Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Does anyone here sponsor a child (via a charity of some sort)?
karasti
BreathingMinnesota Moderator
My kids have asked if we can do a child sponsorship of a child in need somewhere in the world. I have done some research, but there are so many organizations that I'm not sure how to go about choosing. I know I do not want one of the Christian organizations (or other religious-affiliated ones) that spread literature and have kids learning about Jesus even if their normal faith is something else. I don't like that brand of proselytizing.
Aside from that, I would like to find an organization that spends as little money as possible on salaries and overhead, where most of it goes to help the child/family/community. Does anyone do this and have suggestions? I know you can sponsor Tibetan refugee children and all sorts of other types of kids. Where does not matter. Religion does not matter. We would just like whatever money to be used efficiently and for children and families who are in need. My kids, I think, would like to be able to interact, send letters and photos back and forth.
Aside from that, I would like to find an organization that spends as little money as possible on salaries and overhead, where most of it goes to help the child/family/community. Does anyone do this and have suggestions? I know you can sponsor Tibetan refugee children and all sorts of other types of kids. Where does not matter. Religion does not matter. We would just like whatever money to be used efficiently and for children and families who are in need. My kids, I think, would like to be able to interact, send letters and photos back and forth.
2
Comments
http://www.tibetfund.org/sponsorships/s_a_main.html
(they are a legit foundation: http://www.tibetfund.org/donate.html )
I don't know of any other sites, but when I saw that site last night I just cried and prayed that I could get my act together. It really has inspired me to work on myself more so I'm more stable and can make money so I can sponsor some of these children (and adults/programs). I've never wanted to be rich more than I did last night. Not only that, but I should say I never wanted to work so hard in my life in order to help someone else out. I think that's more of the sentiment. Not having easy money, per se, but being able to work for a meaningful cause and donate part of a paycheck to someone else in need.
I'm looking forward to one day taking my family to visit her! I correspond regularly with her family (she is only 3).
I always find it amazing the things that can be done with what we consider to be so little money. One site broke it down that the monthly donation goes to $9 food $8 education $9 housing $3 medical and $1 miscellaneous. That's just amazing to me. I can't even feed my teenager for $9 for one meal much of the time. I realize of course that they are not eating, or staying in places near like what most of us do. But I find it an interesting thing to contemplate, how so little makes such a huge difference in their lives where we can easily spend it on a meal out, a new book, a daily coffee and so on.
Most of the places seem to give you a choice of country. I have no idea how you'd decide that? Did you choose Sri Lanka for specific reasons, @Bunks? Or were you just assigned it? One of the sites you can sponsor kids in Bhutan and Myanmar, where they said 10 children per hour die
I have always wanted to sponsor a child somewhere in Africa or Asia...
However every time I got to the point of actually doing so, some sort of financial crisis would arise and I would think to myself, "good thing I didn't commit to that $$ every month..." Now that my own kids are grown and we are only supporting ourselves now, I think we can manage a monthly donation without any problems.
The other thing that had stopped me before was no matter what organization I looked into, I was always displeased with one or more aspect of their program; whether too religious, (I abhor religious indoctrination under the guise of "charity" programs) or else the organization was in some way linked to scandals or scams or bad reviews by charity review boards. This is why I never went with World Vision, nor any specifically "christian" ministries or organizations.
But that Tibet link @Sillyputty posted looks really, really interesting. I think I may have found what I've been looking for! :-) Thanks!
I wouldn't do it any more.
While I feel sorry for the children and it hurts to see them in such poor health and living conditions, I think that sending money is taking the responsibility off the governments of those countries. Doing that, we could also help children, the homeless and the elderly in the US.
I'll probably lose merit and karma for revealing this, but I contribute monthly to St. Jude Childrens' Hospital and the ASPCA. SJCH does not charge the families of children with cancer a dime for treatment. Of course, there is a selection process for treatment. As for the ASPCA, animals have no one to rely on except us humans who are the ones who mistreat, neglect, abandon and abuse them.
I really believe it is up to the governments of foreign countries to step up to the plate and not rely on charity.
I still feel bad for a kid who doesn't get their 3 meals a day, but considering that millions of young kids die every year simply from not having really cheap and basic medication and are lucky to get in 2 weeks what we consider a meal, I'd like to give the chance for a kid to stay alive.
Also, with how much money the US has, with how much money the Catholic church and other organizations have, we could EASILY solve the problems of poverty with children in our country. Easily. The state of ND alone took in so much money from the oil boom they could solve world starvation for a year. But too many people are "every man for himself" and right now, that represents almost 50% of the people in the US. Even when they want to help, they want to help those like them, those that share their values. They want to insist people have babies they don't want and can't afford, and do nothing to support those babies once they are born. My $30 a month goes vastly farther in Myanmar or Tibet or India or Sudan than it does here. It can make a bigger difference. I don't think withholding money from these kids overseas is going to force their civil war stricken, dictator-run countries to suddenly start caring for them. Someone has to. If I can help 1 kid stay alive and maybe get through school, then to me that makes more of a difference than giving a $100 pair of shoes to a kid off the community giving tree at Xmas time. Not knocking giving trees, or anything else. They all have their place. But for me, comparing the 2, is really no comparison at all. We usually do a giving tree gift during the holidays. But kids in American not getting Xmas presents is a far cry from kids in Sudan dying. Kids in America live in poverty, no doubt. But a poverty line of $23,000 in the US is a lifetime of money for a whole family in another country. What we consider poverty and what they experience isn't even comparable.
Thankfully, all of us have different causes that are important to us, so that everyone can get some help. St Jude is a terrific organization. So is ASPCA. Hopefully, we all do what we can, when we can. But, quite honestly, I find it to be a bit sad to say "let their people help them, and let's help our people."
The one thing I really like about the Tibet link is that 100% of the donated money goes to the kid, and you can donate extra for any admin costs. There was another one I found that gets the best reviews on the charity sites and 92% of the money goes to kid. I haven't decided yet which to go with. We might consider doing a normal sponsorship or a younger child and then sponsoring one of the older Tibet kids to finish school. It's hard to choose
The second time i did it, we discovered the father was 'pissing' the grant I was paying for his 2 kids to attend school, up the wall, by spending it on gambling and getting drunk, and beating his wife.
They were a Tibetan refugee family now living in India....
But today I read a story that the cops in a town near us gave out a reward they usually reserve for their fellow cops, to a woman who, while 6 months pregnant, risked her life to save a teenager who crashed her car into a fast moving river.
If today were a depressing day 'all round', we would all be feeling depressed.
The truth of the matter is that events have conspired to occur (on one day) to leave you feeling depressed.
If there is 'depression' you are the one nurturing it.
I do not say all this to be unsympathetic, cold, harsh or cruel.
I say all this to merely point out that if we're not careful, we permit our emotions to create a false reality.
This will not be repeated tomorrow.
Unless you play events over in your mind, and let the depression keep you stuck in 'yesterday'.
Besides, I've just talked with a friend and they gave me some advice on how to fend off that sort of negative energy. Negative energy/thinking just draws in those proverbial psychic vampires. Anger, impatience, depression, the need to win every argument-- all things I know I should be working on, I keep allowing myself to give into. But today is a new day. No more of that. Think positive. There is no "good" or no "bad"-- it's all the same exact thing. No need to differentiate. Yep yep. Focus on the good, be mindful, and keep doing my best.
Our general area has a food bank, a big one with 4-5 trucks, big cube trucks, that they use to distribute food. A TV station has adopted them, and the TV station does public relations spots promoting this and the food bank in same piece/ad, and processes money donations sent to it for them 100% to food bank. The TV station says that every dollar sent can buy 5x the food of individuals donating food. Harry Chapin Food Bank in Fort Myers now has large money donations coming in, and literally buys food wholesale, near to best buy date food, and distributes any overage to smaller food banks. The publicity ball started this way, but now the station has publicized what is needed when, and promised that money donations toward the need publicized will be passed on as for that need. In the past ten years, Harry Chapin Food Bank has had to move twice, each time to bigger quarters/bigger warehouse by factor of 2 each time.
Something like that is wise giving. I have given towards that effort myself.
Then... one day... he was awake. And it was if he was waiting for me to come. So I hesitantly left everything besides him only to hear him shout at me, "I DON'T WANT IT. DON'T LEAVE THAT HERE." So, I silently obliged, picked everything up, and kept walking towards my office building.
It was that moment I felt like, "You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't." Was I helping him just to make myself feel better? Obviously, he didn't want the food or my help for that matter. Or maybe he did and he was too proud to accept it. Maybe he just wanted cash and already had food stamps. I have no clue. But that day I felt as if I may have caused more harm than not by doing something I thought was "helpful" for someone I *thought* needed my help/needed something to eat. If anything, I think I made him feel worse.
So I guess I'm trying to say is, this thread reminds me once again that I really need to think through my "charity" work before I even start something. It's sad and frustrating to think that you honestly want to help alleviate another individual's pain and suffering, but are doing it wrong... or are doing it out of your own need to feel good, which usually messes things up even more so. Maybe I should just have asked the guy if he was hungry and not assumed it? Maybe with donating money to sponsor a child I should research more carefully and not be drawn into the pictures and text that makes me cry? Maybe that money would not help the child as people pointed out, but rather go to a parent that uses the money to feed their addictions and the child will still be left neglected and suffering.
So now I'm just at a point in life where I feel like, if someone comes to me and ASKS for help, it's probably the right time to research carefully, without personal judgement, and consider it. Otherwise? It just seems like a careless thing to *purposely search* for people in need to help. It usually just seems to only end in disaster anymore. I dunno. Maybe I'm just feeling jaded and bitter. But I'd just hate to think I'd sponsor a child now, and that money wouldn't go towards that cause. Then I'd be thinking, "I could have spent that money on something I researched a lot more carefully and it could have actually helped someone and not be thrown away on enabling some form of suffering." The trick is, how do we ever know if it's going to the right thing or not?...
Because the kids actually live there - in the compound/orphanage/school or whatever, the money is being handled and spent by the monks/nuns themselves, not given to parents or 'guardians' on the outside. Well that's my take on it anyway - and why that will probably be the way I choose to give, myself. :-)
I'm really not interested in sponsoring one specific child the way they do it in World Vision, etc.... Why? Well, if you look at any 3, 6, or 10 specific children they have up for sponsorship - you will notice they ALL have the same "background story" with very minor changes (name and location). How can you not think that's suspicious, right?
Anyway, to sponsor one specific child, seems to me (and I'm only speaking for myself, no judgement on others!) not to be the best way to "give without expectations" ; because one is giving and expecting something in return- cards, letters, pictures, gratitude, etc from the child (and their families) one is sponsoring...
I'd rather just give to the school or orphanage and know that it goes to help ALL the kids for their care and education.
The Big Picture is more important to me... but like I said, that's just me.
Anyway, you are right. That is all very good and insightful, thanks, @MaryAnne. Now I'm just going to sit here and wait until someone says, "I heard the people at the schools take the money and use it towards coke and hookers!"
Anyway, to sponsor one specific child, seems to me (and I'm only speaking for myself, no judgement on others!) not to be the best way to "give without expectations" ; because one is giving and expecting something in return- cards, letters, pictures, gratitude, etc from the child (and their families) one is sponsoring...
@Sillyputty replied:
I didn't know they would do that! That's awesome! I do remember in the 80's seeing those commercials for the Christian charities where you'd get a picture and letters from the families every month or something, but I didn't think this one worked like that.
I think maybe you misunderstood...?
I don't think the Tibetan charities do this.
I was referring to World Vision and similar donation organizations where they do allow donors to choose one specific child to sponsor (instead of general donations) and in return there is communication between donor and kid on some sort of regular basis.
Now maybe one or more of the Tibetan charities DO do this and I just didn't see it while I was poking around on their website? Possibly. But the Tibetan charity link you posted wasn't what I was referring to in that other post.
"Sorry to sound so pessimistic, but I'm just waiting to hear the other shoe drop now that I've heard a very reasonable solution. But I'm pretty sure there could always be an argument for that somewhere along the way... but not as often as the other scenario where it's just donated towards one child. "
LOL Well darlin' - as we all know, Nothing and No One is Perfect! Take a deep breath, re-examine your own intent and then ..... go with your gut! ;-)
@SillyPutty I thought about that too, about the "do you give a homeless guy money or not" when I was thinking about my neighbor kid. Sometimes, I stick a little spending money in an envelop and leave it for him when I know his mom isn't home, hoping he gets it and she doesn't. Who knows what he spends it on, lol, but if he gets a slice of pizza and a pop at the bar down the street it's better than cold hotdogs every day. I wish his mother were more willing to allow people to help.
I really like the Tibetan sponsorship the best. I did find one I like that is based out of AU and I need to email them and see if they can accept sponsorship from someone in the US.
@Straight_Man We donate time, food and monies to our local food shelf. But they are just an independent place. We don't have the population to work with the larger food banks that act as distributors (I don't think locally we really need it, the local food pantry does pretty well at serving the needs of the community). We really are very rural, lol. We're 250 miles from the nearest major city. Heck we are an hour and a half from the nearest walmart. We do what we can locally for sure, we help with school supply drives and winter coat drivers and those types of things as well. But like I said our population isn't big enough for a lot of the more major things to work well. Like I said a few posts ago, we do help locally quite a lot, with everything we possibly can. But as a family we wanted to expand that to be more international, as well. I understand the logic of "help your own" but I think that is rather short-sighted as well. I did look into whether it would be possible to do some type of sponsorship of American Indian children but everything I found seemed to be very entrenched in the Christian sector and that makes me really uncomfortable because most of them were forceably converted.
One thing to bear in mind with World Vision (and I assume other charity organisations) is that the money doesn't go directly to that child. It is given to the community so that they can buy the basics and become self sufficient. You are just assigned that child from within that community.
I used to give, then hit a bit of a financial bump.
They seemed secular, I didn't look too hard for that - but they did seem pretty transparent in how much money goes to the children and you do get one-to-one contact, the kid writes letters and draws pictures ...