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Death

misecmisc1misecmisc1 I am a HinduIndia Veteran
edited October 2013 in Buddhism Basics
hi all,

the below questions related to death came to my mind, so thought of asking you all.

how do you all literally approach or handle death, or the thing that we will die someday as it is unavoidable - means do you have fear for it, or do you totally accept it? is there something inside you which feels - at death, everything will be removed from us - what do you feel about this thing?

theoretically, i have read we are born and we die every moment - but practically i have not found anything, which i can see is getting born or dying every moment - i cannot see how my cells are working inside my body and i do not feel anything when the cells inside the body change - so practically how do you approach this statement that we are born and we die every moment.

also, this thing is said about 'die before you die' that when we 'die before we die', then after that we can actually live life. so how do you all approach this thing - 'die before you die' - means do you do some practice to understand this thing?

please suggest. thanks in advance.

Comments

  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran

    ...

    how do you all literally approach or handle death, or the thing that we will die someday as it is unavoidable - means do you have fear for it, or do you totally accept it? is there something inside you which feels - at death, everything will be removed from us - what do you feel about this thing?

    theoretically, i have read we are born and we die every moment - but practically i have not found anything, which i can see is getting born or dying every moment - i cannot see how my cells are working inside my body and i do not feel anything when the cells inside the body change - so practically how do you approach this statement that we are born and we die every moment.

    ...

    I'm not afraid of being dead. I am afraid of the suffering that may accompany the process.

    As far as what happens after death...who knows?



    Jeffrey
  • howhow Veteran Veteran
    Manifesting selflessness over selfishness is the practice and the answer.
    .
    misecmisc1Invincible_summer
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    'die before you die' is a Sufi saying, also seen it in a Buddhist context. In mystical Christianity it corresponds to be 'born again' of the spirit and is nothing to do with bathing . . .

    Death has a very special meaning in Sufism, where it equates with a graduated death of our lower selves and the birth of divine qualities.
    In some ways it is similar to the development of enlightened qualities practiced in some Buddhist systems . . .

    Death can be seen as the ultimate proof of the first Noble Truth. Existence always leads to death. Good situations die.
    However death also is one of the four signs that led the Buddha to seek enlightenment. It is during the death process or in fear, denial or nearness that we start to develop clarity and insight.

    We live with death. We can not run from it, intimidate or escape it. Death takes everything from us. Death is enlightenment.

    As @how says no self or 'selflessness is the practice and answer' :clap:
  • misecmisc1misecmisc1 I am a Hindu India Veteran
    @poptart: ^^^ liked the above story. thank you for sharing it.
  • misecmisc1misecmisc1 I am a Hindu India Veteran
    edited October 2013
    @poptart: ^^^ liked the above wave story. thank you for sharing it. so my question is do I, similar to wave, only after dying will know what I really am? sadly, the way my meditation is hopeless, seems like not in the coming 100 lifetimes is there any hope to know anything.

    may be this is why i like zen approach of being in here and now - and also because it says the knowing cannot be grasped - so in a way, i am getting a loop hole or an escape to justify myself that when finally it is also not known completely by me, so just relax and be with not knowing at present too. may be i am coward, who is just trying to find out reasoning to justify myself that even though i may not awaken, then also somehow it is ok to just be with theoretical knowledge, with no hands on experience from meditation, and with the theoretical knowledge the ego in me saying 'I' know something like anatta, sunyata etc, without me actually knowing these things - so in a way, it seems to me that i am a type of a complete hypocrite.
  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran

    so how do you all approach this thing - 'die before you die' - means do you do some practice to understand this thing?

    please suggest. thanks in advance.

    Reminds me of these Dhammapada verses. :)

    Verse 371: O Bhikkhu, mediate, and do not be unmindful; do not let your mind rejoice in sensual pleasures. Do not be unmindful and swallow the (hot) lump of iron; as you burn (in niraya) do not cry, "This, indeed, is suffering."

    Verse 372: There can be no Concentration in one who lacks wisdom; there can be no wisdom in one who lacks Concentration. He who has Concentration as well as wisdom is, indeed, close to Nibbana.

    Verse 373: The Bhikkhu, who goes into seclusion (to meditate), whose mind is tranquil, who clearly perceives the Dhamma, experiences the joy, which transcends that of (ordinary) men.

    Verse 374: Every time he clearly comprehends the arising and the perishing of the khandhas, he finds joy and rapture. That, to the wise, is the way to Nibbana (the Deathless).

    misecmisc1Invincible_summer
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    But keep meditating, and don't worry about being a "hypocrite". That's just your ego-mind trying to undermine your practice.
    Exactly so.

    In life we defend this hypocrite, inflated, convoluted, suffering avoiding, thrill seeking karma mish-mash [a technical term]. Really it is nothing, empty, its experiences are dead, future unknown. It is barely in the moment . . .

    With practice we start to expose the self. The self starts to die/dissolve. Frightened of death? Better not be born or go through endless cycles of suffering (real or imagined)

    Today is a good day to die
    Klingon saying.
    misecmisc1
  • DavidDavid A human residing in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Ancestral territory of the Erie, Haudenosaunee, Huron-Wendat, Mississauga and Neutral First Nations Veteran

    hi all,

    the below questions related to death came to my mind, so thought of asking you all.

    how do you all literally approach or handle death, or the thing that we will die someday as it is unavoidable - means do you have fear for it, or do you totally accept it?

    There doesn't seem to be a lot we can do about it aside from putting it off so I accept it as inevitable. I still do what I can to avoid it because I like it here and I'm curious but I would say I respect death instead of fearing it. Perhaps anxious would be a good word as well.
    is there something inside you which feels - at death, everything will be removed from us - what do you feel about this thing?
    I don't see anything that could be removed or added except self and even then complete removal or destruction is said to be myth. That which I used to think would be taken away at death is now what I'd guess I will absorb into.
    theoretically, i have read we are born and we die every moment - but practically i have not found anything, which i can see is getting born or dying every moment - i cannot see how my cells are working inside my body and i do not feel anything when the cells inside the body change - so practically how do you approach this statement that we are born and we die every moment.
    I see it as another kind of wordplay... Sort of. A runner slows down to a walk. Did it disappear or turn into a walker?

    Looking at it from the physical and even cellular levels, change is what we do. With every interaction comes information and reaction. Reaction signifies either growth or decay but death is just another change.
    also, this thing is said about 'die before you die' that when we 'die before we die', then after that we can actually live life. so how do you all approach this thing - 'die before you die' - means do you do some practice to understand this thing?
    For me it means to put no-self to practical use and practice selflessness... Let go of self before self lets go of you.

    Vastmindmfranzdorfmisecmisc1
  • DavidDavid A human residing in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Ancestral territory of the Erie, Haudenosaunee, Huron-Wendat, Mississauga and Neutral First Nations Veteran
    lobster said:

    But keep meditating, and don't worry about being a "hypocrite". That's just your ego-mind trying to undermine your practice.
    Exactly so.

    In life we defend this hypocrite, inflated, convoluted, suffering avoiding, thrill seeking karma mish-mash [a technical term]. Really it is nothing, empty, its experiences are dead, future unknown. It is barely in the moment . . .

    With practice we start to expose the self. The self starts to die/dissolve. Frightened of death? Better not be born or go through endless cycles of suffering (real or imagined)

    Today is a good day to die
    Klingon saying.

    Perhaps, but I had nothing better to do and the view can be spectacular. Don't take that to mean I cling to this life because I can appreciate it all the more knowing it's temporary.

  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    image
    Yishai
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    In metta
    You sound good to me. Have a great day.
    image
    Kundo
  • GuiGui Veteran
    I don't wish to be overly dramatic but I can't emphasize enough how sure I am of this. That death is not what we understand it to be. It's not real. It doesn't exist. It is nothing more than life outside the dimension of time. It is nothing more to be feared than the bogey man under your bed.
    seeker242EvenThirdcvalue
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    Gui said:

    I don't wish to be overly dramatic but I can't emphasize enough how sure I am of this. That death is not what we understand it to be. It's not real. It doesn't exist. It is nothing more than life outside the dimension of time. It is nothing more to be feared than the bogey man under your bed.

    Come back and tell us that after you've had your fatal heart attack or suffered from your terminal cancer.

  • GuiGui Veteran
    I am. I had a fatal heart attack and was resuscitated.
    poptartYishaicvaluepegembara
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    Seriously?
  • GuiGui Veteran
    BTW - didn''t want to make a big deal out of it - because it's not a big deal.
    nuff said
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    Wish you hadn't even mentioned it then.
    Invincible_summer
  • @poptart: ^^^ liked the above wave story. thank you for sharing it. so my question is do I, similar to wave, only after dying will know what I really am? sadly, the way my meditation is hopeless, seems like not in the coming 100 lifetimes is there any hope to know anything.

    may be this is why i like zen approach of being in here and now - and also because it says the knowing cannot be grasped - so in a way, i am getting a loop hole or an escape to justify myself that when finally it is also not known completely by me, so just relax and be with not knowing at present too. may be i am coward, who is just trying to find out reasoning to justify myself that even though i may not awaken, then also somehow it is ok to just be with theoretical knowledge, with no hands on experience from meditation, and with the theoretical knowledge the ego in me saying 'I' know something like anatta, sunyata etc, without me actually knowing these things - so in a way, it seems to me that i am a type of a complete hypocrite.

    Just say 'what the heck' and meditate. You will awaken.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    vinlyn said:

    Wish you hadn't even mentioned it then.

    Gui said:

    Wish you hadn't asked. :)

    Actually, we've all been there, haven't we....?
    Jeffrey
  • nice story
    lobster
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    federica said:

    vinlyn said:

    Wish you hadn't even mentioned it then.

    Gui said:

    Wish you hadn't asked. :)

    Actually, we've all been there, haven't we....?
    Not that I remember.

    Kundo
  • misecmisc1misecmisc1 I am a Hindu India Veteran
    my thinking says - until i find myself outside my body, i think till that time i cannot really assure myself that - i am not this body - something which happens in Near-Death-Experience(NDE) or may be what happens when in meditation, the body and mind both vanishes temporarily, when the breath becomes so subtle that it disappears.
  • howhow Veteran Veteran
    If we are an illusion. How much less is death.
    KundoEvenThirdpoptart
  • EvenThirdEvenThird NYC Veteran
    edited October 2013

    do you have fear for it, or do you totally accept it? is there something inside you which feels - at death, everything will be removed from us - what do you feel about this thing?

    When I was much younger, apparent immanent doom(being dead) was a thing of nightmares for me. No escape, no certainty.
    Then, when I was 11 or so, I had my first near death experience, in the ocean. Long story short, I was fine, but I had never experienced anything like that feeling in my young life. Total peace, calm, it was as if I was in a void, but there was no "I", just a suspension of everything I thought I knew (very difficult to describe, I'm not doing an adequate job)

    But point of the story is, after that, I no longer feared death. Because in "dying" there was no fear for me. That has been my direct experience. I'm sure it has much to do with the body's response to high stress situations, releasing feel-good chemicals and whatnot. Even though I see that as a viable explanation for everything experienced, it still doesn't rouse up a fear of death. Just because death implies the unknown doesn't make it scary for me.

    Like @vinlyn, I do fear the process of dying, associated pain and all that.
    misecmisc1cvaluepegembara
  • misecmisc1misecmisc1 I am a Hindu India Veteran
    @EvenThird: thanks for sharing your NDE experience. nice to have someone who actually had a NDE experience - i saw the video available on youtube - i think some bbc documentary on NDE, in that most of the participants told that their experience was 80% common of a tunnel and moving in it and then outside it the world with very bright colours and there they felt peace inside them and they actually liked it and did not want to come back on earth, but somehow they came back to earth and described their NDE experience.
  • misecmisc1misecmisc1 I am a Hindu India Veteran
    edited October 2013
    i read somewhere - dying is a process - there is no moment in which we die altogether at once, firstly breathing ceases, then the heart stops working, then oxygen flow through the body is stopped, then brain do not get oxygen to work, so brain starts to cease its activity gradually and then the complete brain stops and the brain-dead person is declared as a dead person. earlier it was heart-dead that decided death, but recently after observing that brain remains functioning for some time period after heart-dead, so the doctors have decided that brain-dead person is declared as dead person.

    the above thing is indicating death is not something which happens all together in a single moment - rather a series of activities in which different organs cease their working. so may be trying to live by 'being' more in here and now - shall help so that we may not fear much or feel more pain at the time of dying, provided we remember to be in here and now during the time of death.
    EvenThird
  • misecmisc1misecmisc1 I am a Hindu India Veteran
    how said:

    If we are an illusion. How much less is death.

    i think we are not an illusion, what we think we are that is an illusion.

    if someone hits me with a stick, i feel the pain of it - then when i will die, how much pain will i feel?
    vinlynKundolobster
  • howhow Veteran Veteran
    @misecmisc1
    My statement really asks.... what dies?
    It often points out what each person treasures most (or we are most attached to).
    Will what you treasure, end, when all your cells die?

    Pain is what everyone wants to avoid. Our survival has depended on our hard wired avoidance of it, just as we often have to be willing to place ourselves in painful situations in order to not become subject to worse pains. (going out into the snow to hunt before we become too hungry to do so...or whatever the modern equivalent of that is).

    Pain is electrical signals saying ...THIS NEEDS TO BE PAID ATTENTION TO!
    The best we can do in a practice is to simply do that.
    That means not adding suffering to the mix through an unwillingness to accept the message.
    Do you think that pain's message will be smaller or greater than your ending?
    And how do you prepare for that?
    lobstermisecmisc1pegembara
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    how said:


    And how do you prepare for that?

    lobster said:


    We live with death. We can not run from it, intimidate or escape it. Death takes everything from us. Death is enlightenment.

    or to put it another way . . . enlightenment is death.
    Death of me, mine, life, all that I know cherish and hold on to.

    Ready for death yet? No? Tsk, tsk - gonna live for ever are we? Good luck with that fantasy.
    Here we go round the mulberry bush,
    The mulberry bush,
    The mulberry bush.
    Here we go round the mulberry bush
    So early in the morning.

    :hair:
    howKundopoptart
  • Should we be concerned with the only definite thing we gotta do in life? Or should we be concerned with what must we do in life? To worry about the end, we forget about the middle.
    lobster
  • misecmisc1misecmisc1 I am a Hindu India Veteran
    Gui said:

    Yes, it really happened. Part of me wants to tell the whole story but I don't think that would be wise for several reasons..

    please tell whole story, if you have time to tell it. specially those moments how you felt when that thing started to happen - i do not know what happened to you, just guessing something like a shortage of breath, the last breath before you had your NDE, how it felt after your last breath before NDE, what you experienced in your NDE. i have seen the bbc documentary on youtube for it - but if you really had experienced NDE, then i will like to hear your first hand experience with such a rare thing like NDE. thanks in advance for telling your story.
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