What Is The Buddhist Anti-dote for Jealousy

AllbuddhaBound

What practice would help with dealing with jealousy?

cptshrk

Cessation of attachment to the object you envy.

betaboy

I really would like to know about this too. I suffer from intense jealousy myself and sometimes I feel so helpless. But every time I ask, "Who is jealous?" there is some relief. I realize it is the ego playing games. Of course, not a permanent solution but at least one knows where the ego can hide.

Jason

AllbuddhaBound said:

What practice would help with dealing with jealousy?

Traditionally, the cultivation of mudita or sympathetic joy is said to help with jealousy.

pegembara

'He insulted me, hit me, beat me, robbed me' -- for those who brood on this, hostility isn't stilled. 'He insulted me, hit me, beat me, robbed me' -- for those who don't brood on this, hostility is stilled. Hostilities aren't stilled through hostility, regardless. Hostilities are stilled through non-hostility: this, an unending truth. Unlike those who don't realize that we're here on the verge of perishing, those who do: their quarrels are stilled.

Dhammapada

upekka

jealousy/envy (issa) comes from derogation (makko)

just think about what good things he/she has done for you or for others
surely you can find at least one good thing s/he has done
then
jealousy would vanish

lobster

Yidam practice
Start with something semi wrathful such as Guru Rinpoche, during the generation phase visualise jealousy leaving, replaced by loving kindness.
Or go visit a pureland

Chaz

lobster said:

Yidam practice
Start with something semi wrathful such as Guru Rinpoche, during the generation phase visualise jealousy leaving, replaced by loving kindness.
Or go visit a pureland

Recommending Yidam or wrathful diety practice to someone, who probably doesn't have permission, training, guidance or the requisite practices to undertake such practice really isn't a very good idea.

@OP: Unless you have permission, instruction and guidance from a qualified teacher, don't mess around with Yidam practice.

Probably the best thing you can do is just plain, old, meditation practice. Whatever you know how to do will be fine. If you know Tonglen, do that. If not, Shamatha, Meta, Vipassyana ........

ysmael

trust and confidence to oneself :thumbsup:

lobster

The Buddha taught openly. Here are some further practices. You will find these practices are available on any browser.
http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/prayers-and-sadhanas/sadhana-prayers.html

Once again I would recommend a semi wrathful practice, such as Guru Rinpoche, which is suitable for novices, intermediary and advanced practitioners.
http://www.quietmountain.org/links/teachings/7_Line_Prayer_To_Guru_Rinpoche/7lnpryr.htm

Just so you appreciate: Beginner practices such as Guru Rinpoche can be done by everyone. The more powerful practices have quicker results, if you like the karma ripens much faster and this is why guidance and protection of a teacher is recommended.

Let us know what works for you :wave:

Chaz

lobster said:

The Buddha taught openly.

True, but irrelevant.

Here are some further practices. You will find these practices are available on any browser.
http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/prayers-and-sadhanas/sadhana-prayers.html

And there's even a Vajrayogini "prayer" in there, but that isn't, strictly speaking a "Yidam Practice". That is something quite different and requires initiation and prerequisite practice. As such, "Yidam Practice" is not siomething you or I shoulc be recommended.

Once again I would recommend a semi wrathful practice, such as Guru Rinpoche, which is suitable for novices, intermediary and advanced practitioners.
http://www.quietmountain.org/links/teachings/7_Line_Prayer_To_Guru_Rinpoche/7lnpryr.htm

Not a bad practice, but this is a supplication for practice support. I'm not sure it will directly address something like jealousy. That said, it's good practice for anyone with a connection to Tibetan Buddhism, especially Nyingma.

Just so you appreciate: Beginner practices such as Guru Rinpoche can be done by everyone. The more powerful practices have quicker results, if you like the karma ripens much faster and this is why guidance and protection of a teacher is recommended.

The "more powerful" practices also have karmic pitfalls if done incorrectly. That's why proper instruction and guidance is so important - something niether you or I can give.

Vastmind

The practice of looking deeply.

What are you jealous of?
Who are you jealous of?
Why?

David

non-seperation

Kundo

Namaste,

I would second Tonglen. I remember reading about when a very rich man asked the Buddha how he could be less stingy and more giving and compassionate and the Buddha taught him to use Tonglen. He got him to start giving a coin from one hand to another and then progressed with the man imagining his hand was a loved on, from there someone he had neither good or bad feelings for and then finally people he did not like. The teaching ends with the man becoming renowned for his compassion and generosity.

And I can't remember what teaching it is called - sorry

In metta,
Raven

Simonthepilgrim

The single most effective - if hardest - antidote is the realisation (i.e. making real at a 'gut' level) of our own non-self. Once that is done, there is no longer anyone to be jealous.

Mind you, the advice on compassion reminds me of what Eusebius says about Saint John's last sermons. Carried on a litter into meetings, the centenarian evangelist would only say: "My little children, love one another. When that is done, all is done."

shadowleaver

Jealosy is doubting someone's commitment while wanting that commitment.

Are there grounds for such doubting in your particular case?

What is the commitment worth to you?

If you are clear on those two answers, you won't need an "antidote".

EnriqueSpain

pegembara said:

'He insulted me, hit me, beat me, robbed me' -- for those who brood on this, hostility isn't stilled. 'He insulted me, hit me, beat me, robbed me' -- for those who don't brood on this, hostility is stilled. Hostilities aren't stilled through hostility, regardless. Hostilities are stilled through non-hostility: this, an unending truth. Unlike those who don't realize that we're here on the verge of perishing, those who do: their quarrels are stilled.

Dhammapada



Wonderful advice first, from Dhammapada! Also great quote later, inside cool frame!! so truthful!

Jeffrey

jealousy can be remedied by equinimity. You are ok losing. Just a feeling. Return to the outbreath.

vinlyn

I have never been able to fully control the feeling of emotion, but I have been able to fully control how I act about such feelings...and I do that through being mindful.

Invincible_summer

vinlyn said:

I have never been able to fully control the feeling of emotion, but I have been able to fully control how I act about such feelings...and I do that through being mindful.

I think this point that @vinlyn has brought up is pretty important. It's not always about stifling or ceasing certain feelings, but rather acknowledging that they exist and dealing with them appropriately, using the 8FP.

Chaz

Invincible_summer said:

vinlyn said:

I have never been able to fully control the feeling of emotion, but I have been able to fully control how I act about such feelings...and I do that through being mindful.

I think this point that @vinlyn has brought up is pretty important. It's not always about stifling or ceasing certain feelings, but rather acknowledging that they exist and dealing with them appropriately, using the 8FP.

Describe for me how you deal with jealousy using the 8FP.

You experience jealousy, recognizing it as such, you ....... take it from there!

betaboy

The problem is, most of time the feeling just comes over you like a mighty wave - you may not have the time or (proper balance) to be mindful. So maybe some sort of rationalization may work - that is, convincing ourselves that what will be, will be, it is god's will, etc. etc.

Invincible_summer

Chaz said:

Invincible_summer said:

vinlyn said:

I have never been able to fully control the feeling of emotion, but I have been able to fully control how I act about such feelings...and I do that through being mindful.

I think this point that @vinlyn has brought up is pretty important. It's not always about stifling or ceasing certain feelings, but rather acknowledging that they exist and dealing with them appropriately, using the 8FP.

Describe for me how you deal with jealousy using the 8FP.

You experience jealousy, recognizing it as such, you ....... take it from there!

This is a pretty shallow explanation, but basically:

Recognizing jealousy as jealousy and then understanding it as impermanent and a cause of suffering is part of Right View.

You could enact Right Intention and Right Effort by being determined not to give into any negative actions that may result from jealousy. Being aware of how you are acting due to jealousy arising is Right Mindfulness. Right Action, Speech, Livelihood are fairly straight-forward - don't do anything out of jealousy that you may regret.

Right Concentration is a bit tricky, but I suppose you could be sincere in your meditation practice to cultivate strength to face the hindrances.

Chaz

Invincible_summer said:

Chaz said:

Invincible_summer said:

vinlyn said:

I have never been able to fully control the feeling of emotion, but I have been able to fully control how I act about such feelings...and I do that through being mindful.

I think this point that @vinlyn has brought up is pretty important. It's not always about stifling or ceasing certain feelings, but rather acknowledging that they exist and dealing with them appropriately, using the 8FP.

Describe for me how you deal with jealousy using the 8FP.

You experience jealousy, recognizing it as such, you ....... take it from there!

This is a pretty shallow explanation, but basically:

Recognizing jealousy as jealousy and then understanding it as impermanent and a cause of suffering is part of Right View.

You could enact Right Intention and Right Effort by being determined not to give into any negative actions that may result from jealousy. Being aware of how you are acting due to jealousy arising is Right Mindfulness. Right Action, Speech, Livelihood are fairly straight-forward - don't do anything out of jealousy that you may regret.

Right Concentration is a bit tricky, but I suppose you could be sincere in your meditation practice to cultivate strength to face the hindrances.

Sounds good - probably the best explanation of applying the 8FP to a problem I've ever heard.

Wouldn't be simpler to simply acknowledge the jealous thoughts/feelings as they arise and then simply let them go as mindfulness teachers instruct?

footiam

AllbuddhaBound said:

What practice would help with dealing with jealousy?

Try not being jealous in the first place.

blu3ree

dhammachick said:

Namaste,

I would second Tonglen. I remember reading about when a very rich man asked the Buddha how he could be less stingy and more giving and compassionate and the Buddha taught him to use Tonglen. He got him to start giving a coin from one hand to another and then progressed with the man imagining his hand was a loved on, from there someone he had neither good or bad feelings for and then finally people he did not like. The teaching ends with the man becoming renowned for his compassion and generosity.

And I can't remember what teaching it is called - sorry

In metta,
Raven

sounds like the practice of humble compassion to me!

Invincible_summer

Chaz said:

Sounds good - probably the best explanation of applying the 8FP to a problem I've ever heard.

Wouldn't be simpler to simply acknowledge the jealous thoughts/feelings as they arise and then simply let them go as mindfulness teachers instruct?

Thanks, I try.

You could just "let them go," a la mindfulness meditation, but not everyone practices that style of meditation. Plus, "letting go" is a fairly abstract concept that doesn't have a clear path of execution, whereas I feel the 8FP is more concrete and applicable to all meditation practices.

wrathfuldeity

The antidote for jealousy....that's easy...its

to have the full measure of whatever you desire...for eternity.

Bawhahahah