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Musings on the menopause - Does Dhamma have a role?
federica
Seeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
This discussion was created from comments split from: ten things practice.
Apologies, this was very off topic, in the above thread.....
Maybe opening this thread in Diet & Habits, on how women can cope best with the changes they experience, in a Dhammic way.... So I moved these posts...
Apologies, this was very off topic, in the above thread.....
Maybe opening this thread in Diet & Habits, on how women can cope best with the changes they experience, in a Dhammic way.... So I moved these posts...
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Comments
I absolutely refuse to succumb to my Doctor's 'advice' that I need hormone REPLACEMENT therapy.
as an aside....
.
I aim to grow old disgracefully.
Starting 10 years ago.....
Too much details!!!!
Why? :scratch: .
Off topic: To make a long story short.......
It's only short term. NO more than a couple of years until I go through full menopause. One of my ovaries shut down in my early 30's. I tried for a long time without any replacement...but life got VERY miserable. Not only 'head in the oven", or mood swings...but constant nasua and pregnant like symptoms. 14 day cycles....No sleeping or anything. It was either hysterectomy... (which the Dr's push like crazy here) or the hormones...I chose the hormones........ Mother Nature will take her course in about 4 years and I'll stand back and let her have her way.....Look what you made me talk about, hahahaha
@mmo ...Keep living and you'll have these issues .....
Puberty backwards..........
sickness, aging and death. It will meet you too.
@federica
@Vastmind
One of the reasons why I don't mind co habiting with bears every summer kayaking is that I train throughout the rest of the year in survival tactics at home with my menopausal partner. Backing out of a room with eyes averted is now second nature....
Anyway, slowly getting to my point...
My Mom stayed on hormone replacement therapy until she was 81 and her new doctor asked her why she was still taking them. She then went off them and immediately experienced all the menopausal symptoms with a frail 81 year old body & mind that she chose to dodge when she was 50. It was not pretty.
Well, this is why I was careful to emphasise the word Replacement' in my post... I realised it was a term @Vastmind omitted to use, and I suspected there was a reason for that.... turns out I was correct. For her, it wasn't a case of routinely-prescribed HRT....
In my case, I have an exceptionally good book on existing harmoniously with one's menopause, without the additional use of hormones the body no longer needs or uses anyway...
A balanced diet, with the addition of some extra foodstuffs one wouldn't have as a matter of course, and a menopause can be negotiated in a far calmer, more natural way.
Besides, if i give my H merry-hell, I want him to know it ALL comes from me, and not some pumped-in chemicals i'm being unnecessarily subjected to.
If i kill him, I'd like to do it naturally....
No keep it as it is - it is amusing me anyhow!
As I have been blessed with horrific PMS (genetic from my mom, it seems) I am hoping I am likewise blessed with her menopause, which carried on in a fashion that she barely noticed it was happening. I'd be ok with that.
With anything else I go through with my body, paying attention to exactly what it is helps me to know what my body needs to help alleviate the worst of it, especially changing diet. I was having horrid cramps last night (sorry for the TMI, lol) and I did some yoga poses that helped immensely, and immediately. I am hoping I can manage menopause the same. Attention and awareness with the body and the mind.
I find just before I hit my period i get extremely 'mouthy'.... my ex H always used to say...'oh, you've got your Pre-Menstrual Mouth on.....' or PMM, as he came to call it...well, one day, I turned on him (well you would, wouldn't you?
. ) and I advised him that simply because I became more forceful, it didn't mean what I said was untrue; in fact, for my own part, i find I'm more brutally honest and direct, speaking my mind frankly, albeit a bit tersely....
I'm more 'true to myself' during this time than I am the remainder of the month; most of the time, I tend to bite my tongue, practise patience and diplomacy and generally try to be on my best behaviour.
so in fact, the PMM is the 'real me'....
^^^ Same here. A lady at work said the other day, " When I'm on, I just want everyone to leave me alone, don't you?" ... I said " Hell no, I want everyone to come and listen to exactly what I think and feel about everything"! lolololol
A heating pad for cramps is fantastic!!!!!!! Try it!
I usually want nothing more than for everyone I know to disappear. Even if they are super nice, I just don't even want to hear people's voices. It takes an immense amount of effort and control to make sure my tone doesn't come across as "I'd rather kill you than be speaking to you." It's horrid. I hate feeling that way. Thankfully, it doesn't happen every month anymore. It used to be a full week every months. Now it's a day or so every few months. Also, thankfully, I don't have a husband who is a snot about it. He knows I feel like crap and mostly just leaves me alone and helps out a bit extra. And encourages the kids not to poke the bear, lol.
I remember clear as day the very second I realized I had "become a woman" and my first thought was "oh great. Only 40 more years until menopause." I cannot wait to be done with it all, even if I have to go through hell to get there.
Though, I can say, my Buddhist practice has helped quite a lot. I understand myself better and recognize when things are arising better, so at least I can still myself before I go ranting and thrashing about, lol. It definitely helps, and I assume it will help with menopause, too. I honestly have not yet found a single area of my life, small or big, that Dharma does not make better/easier.
@karasti said "I remember clear as day the very second I realized I had "become a woman" and my first thought was "oh great. Only 40 more years until menopause." I cannot wait to be done with it all, even if I have to go through hell to get there."
I said that too back then. But I admit, the woman side shutting down was a little more emotional than I thought. I even had my tubes tied, but somehow I guess I thought that was my choice/decision. Once the lady parts started shutting down themselves...I went through a little mourning/good- bye period. It's a changing of the guards, for sure...hahaha. I might have been more prepared if I was a little older....
That's a good point. I can totally see it being an emotional time. I think about it sometimes. We made the conscious choice to not have more children, and it was the right choice, but I loved being pregnant so realizing I won't be again is a little sad. But there is always that part of me yet that thinks "well, you never know, you could be a surrogate somehow" LOL even though at 38 it's pretty unlikely
I'm sure it's very much a different entire phase of life, just like going into it is.
@federica .....can you share the book? Or does anyone else have books they want to share? Any opinions/info here on the soy debate and menopause?
Sure, @Vastmind; it's a book titled "The New Natural Alternatives to HRT" by Marilyn Glenville PhD.
Emphasis is on the word 'new' because this is a much-awaited, updated and revised edition. This book was first printed in 1997, and the latest edition (mine is dated 2012) contains more on eating better, more wholesome, beneficial foods. For example, I eat around 30 pre-soaked almonds a day (when I can afford them!) and have improved my diet in other ways which i have found have certainly made me feel and look better...
Investigate an author called Christiane Northrup too... I had her book, "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" which is an absolutely invaluable piece of work. She too has written several books dealing with the Menopause.
I think many women are moving away from the prevalent and habitual attitude that the menopause is a negative condition which has to be addressed by chemical re-balancing and 'curing'.
It's a simple and natural phase of life which deserves to be managed constructively...
That said, I realise every woman is different, and different conditions arise, and require different ways of being addressed. But even then, a great deal can be done to assist the symptoms to not be so intrusive, before hurling a cocktail of pharamceutical drugs at it...
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From, "The New Natural Alternatives to HRT" by Marilyn Glenville PhD.
She then goes on to say who has funded the research in the UK, the different companies involved, how thy have tested soya, in what forms and in what way, and on which anmals.
She thoroughly covers the subject and presents a really good discursive argument on the benefits of soya.
There are three to four good pages of well-researched and referenced information, and she concludes that eating soya in its natural form is very healthy, but make sure it's not GM, and try to buy organic if you can. Don't buy gimicky products like soya snack bars and pre-prepared dinners, but eat tofu, organic soya milk, and things like Miso, or edame beans.
It's a good book, with coherent and logical discussion.
Thanks so much!