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Am I the only one
who isn't crazy about vacation? I went on a five day trip - Shimla in India, then some snowclad peaks in manali, did the usual stuff like snowmobiles, rafting, etc. For others, this would have been a dream, but for me it was boring and meaningless.
To be honest, nothing excites me anymore - not even a 'dream' vacation like this.
Has anyone felt this way? Is it a sign of depression - or perhaps enlightenment?
To be honest, nothing excites me anymore - not even a 'dream' vacation like this.
Has anyone felt this way? Is it a sign of depression - or perhaps enlightenment?
1
Comments
I enjoy meeting new people and seeing new scenery, but traveling is utterly exhausting for me, especially with 3 kids, and I usually find I need a vacation after the vacation is done. But sometimes, having fun just for the sake of having fun, is ok I think. But why do things, and spend money on, something you don't enjoy or find fun?
:wave:
Good luck.
If it were me in the group of friends, I'd rather that someone just speak up if they don't want to come. I wouldn't want someone to tag along out of obligation if they didn't enjoy it. I wouldn't feel hurt, either, over someone who opted not to join. But, I don't know your friends or culture, either. Perhaps you are thinking your friends will react in a way they wouldn't.
My dream vacation is a campfire, a stream, a trail, under stars, acoustic guitar, ALONE. The vacation that you described sounded like sonething i wanted to do when i was 18. But, we change.
Wherever you go, there you are.
@music you have great potential, is anything changing? Yesterday I was quite worried about not having heard from you on the forum. I tried at least four times to send a personal message but it just kept insisting I sign in to the forum, I was already signed in.
Que?
Then you posted about your miserable vacation (sounded great - apart from the misery) so I was very glad to hear from you, as I felt great insistence on trying to get a message of support to you.
People here do not want you to be unhappy or depressed. Some would even advise going easy on the enlightenment . . .
Who you are is not working for you. Meditation may not be enough? I would ask people use puja and prayer to support @music, if that is their way . . .
:wave:
But of course it could just be ennui, or a chemical imbalance, or a cynicism that grows naturally with age, or other things. Only you could know.
If you found the activities boring and meaningless, why did you do them? Why not do something that you find engaging if perhaps not altogether meaningful?
What you describe is one of the broad range of symptoms presented by depression - it is difficult assessing from an isolated example whether you may be clinically depressed or not - probably best to seek medical advice.
Perhaps it is enlightenment - I suppose you'd know if it were.
However, if I had to go on a vacation? I would still enjoy it. Why? Because it's not about having aversion to going on vacation, but rather being able to appreciate it when it comes, and not miss it when it goes/stops. I would probably enjoy going on vacation at the same intensity as I would sitting at home and playing on the computer.
I have been finding many things "meaningless" in my life ever since I was a child. Back then I believe that was simply a state of depression and/or disdain, relating directly back to ego. A good example of this is looking back on Christmas morning, and realizing that the gifts I asked Santa for did not fulfill me like I thought they would. As soon as I opened my present and played with it for 5 minutes, like so many of us in life, I no longer wanted it and realized it did not bring me happiness or contentment. I was still searching for more.
However the older I become, I see it transforming more into a state of contentment and non-grasping. Not saying that I have mastered this by any means, but sometimes I think depression can be the baby steps before reaching some form of appreciation for non-attachment. But getting over that hurdle is the hardest part. Sadly, not many people make it past that point and get stuck there.
If you love travel fine, dont get caught up in it so much that you lose your self constantly thinking "where to go next?"
Wherever you are, life is right there...not over on some " paradise island "
How can one feel peace happiness or contentment when they believe such beliefs? Enlightenment is when we don't believe ANY thoughts anymore! We can just rest in being and relax and not cling to views no matter positive or negative. I'm sorry I won't ramble more, but I hope you do look into this music- you and all beings deserve happiness and peace and can enjoy precious human life!
To see the world as it truly is can either be a curse, and lead unto depression, or as a source of great mental power and lead unto enlightenment. If you let yourself become existentially depressed (as opposed to chemical depression which you have no influence over), you're just swapping one illusion - where the world is full of joy and wonder, for another where the world is full of meaninglessness and oblivion.
What you want to aim for is the region between excitement and boredom, both of these reactions to the world signify a deep attachment, or embedding of the mind in the illusion we create of the world around us. An experience is just an experience.
Although the Buddha spoke of disenchantment with the world, I've found my practice enlivens my experience of every moment of life. You have the rest of eternity to be dead. When you truly confront death, life becomes imbued with wonder. The precarious odds of your existence, the nature of consciousness, the peculiarities of being born in a human incarnation, the diversity with which name and form expresses itself. The Buddha in the Pali cannon is often called "the happy one." This is what we are meant to wake up to more and more.
@Music, been there, done that, anti depressants worked for me, 5 or 6 days, different world.
Namaste
Are you even interested in the activities that you did in India? If not, that could also be a reason.
Just because it might be a "dream vacation" for others doesn't mean it would be the same for you. I really want to visit India, but mainly for pilgrimage reasons so doing the things you did seem sort of boring to me too. Well that, and I live in Canada where I can do those things easily anyway...
And, of course, different people enjoy different things.
It was smelly, rainy, crowded, and we couldn't afford anything. We spent quite a bit of time griping because we expected too much. When we went to the Arc de Triomphe, my gf actually said "Oh, that's it?"
I hope that if you determine that you're experiencing depression, you will get some help. It is an illness, and you can get well. I had some short-term therapy and mild medication for about 8 months. That was about 4 years ago. It was the first (and so far, last) time I've had depression. I'm glad I got some help, and I hope that if you have depression, you'll get help as well.
All the best to you.
It has a solid reputation for being unfriendly to tourists, esp the Yanks and the Brits.
P is for liviing each moment with passion and enthusiasm
I is for living integrally
M is s for living by my own means. I am a free agent and i am able to decide for myself what is right or wrong good or bad.
M is for meaningful. Dedicating my time to things that go beyong my experience. I am only here a short time and out of seven billion people i am fairly insignificant but if me the one can help another person each person will hopefully help another and so the chain spreads.
S can either stand for simplicity because the world is to complicated as it is or it stands for sarcasm, i do love clever wit.
I am thinking about adding a C for curiousity lol.
I hope my rambling helps
All the best
This year I went on Pilgrimage to India, and with the exception of Lumbini (couldn't get a Nepal visa in time), visited and paid reverence and homage at all the major sites of significance. I experienced some unspeakable highs (Vultures peak, meditating in the cave the Buddha stayed at for many years) and also some really lows (Sravasti, where the Anathapindika monastery and Jetta groves are) where I really couldn't connect... So much it down to conditions, and those which we can effect, great, but many we cant.
If you have sought medical help and support then I applaud you - I struggled with poor mental health for years, and very occasionally the "black dog" enters the room still, but you aren't broken, and im sure by a combination of turning your awareness onto itself and looking at your direct experience more closely you may find that your day to day life holds more joy and untold treasure than you could ever wish to find at the ends of the earth.
If anyone cares, I wrote about my struggles with depression following the Pilgrimage recently, and of my life changing back injury, without which I would not have had o start looking in the world in this way, being as I am now living with chronic pain. May it be of some use to those suffering in some way.
With more love and metta than I could ever hope to express,
Jay xx :-D
thedharma-farmer.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/back-to-basics-confessions-of-broken.html
:wave: