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Learning kids about Buddhism...
Namada
Veteran
Hi Folks
I`am just wondering how you are learning kids/your children about Buddhism?
I think the most important is to be a good role model in everyday life, and show a good personality
towards them and other people, and not push them to much. But gradually learn them new and important things
when they are ready for it.
But what is also challenging for parents and kids, are what we have to confront everyday, they are propped with violent games and they also get easily addicted to tv games if you don`t pay attention all the time. This threat you will find everywhere, if not in your home, they have a friend/cousin with playstation3/wee/PC. They can stay there and play, hour after hour, and you have to jump in and stop them. Maybe it was more easy before when kids where outside running around and using their imagination, playing with stones and sticks..
I`am just wondering how you are learning kids/your children about Buddhism?
I think the most important is to be a good role model in everyday life, and show a good personality
towards them and other people, and not push them to much. But gradually learn them new and important things
when they are ready for it.
But what is also challenging for parents and kids, are what we have to confront everyday, they are propped with violent games and they also get easily addicted to tv games if you don`t pay attention all the time. This threat you will find everywhere, if not in your home, they have a friend/cousin with playstation3/wee/PC. They can stay there and play, hour after hour, and you have to jump in and stop them. Maybe it was more easy before when kids where outside running around and using their imagination, playing with stones and sticks..
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Comments
As far as games and tv, my kids have always had "tech time" limits. It includes tv (except family movie nights) tablets, video games and computer/internet. They get 1 hour on school days, 2 hours on weekends/summer. Homework doesn't count as part of their time though, lol. It works pretty well. They once in a while complain other kids don't have limits, but they really just accept it as part of life in our house, just like quiet time. There are some exceptions to the tech time if we are having a really horrible weather day where getting out isn't possible, but they never spend hours and hours doing any of that stuff. If they complain they are bored, they get chores to do, so they don't complain often, lol. They are sent outside to play every day, year round, unless the weather is dangerous.
very good limits Karasti, i will also introduce these "tech limits" to my son. He had limits before, but not like "1 hour and that's it"
Quiet time, is it like, don`t speak or make one sound in 30 minutes?
I'm sorry, I have to say it.
You TEACH.
They LEARN.
Living life as wisely and to the best of your conscious, volitional ability is the best way to teach anyone about anything.
Buddhism - unlike the majority of other religions - does not rely on some unseen benefactor(s) to wield a stick of judgement, to decide whether a follower has been 'bad' or 'good'. (Both of which are subjective anyway....)
Buddhism, to put it extremely simply, is a set of wholesome guidelines and recommendations for how you can choose to live, and by making certain wise and loving choices, live well and happily.
These wholesome guidelines and recommendations can be applied to all, every and any circumstance - even those involving choices hinging on other religiously-based factors.
Buddhism is like clean, sparkling, unsullied mountain spring-water: It adapts itself to whichever environment it finds itself in, without losing any of its clarity or purity.
My parents didn't want my brother and me to be playing video games all the time, so he STRICTLY enforced the rules he set. We would get a set amount of time per week to play video games (they were maybe a couple hours or more). He would tell us, if we want more, we can play tennis with him, or play some kind of sports, or do chores and instead of getting money for it, we'd substitute it for some video game time. And if we played him in sports, we can bet him game time, and if we won, we'd get double the amount that we bet, and if we lost, we'd lose the time. And it made us very active, and it was pretty rewarding in a way lol. And he was very strict with the time he gave us, if we went over the time, or he came home one day and we were on it, he'd take the video games away and hide them for a week or so.
I think you need to MAKE your kids active. Get them into sports and make sure you MAKE it fun for them. When we were young, we played soccer AND baseball, and our dad was either coach or assistant coach, and him being around us and giving us guidance, was what made it even better. I think you need to step in and make sure your kids know it's not okay to be on the video games all the time, and take control of them.
teaching would be the correct word.
You TEACH.
They LEARN.
Anyway teachers also learn from kids how to be a better teacher, so its dualistic for
both parts.
/Victor
Firstly, I'm perfectly aware that many people on here do not have English as a first language. More than most, I would say.
Secondly, nobody responding, prior to my post, had pointed out the grammatical error.
Hence the 'apology'.
Thirdly, where, in my comment, was any criticism insinuated or hinted at?
I corrected the error, with no reproach or insult. It was never intended to criticise, it was intended merely to inform. (It's 'Federica'....:) )
Fourthly, it doesn't matter who's learning: kid from teacher, or vice-versa.
There are those who teach, and there are those who learn.
People may be interchangeable. The terms are not...
Lastly, such errors are not confined to 'Southern US'.
Many of my fellow pupils at school in the UK, would ask me, for example, if they 'could lend my pencil' (meaning, 'borrow'....)
I would respond: "To whom are you going to lend it, exactly?"
(And @Victorious, it's "Ain't"....
Hope that clarifies matters....
Back to topic, thanks!
Back on topic...
I have thought in the past about how I might encourage my kids to be 'Buddhist'. They know that Buddhism exists and that it is something I'm interested in but not really any more than that. Bearing in mind that I only discovered Buddhism last year aged 31, I don't think it is important for children to associate with it. Once I discovered Buddhism I realised that it was the philosophy I had been living my whole life by without even knowing it. Teach children the good values you might associate with Buddhism and let them develop themselves. The right time will either present itself or they will discover the path naturally as I did. This may not be the way in traditional Buddhist parts of the world where children are brought up Buddhist, but in the Western world we have different views of religion and to be Buddhist is somewhat going against the grain. Teach the virtuous characteristics and not the religion.
I'm famous for it.
Further comments should be confined to PMs.
As I suggested, indeed: back to topic.
Enough already. I submit and await enlightement on learning kids...or teaching kids...
Now I really do not know what I mean with that anymore. Bugger.
Anyway I have two of my own and I am the only Buddhist in the household or village for that matter. And what to teach them has been a serious issue for me.
I have decided that I will teach them naturally. That is I will continue my practise and when they ask or want to participate I will answer and let them.
No pushing but no leaning away either.
The hardest part for me is that I live in an environment that is pretty far from Sri Lanka. In nothern Sweden an entirely other skillset is needed. For Skateing and Skiing I am currently relying on family and friends to teach my kids. (because of my problematic knees).
And I am wondering what to do about fishing and hunting. I hope I can escape that but I am not sure...sigh.
But it also feels like cheeting my kids not to support such interests if they begin to want to do it because hunting and fishing is sometimes still a way of bringing food to the table here.
/Victor
The key is no matter what you believe, you have to allow the possibility that your kids will believe different, either of their own volition or because of involvement of other people they know in such activities. Most young kids tend to trend more towards "don't hurt animals, don't eat them!" naturally, so you can encourage that mindset if you wish. I try to keep a balance, just because even if they opt not to hunt/fish, we have many, many family members that do (for food, not for trophy) and I don't want them to grow up feeling bad about their relatives.
I was raised in a family that hunted, fishes and trapped. But I was still taught a great respect for life and small rituals/prayers that can be done/said in the event of taking a life to sustain my own. I was never forced to hunt or fish if I didn't want to. I mostly do the same with my kids. That all beings deserve to live. They help catch bugs in the house and release them. They try to prevent problems rather than kill the animals (mosquitoes for example) but that in the event we take a life, we take that seriously and we appreciate what it means. Including for the meals on our tables, whether we caught/hunted them ourselves, or not.
Remember Buddhism is about Middle Way, too, not strict adherence for the sake of adhering. If your kids show a strong interest in hunting, then perhaps you will have to ask family to help with that as well if you do not wish to do so because of your beliefs. But just as with parents of any religion there is a chance your kids will not grow up with your religious belief set. And that is ok. They aren't rejecting you or the way you find right. They are only finding their own way, like we all do. You will help them a lot in life by respecting that and not causing them conflict by requiring them to be like you.
How old are your kids? And where is MN? Minnesota? Finnish are tough no nonsense kind of people. I like them much. One of my best friends here is Finnish. And a Buddhist but he does not know it yet.
/Victor
My kids are 16, 11 and (almost) 5. They keep me on my toes, for sure. I asked a Lama who visited last spring and ways to encourage my 5 year old, who asks a lot of questions on Buddhist topics, and his response was "You should open a Buddhist preschool." I love the idea but we live in a really small town and I'm not so sure how a non-Christian religious preschool would go over. Not to mention I'm not an educator. But he recommended some books, too, which was nice. The one we read from a lot is "Kindness: A treasury of Buddhist wisdom for children and parents" by Sarah Conover. It has some wonderful artwork as well. The teenager reads on his own and meditates, he's actually the one that really got me started on Buddhism.
Finnish people and Swedes are very diffrent in mentality. Its hard o explain. Finnish people are often very though on the outside and very emotional on the inside while swedes are more mellow all around. Finnish people often complain that swedes talk too much and swedes think finnish people are too fond of their knifes (both are actually right lol). A resent scientific study described the finnish people along with the hungarieans as those that are most diffrent in genetic composition to other peoples.
/Victor
PS
Mine are just 6 and 4. The eldest just started preeschool.
DS
4&6, such fun ages! My youngest will be 5 in a couple weeks. I love the age he is at. He's very receptive and interesting in everything. My 11 year old will go around and tell people he is Buddhist because he likes the different label, but he doesn't really understand that much about what it means, so we're working on that.
The Lama who had visited who mentioned the preschool was a student of Chogyam Trungpa who (as I understand) was a big advocate for starting communities including schools. He opened what is the only American Buddhist college in the US. So I can understand why he mentioned it, but I'm not sure it's as do-able here as believed. You can't just sign up to teach kids, you need credentials and certified teachers and approved facilities. I think it would be fabulous. But it also requires a lot of money!
Have you tried to have your little ones meditate yet? It's interesting with young ones because they tend to giggle about it a lot. But mine at least sits for maybe 5 minutes and he seems to get the point of quieting the our monkey minds, at least to some degree. You could try starting, have them pick a pillow to sit on and then just do it for like 2 minutes, do a guided meditation with them.
Starting a buddhist school is not an easy matter here either. I know many muslims schools now are run here so it should be possible. The government here will fund "free schools" per pupil so funding should not be a problem. Still you require certified teachers and adherence to the national studyplan.
But I guess it could be done...that would really be something though.
I firmly believe that Buddhism will be the path of choice for Europe in times to come. It is the only option that is compatible with science.
/Victor
PS
Are you familiar with the finnish word "sisu"?
DS