdom23
  • FoibleFullFoibleFull Canada Veteran
    You handle it like a practicing Buddhist handles all situations: rather than trying to "fix" things so they go "better" .. you observe what IS. Especially what IS within yourself.

    I had to come to terms with this when I was young ... I react very badly to all CNS depressants (alcohol, general anesthesia, etc), so I quit drinking shortly after I started. One thing I found was this: when you are sober and everyone else is drinking, you become very aware of how they are trying too hard to be happy. This prompts a lot of self-examination and examination in general about what happiness is, what we think happiness might be and whether or not that is what happiness actually is ... and a lot of observation and just paying attention to living. Which is what Buddhism is all about anyway.
    ThailandTomvinlynPrairieGhost
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