How to overcome addiction of internet,social media and hate?

rohit

What one should do to overcome addiction of social media and religious or political debate.
I am experiencing that lot of time is being wasted in addiction of internet that have no time to exersize or research work in my domain.
please help.

misecmisc1

on internet, do not open those links, which can lead you there, where you don't want to go.

vinlyn

If that's the way you feel, there's an on-off switch, then go out and do something more active.

Madhu

Not sure if there's any secret trick to it. In general, though, quitting something involves really wanting to quit. Not just actually having an abstract idea that you 'should' quit, but a real sense of frustration with the negative activity. You have to 'feel' its shitty effect on you, not just intellectually acknowledge it.

As for hatred - identify its source. Hatred has been a lifelong problem for me. Over the last decade, I've come to recognize it as a kind of inversion of my love... Or rather, it's the byproduct of my sense that the things I love in this world are perpetually threatened. Recognizing this, I'm able to transform it from despair and hatred into something less toxic. I'm a lot better at picking my battles (on the internet and in my personal life) as well.

Nevermind

I'm not sure, but we can debate about it.

betaboy

You know you're addicted to the internet if:

you post on the internet about staying away from the internet.

Tosh

My daughter is seriously addicted to the internet. The new 'you're grounded' is 'right, that's it, I'm turning the broadband off!'. Within two-days she's clucking like a heroin addict looking for a fix and she'll do anything to get it turned back on.

Still, there's worse addictions.

JosephW

You are addicted to hate?

seeker242

Go outside and exercise? Breaking bad habits often require one to exercise some discipline. No one can help you because no one can give you discipline. Only you can do that.

Reminds me of an Olympic marathon runner. Someone asked him where he gets the motivation to go out and practice running. He said "I get the motivation to go out and practice running by going out and practicing running".

Dandelion

If you have a genuine addiction, then i think you need to actually put the computer away - give it to a trusted friend to look after for you, whilst you get better.

rohit

JosephW said:

You are addicted to hate?

Excessive debate makes man to hate. That is what now i am feeling.

how

Find & face whatever it is that you are avoiding through debate stimulation.

Dakini

Mindfullness is a start. You're aware of the addiction, that's the first step to resolving it. If debate introduces too much negativity into your life, or fuels the addiction, stop participating on those sites. The next step is to make a short list of alternative activities to the internet. If you find yourself spending too much time on it, get up and do one of those activities. Take a walk, go out and get involved in some community activity or group, or get a book to read. Meet up with your friends and spend some time just hanging out. (Human contact is so much better than the internet!).

You could put yourself on an internet "diet", and limit your time to whatever you want. Observe your reaction when your time is up, and you have to stay off it the rest of the day. Meditate and seek equanimity if you find yourself becoming agitated or stressed without your internet "fix". Do you meditate? You should. It will help you find a calm place, and could lower your need for this obsessive-compulsive internet activity.

Good luck! Let us know how you do. :thumbsup:

Jainarayan

Internet forums and arguments often bring out the worst in me, and it spills over into real life. Not only that, I've wasted evenings and weekends on the internet, when I could have been doing something productive. Very rarely will anyone change anyone's mind. I've just been telling myself lately that the internet will still be there tomorrow, and it can survive without me. With that I've been backing off.

anataman

I just breeze in and out of the internet and love the interaction I can have with it and you. Sometimes it's really grounding, sometimes it's petty, sometimes it's pathetic, and sometimes it's so revealing and personal but knowing there is a community of people who have similar interests, insights misunderstandings and understandings breaths a little more life into my life.

Mettha

anataman

I don't do the social media thing!

Hate - practicing compassion as much as possible.

JosephW

If debate makes you hate, excessive or not, I would say you are feeding that problem right now. One thing is hard to deny, if you are a part of any of the Social Media sites, such as Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, or whatever you may use, that is nothing but a frenzy of gossip, lies, and stress... I remember having one in it's earlier days for about a year, though I wasn't that active, I remember every time I logged on I would find my self extremely stressed out. I would say disconnect things like that as a first step. Other than that I am no Psychiatrist, I guess you might want to join Scientology, that might help.

Kundo

rohit said:

What one should do to overcome addiction of social media and religious or political debate.
I am experiencing that lot of time is being wasted in addiction of internet that have no time to exersize or research work in my domain.
please help.

Namaste,

Stay offline

In metta,
Raven

Barra

Please don't join Scientology unles you want to lose want to lose your individuality and control over your life. It is antithetical to Buddhism.

lobster

rohit said:

What one should do to overcome addiction of social media and religious or political debate.

How dare you ask this question!
Have you learned nothing from all that religious and political debate!

I am experiencing that lot of time is being wasted in addiction of internet that have no time to exersize or research work in my domain.
please help.

Why should we help? Can you help me?
You my dear friend, are on your own.

Gosh I can be so wikid.

http://zenhabits.net/change/

rohit

@lobster
Actually my aim was to have command over English,that is somewhat accomplished.

Yes, I have learned lot in political or religious debate, and found that people would not change their basic beliefs which they have learned since childhood. That what bites me that i came to know people would not change to better or at least they will not ignore their selfishness no matter other innocents have to pay for that. Therefore i don't think there is any need to debate further with those people.

lobster

Actually my aim was to have command over English,that is somewhat accomplished.

Bravo.
Many people feel I am still learning to speak plain English.

Your English seems developed. What sort of exercise are you planning on? Mine is currently cycling and walking. I would love to be doing yoga again, maybe we can encourage each other?

Would you do half an hour if I did? I think I may have a plan . . .
http://www.yogaeverywhere.com/villains/index.html

I hope you find your next requirement
:wave:

lobster

Just found my pages on 'paper bag yoga' . . .

If I can find a suitable paper bag I think I can manage that . . .
Really feeling motivated now . . .

Jainarayan

anataman said:

I don't do the social media thing!

I opened a Facebook account because "everyone" said it was fun. Then people were finding and friending me, which made me realize I didn't want to be found and friended. I closed the account faster than shit through a goose.

poptart

Whenever I become concerned by my addiction to the internet I find joining another forum takes my mind off it.

DairyLama

Glow

Here is a Buddhist-based approach, utilizing the characteristics of anatta (not-self), anicca (impermanence), and dukkha (unsatisfactoriness):

1.) Notice when your addiction to the internet is fueled by a desire to construct or support a particular self-concept. A lot of the popularity of social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit is fueled in part by people's innate insecurities, which can easily be manipulated with just the right widgets, buttons, and quantification systems into a sort of obsessive compulsive narcissism. This includes exquisitely engineered tools to keep you attached to sites: people get addicted to racking up Facebook "Friends" or "Likes", Reddit "karma" points (aptly named), or the thrill of a debate in which you can prove you're smarter or better than someone else. Heck, even the little "LOL", "Insightful", and "Awesome" buttons at the bottom of New Buddhist posts can serve to fuel self-obsession.

Notice to what extent you're building up a self-concept when you engage in your social media, or when you are participating simply a means of saving face or fear of embarrassment. And then remember what the Buddha said about conceit: feeling yourself superior to others, feeling yourself inferior to others, and feeling yourself equal to others are just symptoms of being stuck in the game of "selfing." Selfing is a very unsatisfying game that is oftentimes a painful detour from being present and alive to the life around us.

2. Notice how short-lived the joy of visiting these sites is. We all have our innocuous little distractions to take the edge off of the everyday dukkha of life: we have a cup of tea or wine or some cookies at the end of the day, or watch cat videos on Youtube, or we shoot the shit with friends/family by chatting into the evening. There's nothing wrong with any of this. In fact, it's the "juice" of life. However, we cross the line into "addiction" when we fail to act in our long-term best interest, instead getting dependent on satisfying a short-term sense of pleasure as a distraction or escapism.

In the case of visiting websites, most posts, jokes, arguments, etc. get buried within a day or two -- buried in the past and cyberspace, rarely ever to be seen by anyone again. Is it worth the time, emotional investment, and energy you spent on these ephemeral trifles?

3. Notice the suffering that this behavior causes you. You wouldn't have asked for help on this forum if you didn't find what you're doing painful in some way. Perhaps you find it simply stirs up unskillful and painful mind-states, like anger, bitterness, anxiety, or distraction/confusion. Or perhaps there are parts of your life that are going neglected because you spend so much time in front of a glowing screen. Notice your dissatisfaction, and use it as fuel for dispassion.

Notice also why you are turning to the internet, especially if you do so to distract yourself from distressing emotions: insecurity? shame? anxiety or fear? depression? sadness? These are things that you will need to face and deal with in your life: ask someone for help or actually change the situation that is causing them to arise.

rohit

Glow said:

Here is a Buddhist-based approach, utilizing the characteristics of anatta (not-self), anicca (impermanence), and dukkha (unsatisfactoriness):

1.) Notice when your addiction to the internet is fueled by a desire to construct or support a particular self-concept. A lot of the popularity of social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit is fueled in part by people's innate insecurities, which can easily be manipulated with just the right widgets, buttons, and quantification systems into a sort of obsessive compulsive narcissism. This includes exquisitely engineered tools to keep you attached to sites: people get addicted to racking up Facebook "Friends" or "Likes", Reddit "karma" points (aptly named), or the thrill of a debate in which you can prove you're smarter or better than someone else. Heck, even the little "LOL", "Insightful", and "Awesome" buttons at the bottom of New Buddhist posts can serve to fuel self-obsession.

Notice to what extent you're building up a self-concept when you engage in your social media, or when you are participating simply a means of saving face or fear of embarrassment. And then remember what the Buddha said about conceit: feeling yourself superior to others, feeling yourself inferior to others, and feeling yourself equal to others are just symptoms of being stuck in the game of "selfing." Selfing is a very unsatisfying game that is oftentimes a painful detour from being present and alive to the life around us.

2. Notice how short-lived the joy of visiting these sites is. We all have our innocuous little distractions to take the edge off of the everyday dukkha of life: we have a cup of tea or wine or some cookies at the end of the day, or watch cat videos on Youtube, or we shoot the shit with friends/family by chatting into the evening. There's nothing wrong with any of this. In fact, it's the "juice" of life. However, we cross the line into "addiction" when we fail to act in our long-term best interest, instead getting dependent on satisfying a short-term sense of pleasure as a distraction or escapism.

In the case of visiting websites, most posts, jokes, arguments, etc. get buried within a day or two -- buried in the past and cyberspace, rarely ever to be seen by anyone again. Is it worth the time, emotional investment, and energy you spent on these ephemeral trifles?

3. Notice the suffering that this behavior causes you. You wouldn't have asked for help on this forum if you didn't find what you're doing painful in some way. Perhaps you find it simply stirs up unskillful and painful mind-states, like anger, bitterness, anxiety, or distraction/confusion. Or perhaps there are parts of your life that are going neglected because you spend so much time in front of a glowing screen. Notice your dissatisfaction, and use it as fuel for dispassion.

Notice also why you are turning to the internet, especially if you do so to distract yourself from distressing emotions: insecurity? shame? anxiety or fear? depression? sadness? These are things that you will need to face and deal with in your life: ask someone for help or actually change the situation that is causing them to arise.

Very helpful. Thanks.

Glow

You're welcome. Good luck.

Hawkins

To over come addiction to social media, such as Facebook, I started by deleted the app from my phone. I came to realize that I would spend too much of my time opening the app and quickly spinning through news feed for a minute for absolutely no reason, sometimes without even reading anything in the feed and ever being mindful of my actions.

That helped a lot. Now my only way to get on it is through my phones internet browser, which take more effort to get to and in turn makes me more mindful of the actions. I find my self going to Facebook maybe ONCE a day, or once every couples of days, compared to many times within a couple hours.

Great response Glow! Thank you