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How to stay peaceful in an "egoic" environment?
Mateeah
Explorer
When people around are deeply in the trance of the separate self, hanging on to addictions and suffering and all this, how do you stay true to your true self? I find when I'm around this energy it is very hard for me to stay peaceful; for some reason I am very sensitive to this, I imagine it will change as I get more practice. Does anyone have any tips? Thank you in advance!
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Sorry i didnt just post the video, though- my device limits the amount of awesomeness i can dump onto this site!
That isn't always possible and isn't in your case judging by your post. If I don't have to engage directly much I will put on my mp3 player and listen to some Dharma teachings or something else I find interesting.
I found that as my practice gets more solid I can stay true to my self even when my emotions get amped up. Mostly though I just need time alone at the end of the day to clear the energy away and settle myself down.
I have yet to find out for myself if this works or not.
One strategy a lady taught me recently is to actually compliment people when they are caught in mean-ness. Sounds strange, but if someone is saying something rude or being really possessive you can just say you're very kind or very nice. She said usually people are so dumbstruck they don't know how to respond. I have yet to try this technique, but maybe it can have good results?
Above all, don't take it personally. Which can mean a lot, but if you think about it I think it can become clear that people have their own life situations / enculturation / background and when you interact it's like cross-checking this current experience with all the past memories, trying to come to a course of action. Of course, if you can remain attentive to the body and the mind without grasping or evaluating or judging what is happening, then you may find that whatever was uncomfortable got burnt up in the brightness of awareness. Of course, you can't just think "awareness" -- you gotta practice, and just pick it up where it lay. Noticing your inattention is the best way. That is the simple, straightforward way to "enter" the present, again and again, until there is no more residue.
You can maybe watch yourself through some deeply habituated tasks. Maybe like when you brush your teeth or if you always hold your phone with your right hand, or if you get out of bed the same way every day. Make an effort to be extra attentive while doing these things, burn up entirely in the action itself, really just become the sounds / sights / feelings / thoughts .. realizing that being the moment is in itself the cure to wanting to escape the moment. Comes with practice. Simple things you do, take a mental step back and watch, listen, feel.
Another good tactic that can work more quickly in the case of interpersonal relationships is to think about the equality of yourself and the person with whom there is tension. If you were in their exact circumstances, with their exact history and knowledge, the actions would be the same. So right there is your seed for compassion. Trade places for a minute and consider how you might react.
There is a really wonderful book by the Dalai Lama called Stages of Meditation. I highly recommend it. It is one of those life changers.
Best luck, friend!
I think @sova has provided good advice. Practice.
Some forms of practice can increase sensitivity and empathy. I will offer you my mirror shield practice:
If visualising a psychic shield, an ordinary person would mirror back the negativity. However we Lobsterian Jedi [Buddha Brigade] prefer a translucent mirror; let the good through. The negative is reflected back 'distorted' by our shimmering shield - back to the person into positivity.
A win-win shield.
http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/tonglen1.php
May the Force Be With You
:rolleyes:
I want a Lobsterian Jedi shirt... or maybe I can just get a happy saber and beat the happiness into people
Really like that Lobsterian Jedi psy shield. Thank you for that.
Your reactions are your teacher. Examine and do not react. Learn to respond.
It really helps to holder a higher point of view. Such as people are suffering because of conditions. Environment, society, culture, habitual patterns. Notice all of this and don't take it personal. Its not about you, its samsaric vision.
Let it really touch your heart in a deep way. Make yourself sad and then you'll respond with kindness. The image we have usually is how could these people act the way they do? Don't they see that they are causing suffering for themselves and others?
They don't. And dealing with sentient beings is tough because now you see them. You have a bit of peace and your practice is good but now you see other people. And you see them better and more clearer than they see themselves. Their suffering is overwhelming and it can overwhelm you if you don't see the groundlessness of the situation (you and person and situation). But if you can work with giving space and managing your reactions (learning to respond) then you can open your heart and join the ranks of the bodhisattvas.
It really is sad. And we may want our peace. But at a certain point of our path peace isn't enough. We need to move past our liberation and focus completely on other people. And this isn't forced, it just is a natural progression of how the heart aperture opens and only desires to benefit others. And this means we have to say yes and no to people unconditionally.
And it sucks. Its torment, painful. A 24/hour job.
But that is the only progression after a certain point in our practice. To live in this world with everything wide open. To be in a burning house with a grin.
Good luck.
Jabba The Hut