I have found the truth

betaboy

Okay, not really. But because I've been suffering for the past few weeks (my threads involving obsession over women etc. will help you understand why I've been suffering), I have suddenly stumbled upon something - it may be an old truth to some, cliche to others, but to me it makes perfect sense. There are no problems - all problems are created by the ego demanding this or that. I am not talking here of physical problems like disease or disorders like BPD etc. I am only talking about problems an egoistic guy (like me) might have.

When I look closely I see it's only the ego that's creating all these issues - being happy when praised, being unhappy when insulted, being ecstatic when the girl likes you, being disappointed when she ignores you, and so on. Almost as if our mental states are remote-controlled by people and situations. And the ego's dualistic ways are responsible for giving people/situations this remote control. Without ego, no dualism such as "I want praise, not blame, I want to be noticed, not ignored" etc. Without ego, both praise and blame are one. So no fear or sorrow.

This is what I have learned. Not saying my sorrows have disappeared as if by magic. But at least the insight helps me cope. Let me know what you think.

Thanks so much.

lobster

:clap:
Sounds good to me. Sounds an important realisation. Externals, guys, gals and situations are always up, down and sideways . . . but changing our approach to circumstances is possible and hopeful. Bravo!
:wave:

ysmael

the only thing thats constant in this world is....change! keep it up :rockon:

Jeffrey

It is what it is.

Woah93

betaboy, I was having the exact same issue as you. And I came to the same conclusions. Not only was this "obsession" a blessing in disguise in that it can teach you ALOT about your ego it has made me realize that I can love, be happy, give and not be affected by the outcome at the end of it, we are all good One love.

Tosh

The three poisons; attachment (greed), aversion (hate) and delusion (not understanding reality) are traditionally the three reasons for suffering.

I see it very clearly in Mrs Tosh (but not in myself for some reason). She arrives home and we've made a mess and she suffers with aversion, she wants everything to be the way she wants it (attachment) and her delusion makes her think that she can bully us into complying with her demands.

Obviously, being all spiritual, I'm above all that kind of malarky, so I just go off and huff somewhere and consider her faults.

footiam

betaboy said:

Okay, not really. But because I've been suffering for the past few weeks (my threads involving obsession over women etc. will help you understand why I've been suffering), I have suddenly stumbled upon something - it may be an old truth to some, cliche to others, but to me it makes perfect sense. There are no problems - all problems are created by the ego demanding this or that. I am not talking here of physical problems like disease or disorders like BPD etc. I am only talking about problems an egoistic guy (like me) might have.

When I look closely I see it's only the ego that's creating all these issues - being happy when praised, being unhappy when insulted, being ecstatic when the girl likes you, being disappointed when she ignores you, and so on. Almost as if our mental states are remote-controlled by people and situations. And the ego's dualistic ways are responsible for giving people/situations this remote control. Without ego, no dualism such as "I want praise, not blame, I want to be noticed, not ignored" etc. Without ego, both praise and blame are one. So no fear or sorrow.

This is what I have learned. Not saying my sorrows have disappeared as if by magic. But at least the insight helps me cope. Let me know what you think.

Thanks so much.

I think you want things from other people. You can't help it if people choose not to give. Why not you give people the things they want for a change? That way, you'll find you are in charge.