Bad Buddha

lobster

When I become an enlightened Buddha, which I have pencilled in for March/April 2013, expectations will be high?
New dharma? Profound blessings and insights? Siddhis, rainbows and above all immaculate compassion?

Or of course I might just wake up.

Maybe I will be more mindful, more skilful. Maybe not.
I could end up the worst Buddha in the history of enlightenment.
What sort of Buddha are you expecting to be? :wave:

BhikkhuJayasara

the type that grows old and dies..

taiyaki

Just myself.

Cory

I am expecting to be who I truly am soulfully. I have learned many things. The most inportant it is to eliminate the ego, and to let the soul flow freely which will allow me to act off of impulse and instinct.

lamaramadingdong

Lobster- will you still be posting here once you're a Buddha? Hope so.

how

Pencilled in??? Perhaps you will be the Buddha that fears no eraser.

BhanteLucky

Bad Buddha would be a great movie... Like the awesome Bad Santa and the less good Bad Teacher.
John Candy as the buddha?
Or Jeff Bridges all fat and dope smoking.

lobster

lamaramadingdong said:

Lobster- will you still be posting here once you're a Buddha? Hope so.

Nothing is certain (so I have heard) :wave:

I may be ahead of schedule. After taking the Pepsi Challenge, I have been unleashed . . .
http://www.liberationunleashed.com/

This is what my guide tells me . . .

As you have no sense of 'self' you require no further guidance for me. I wish you well in your practice. Farewell.

However with all these rogue Buddhas, guileless guides and well meaning crustaceans about we have to be extra mindful.

I_AM_THAT

Are you sure your not a Buddha now?

Dakini

lobster said:

What sort of Buddha are you expecting to be? :wave:

I'm not expecting anything. I'm too busy helping others.

Patr

@lobster,
Why dont you switch camps instead and become god. Buddha only teaches but god dispenses.

The new Galaxy S4 will be out soon, for that you can have my vote eternally (or until the S5 comes out).

vinlyn

Patr said:

@lobster,
Why dont you switch camps instead and become god. Buddha only teaches but god dispenses.

The new Galaxy S4 will be out soon, for that you can have my vote eternally (or until the S5 comes out).

@Patr, you aren't questioning Lobster's posts, are you?????

jll

you may become an arahant
but not a buddha.

an arahant has no mental suffering,
that is pretty cool.

please drop me a note when you are sure
that you are enlightened.

lobster said:

When I become an enlightened Buddha, which I have pencilled in for March/April 2013, expectations will be high?
New dharma? Profound blessings and insights? Siddhis, rainbows and above all immaculate compassion?

Or of course I might just wake up.

Maybe I will be more mindful, more skilful. Maybe not.
I could end up the worst Buddha in the history of enlightenment.
What sort of Buddha are you expecting to be? :wave:

lobster

@lobster,
Why dont you switch camps instead and become god

Enlightened Sushi first, Cod next year.
Also despite my best effortlessness I may only end up an errant arahant . . .
[lobster hangs head in resignation]

I hope to be able to say wise things like my mentor, Olli the octopus:

'Be kind to the fishy and find the sauce of your being'

Gui

Oh lobster, will you please lighten up?

Jeffrey

I'll settle for dispenser of dog treats... that's kind of bodhisattvalike?