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Refuge Resolution
zenguitar
Bad BuddhistNew England Veteran
Greetings, compassionate Sangha. Given the degree to which I still stupidly cling to anger, greed, and other negative emotions to this very day, 20 years after I proudly proclaimed "I am a Buddhist," it seems that all of my previous (private) resolutions to this end have failed.
SO, I am posting this publicly for the first time, hoping it will finally "stick" (and I will stick to it):
I go to the Buddha for refuge.
I go to the Dharma for refuge.
I go to the Sangha for refuge.
So it seems that once again, I am a rank beginner. But that's ok. I never mastered the most basic lessons anyway.
Thank you for understanding. 
5
Comments
The only resolutions I can get to stick are when I'm wholly fed up, such as wholly fed up with the nonsense mind generates (and I'm fairly there). I can't stop putting effort toward fully seeing through this, because I know on some level how empty it is. I'm creeping along slowly.
Refuge isn't some magic bullet that will dispell the defilements that plague you.
The only thing that will do that is practice. Lots and lots of practice. Years of practice. Lifetimes of practice.
The first thing you should do is be gentle with yourself. What you're going though, isn't stupid. Having not progressed to the level you expect, or hoped for, doesn't mean you're a rank beginner and even if you are, there's no sin in it. And stop making resolutions. Alll they are is an excuse to be hard on yourself.
Be gentle.
Practice.
I agree with @Chaz about first and foremost being gentle with yourself. Treading the path should not be used as one more excuse to berate yourself.
Which is also no excuse to let yourself off the hook every time,either.
Second, yes, resolutions should be taken lightly, as mere guideposts of what you would like to attain in life.
I personally have found that I learned more every time I deviated from my resolutions and wandered about free-styler through life, than by grabbing myself as if for dear life.
Life has many surprises in store for you if you take the backseat sometimes and hand over the need to control.
Like you, when I'm in the heat of the situation, I appeal to the three refuges, more to remind myself what I stand for, what my beliefs are, than as a magic spell that will miraculously dissolve my negative feelings.
I silently repeat the Refuge through deep breathing and that usually helps cool the flames.
(I underline usually, not always...)
Old habits die hard, they say. Negative emotions too.
What has usually worked for me, is really understanding that the more I indulge in negative reactions, the more I water the seeds that make them sprout.
In Buddhist psychology it is explained that the more you give in to negative behaviour, the more you reinforce the habit, and the more you will keep reacting that way.
So next time, try changing the reaction chip and keep your head by grounding yourself coolly in the situation at hand.
As you go over your reaction an hour later, a week later, years later: how proud will you be of yourself at the way you reacted?
Will you be able to live down your reaction in the eyes of the people who bore witness to it?
@zenguitar
nice post
The refuges mainly function in accord to the attention that you pay towards them.
Their efficacy really depends on whatever moment that you actively take refuge in them ,over ignorance, rather than thinking that just having taken them once imbues them with some power to protect or practice for you.
Think of them as a meditation where what is relevant is how you manifest them in whatever moment that you are meeting.
I also find it helpful to set aside a small amount of time each day (for me it's just before I go to sleep) to examine what those refuges** really** mean for me.
Thanks everyone, I resolve not to make any more resolutions! Except when I do again.
I should point out that I don't actually view the refuges as a magic formula that will dispel suffering, I am just trying to remind myself to stay focused. Why do it here, you may ask? Because I have never stated these intentions publicly before (no one immediately around me seems to "get" Buddhism). It is my understanding that in Buddhist countries, people normally recite the Three Refuges in the presence of a Sangha. So, I'm doing the same thing here.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
I have a picture of the Buddha in my room, and I recite the Three Jewels morning and evening.
.
That's simple and effective.
what we have done in the past we can not change
but we have a gift which is now
use it wise
that we can do for the benefit of future
This is the Beauty of Buddha's Teaching
"If you would know what you were in the past, look at your body, now.
if you would know what you will be in the future, look at your Mind, now."
...And go from there.
.
My teachers method in part is to have a 'heart wish' and that is an evolving thing from getting higher grades or more peace all the way towards liberating beings from samsara.
She also has a method of making pranadhanas which are wishful prayers. For example say I want to mow the lawn but it is rainy or even I don't feel like it. By making a pranadhana I presume that it cuts through habits and plants a seed for a new behaviour. When the conditions change for it being favorable for mowing (or whatever) then the seed from the pranadhana comes forth. This is useful in addictions for when you can't resist if you can make a sincere pranadhana it can strengthen you for not indulging next time. Or say you feel really good and you don't want to practice you just want to have wine and play on computer all day. A pranadhana can remind you of all the time you have wasted in the past. In that case, again, a seed is planted.
Certain Buddhists have made powerful formulations of pranadhanas such as the avatamsaka sutra, the last chapters. https://www.google.com/search?q=avatamsaka+sutra+end&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&channel=np&source=hp (the pdf) It's unbelievably long but I am referring to the last 20 pages or so. This chanting of a very clear pranadhana can help commitment to practice both in this life and the next.
Finally pranadhanas can help to receive a blessing from the lineage of our teacher or authors of books and fellow practitioners. The blessing literally is similar to a magic power. I am not kidding!
Remember the refuge formula is recited three times. Going for refuge the 1st,2nd and 3rd time. Here is another way to express it. To the Buddha I return and rely. To the Dharma I return and rely. To the sangha I return and rely. From a Chinese recitation handbook.
You are right! Here is the rest:
I go to the Buddha for refuge.
I go to the Dharma for refuge.
I go to the Sangha for refuge.
I go to the Buddha for refuge.
I go to the Dharma for refuge.
I go to the Sangha refuge.
And no, I did not copy and paste that!
Here's a standard set of refuges and precepts which can be changed daily:
http://www.vipassana.com/audio_files/chantra.php
And don't forget to do your P's (prostrations) after each recitation.
Oops! I meant chanted daily - no need to keep changing the tune! :rolleyes: .
Of course. Do virtual prostrations count?
No, you've got to show us the bruised knees and elbows.
.
>
Virtually, never.
Virtuously, even less so.
Of course. A prostration is a form of offering and offerings can always be visualized for practice. Virtual? Find an emoticon of someone doing their P's and your gold.
Today a very stressful situation arose.
It took half an hour of calm breathing, just to approach the capacity to deal with someone's unprovoked attack. Some physical violence involved.
That calming breath comes from refuge in meditation. Preventive medicine to call on in time of need.
Refuge is the discipline of commitment.
Be gentle in taking yourself by the scruff of the cushion to the nearest Buddha field for a spate of bowing . . .
:bowdown: .
I take refuge etc . . .
Hope you're okay @lobster...
.
I have never been OK :crazy: .
However in the sense you mean . . . I am fine . . . sometimes family are crazed people . . . :thumbup: .
@lobster dearest:
How do you even manage to get involved in these raucous situations?
I must either live in a very wholesome environment or my proficiency in the German language must be worse than I thought.
I have the occasional verbal sparring with dear hubby, permanently address son at the top of my voice, have some run in with one of the school bullies now and then, smirk at my nosey neighbours, avoid the loonies on the public transports...
But none of this gets into my system leaving permanent damage. Let alone feel on the verge of physical violence.
I think we all fail in some capacity at regular points in our practice. We're all beginners in that sense. It's a gradual path that, for most of us, takes time to manifest its fruits.
How do you even manage to get involved in these raucous situations?
Practice. :eek: .
It is not polite to go into details but one family member is very disturbed/crazed at the moment. It makes me feel quite sane . . . :om: .
We do not choose our circumstances of arising (oh unless you are a faithful follower of Hindu superstition). So for example the Buddha was born into a single parent family. He killed his mother in childbirth. His overprotective father trained him to be a good aristocrat warrior boy. Luckily he escaped by abandoning his family and hiding out with spiritual anorexics. Thus have I heard.
Anyway . . . everything works out with practice . . . :wave: .
Sorry to hear that, @lobster...
No worries.
The Buddha did good in the end . . . :buck: .
Dharma Punx Noah Levine has an interesting take on the use of the Buddhist refuge as a twelve-step recovery programme from addictions.
He says that "taking refuge in the Buddha means taking refuge from our suffering."
http://www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4223&Itemid=0