To Fail

zenff

According to legend Martin Luther said:
Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God.
I’m not at all sure it is historically correct and I have no special feelings for the man, but the quote appeals to me.
I think we have to reach that point where the way we see things is inescapable. We stop pretending and sparing people and we just say how it is. There is no other way.

I think it is important that people do that; especially when what they feel is uncomfortable and controversial. The sincerity in itself is precious. Sincerity – maybe - is the doorway to enlightenment. We can’t fake our way there. “Not faking anymore” and “awakening” seem almost synonymous to me.

What I like about the quote specifically is that it comes across as a defeat. Like you want to comply and you tried but it simply didn’t work. It’s not like you gained some insight and are so happy with it, it’s like you finally admit that you permanently failed in running away from it.
I suppose that’s how we reach enlightenment; all our strategies for avoiding it and denying it finally fail.

At this point of failing there’s nothing to fight for. It’s more like being helpless. I stand here, I can do no other, I simply can’t.
Sincerely failing in keeping up our fake identity is just the realistic description of how we wake up to who we really are.

Jeffrey

Saying you failed itself is a fake identity. (Just a thought)

zenff

Okay, so I lost one more.

Jeffrey

No no, you didn't lose (or fail ). Your piece was quality I just had a thought to contribute. If you say you fail it is just in your head. But like you say we want to 'fail' in having a fake identity. I just think there is a simplicity in just letting it all go as just thoughts.

lobster

I don't think the expression is required but the personal integrity, most definetly. What to express, when and how, seems to require wisdom.
For example many years ago, by argument, I once convinced someone their Christian belief was inherently nonsense. However I offered no alternative and therefore had produced suffering without producing the means to resolve it. Not skilful.
The personal positioning does change, it may actually change to its opposite but we should be honest, impartial and attentive to who and what we are.
This is why peoples personal unfolding and realisations are so important. :clap: I find them an inspired personal honesty and example.

how

Just saying how things are ignores skillfull means. It is not enough to know a truth, or even the answer to anothers question. The skillfull response is a demonstration of your own egolessness with the timing and content just being a reflection of that.

Jeffrey

We have an ego, but it's just layers of thought. So you see through your bars and cages.

Jeffrey

The ego is dependently arisen like a dream. Like a bit of foam on a wave in the ocean, dependently arisen like in a dream

zenff

Thanks @lobster and @how, you made a good point. And yes I can see that being honest and saying how it is, can be a harmful thing to do under circumstances.

The examples that I can think of involve children mostly or people who we suppose cannot handle the ruthless facts of life and who we should allow their illusions; people we don’t take completely seriously. A century ago I could add “like women” as just an obvious footnote.
When we keep our honest feelings and notions to ourselves we don’t take the other person seriously. In the long run – for example – you can’t do this to your partner. And it was cruel when men in general did it to women in general not so long ago.
(Of course I’m not talking about having a polite conversation; I’m talking about when what we think and feel is relevant and the subject is serious.)

And we are also being cruel to ourselves (let’s say as men, as a stereotype) when we deny expressing our deepest thoughts and emotions and when we keep up a strong unbreakable façade of certainty and invulnerability. There is some wisdom in the Buddhist precept that recommends us to be truthful. It is self-liberating. When we finally can be open and honest there’s a burden lifted from our hearts.

So I agree with you. It probably isn’t always smart (or wise) to say everything that is on our minds in full honesty. But on essential matters we must be true to ourselves and take the other person seriously and trust them.

imho